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Showing posts with label contraception. Show all posts
Showing posts with label contraception. Show all posts

Friday, 8 February 2013

On the honor and dignity of married love-from Humanae Vitae

I hope you all realize that the contraception mentality led to the passing of the redefinition of marriage. Once child-bearing is separated from marriage, the covenant changes to a mere search for pleasure.

From Humanae Vitae

Love and the moral order in marriage.....prophetic words from Pope Paul VI

Faithfulness to God's Design
13. Men rightly observe that a conjugal act imposed on one's partner without regard to his or her condition or personal and reasonable wishes in the matter, is no true act of love, and therefore offends the moral order in its particular application to the intimate relationship of husband and wife. If they further reflect, they must also recognize that an act of mutual love which impairs the capacity to transmit life which God the Creator, through specific laws, has built into it, frustrates His design which constitutes the norm of marriage, and contradicts the will of the Author of life. Hence to use this divine gift while depriving it, even if only partially, of its meaning and purpose, is equally repugnant to the nature of man and of woman, and is consequently in opposition to the plan of God and His holy will. But to experience the gift of married love while respecting the laws of conception is to acknowledge that one is not the master of the sources of life but rather the minister of the design established by the Creator. Just as man does not have unlimited dominion over his body in general, so also, and with more particular reason, he has no such dominion over his specifically sexual faculties, for these are concerned by their very nature with the generation of life, of which God is the source. "Human life is sacred—all men must recognize that fact," Our predecessor Pope John XXIII recalled. "From its very inception it reveals the creating hand of God." (13)

Thursday, 31 January 2013

Contraception Five

A pastor from a church far way told a friend of mine that if he talked about contraception from the pulpit, he would lose most of his congregation. Why not? Why is he afraid of challenging his parish with the Truth? Is this a numbers game for him? Does he understand that his silence is consent and leads to the loss of faith and even souls?

I am writing about contraception because I have been in conversation with some people about this issue this week.

The number of contracepting Catholics remains one of the most serious statistics of our times.

I am not referring to non-Catholics in these statistics. Only Catholics. For the Millennial Catholics, this means that the vast majority of people who are in their parishes will not be practicing Catholics. To contracept is to be in serious sin. What does this mean for the local communities, for socializing, for bringing up your children among those who have, basically, lost their faith?

What does it mean for those who are trying to live by the teachings of the Church and do NFP? Where is their support? How do these good and faithful young couples develop great friendships when the marriages are not based on the same principals and ideals?

I do not doubt these statistics, as my experience talking with women is that the vast majority do contracept. I do not doubt these statistics having worked in RCIA for years and knowing that this topic was the big stumbling block for so many couples coming into the Church.

I have to admit, that the older women who have contracepted all their married life are the most difficult  with whom to discuss this issue. They get angry and defensive. They are convinced contraception will eventually be accepted by the Church.

They are not open. If they were open, they would be willing to discuss all the aspects.

“Data for the report come from the 2006–2008 National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG), which gathered information on contraceptive use from a nationally representative sample of women,” the Guttmacher Institute stated in “Countering Conventional Wisdom: New Evidence on Religion and Contraceptive Use.” “Our analysis focuses on women who identify as Catholic,  Mainline Protestant and Evangelical Protestant and includes information about attendance at religious services and religiosity.”
Among the report’s findings-- all of which refer to women of reproductive age (15-44):

  • 25% describe themselves as Catholic, 25% as evangelical, and 22% as mainline Protestant
  • 30% of Catholic women attend Mass weekly, while 50% of evangelicals and 24% of mainline Protestants worship weekly
  • 46% of Catholic women say religion is very important to their daily lives, compared to 77% of evangelicals and 44% of mainline Protestants
  • 98% of Catholic women-- and 99% of all women-- have at one time used artificial contraception.
  • “68% of Catholic women use highly effective methods: sterilization (32%, including 24% using female sterilization,) the pill or another hormonal method (31%) and the IUD (5%).
  • “Only 3% of married Catholic women who do not want to become pregnant rely on natural family planning

  • Lies and misdemeanors: The real reason for the failure of Catholic marriages is contraception

    Religion News Servicequoted on another site, here linked, has an article  on the Pope's new comment on annulments  Now, when I worked for three parishes in RICA, as the coordinator and speaker, as well as group leader, it was clear, working with the priests, that many people seeking annulments were confused on the use of the term immaturity. Immaturity has never been a canonically given reason for annulments  Never. If judicial boards were deciding this as a cause, they were, simply wrong, as one can grow out of immaturity. It is not, unless a mental condition or personality disorder, a permanent cause. Those mental or psychological conditions are impediments to marriage. The inability to make a commitment must be based on something other than immaturity,

    Most people on the day of their marriage are somewhat immature about what the sacrament really is all about. Many of our parents (and I mean those of the Greatest Generation-the parents of the Baby Boomers) got married very young. My dad was 24 and my mom was 19, albeit six days short of 20. Dad turned 25 a few months later.

    Age has nothing to do with immaturity. Some people are mature at 20 and some immature at 36.

    The conditions for annulment have been clear for years and years and years.

    If local chancery offices and diocesan boards misused their power in granting annulments  then the Pope has the power and, indeed, necessity to change the canon law. But, canon law is not the problem. Interpretation has been sloppy.

    Thank God for this good Pope.

    The other HUGE elephant in the closet regarding Catholic marriages are the numbers of couples getting married in mortal sin and ergo, not receiving sanctifying grace in the sacrament, and sometimes, adding sin to sin.

    There are too many couples allowed to marry in the Church from a cohabitating relationship.

    Contraception, also a mortal sin, blocks the reception of sanctifying grace. 

    i contend that many marriages fail as the couple did not receive grace and kept sinning going into marriage. 

    No graces in the relationship leads the couple further and further away from God. Can He and does He intervene? Yes. But one must not presume. I know very good people who have converted from contracepting marriages. But, this is rare. They repented, and went to Confession and never sinned that sin again.

    In order for anyone to receive the grace of a sacrament, one must be in grace to receive grace, except for Confession and the last anointing. That sacrament must be offered by priests, and yes, even demanded, before a Catholic marriage takes place. If the couple have no intention of not contracepting, for example, that would constitute a bad Confession and ergo, no grace. 

    God will not be mocked. He is not deceived. Be not deceived, God is not mocked.Galatians 6:7 DR

    Repenting of contraception opens the door to new life in a marriage. Confession is necessary and salutary.

    Do not be afraid.

    And, if one of the two refuse to have children, lying, perhaps, before marriage, that is grounds for annulment. Being closed to life by will is an impediment. 

    Those who take part in the sacrament of marriage must be open to life.

    Anything else is not only a false commitment before God and between each other, but a misunderstanding of one of the main purposes of marriage.

    Sadly, many priests have led couples astray on these points and condoned contraception between Catholic couples.

    God help those bad priests. They have weakened the Church.

    If you are contracepting, please pray and stop. You cannot enter into the journey towards God while doing so. 

    Ladies, if a man wants you to move in with him before marriage, he does not love you. If he wants you to contracept, he does not love you. He only loves his own convenience and pleasure.

    Tuesday, 29 January 2013

    The me-as-god mentality in marriage

    Those who have adopted a contracepting mentality have created a me-as-god mentality.

    This may sound harsh, but the mark of a real Christian and a real Catholic is obedience despite not understanding. So many who contracept only see the negativity of having to not have sex when they want it, rather than the large picture of God's invitation to the married couple to pro-create life with Him.

    What an invitation!

    The me-as-god mentality goes like this:

    I can decide whether to be open to life or not.

    I can decide to have only two or three children because of finances.

    I can decide to have only one or two children because of my career.

    And, so on.

    The first decision is based on a misunderstanding of the marriage act, which must always, in order to be a true expression of love, be open to life. True love has no boundaries, no limitations. When we love someone, we give that person our all. Holding back any part of ourselves is saying, I love you but not all of me. "I am giving you myself, but not all of me."

    To me, true love is the sacrifice of one's expectations and dreams for the sake of the other. Hopefully, those expectations and dreams overlap. God is part of the relationship between two married people. God must integral in that relationship or it is not true love, as God is Love. There is no end of love, real love. See the mini-series on the Pope's encyclical, also tagged.

    Those people who have the desire and ability to give of themselves, to die to self and enter into a loving relationship based on trust and hope, will find God.

    To be continued...

    On the Contracepting Mentality

    Thanks to Philotheaonfire...........

    In discussions with Catholics in England over the past 30 years, I have discovered, to this present day, the wide acceptance among Catholics of contraception. Contraception is held to be a "sacred cow" even among some Catholics who are anti-abortion.

    How this happened to become so widespread partly has to do with three things which mark Catholicism in Great Britain since the War.

    First, is the acceptance of mixed marriages. The marrying of a Catholic to a non-Catholic has been more widespread here than in America for a variety of reasons. One has been the soft-pedalling by the clergy of the dangers of such marriages and also, the demographics.

    Second has been the sad and horribly scandalous acceptance of the clergy of the contraceptive mentality and the rejection of Humanae Vitae. This is still obvious by the position of the clergy towards The Tablet, which is still sold in the back of Catholic Churches and is supported by those priests who allow this to happen. The Tablet immediately broke with the Church over Humanae Vitae so many years ago.

    Third, and this may be unique to British Catholics, as I never heard anyone state this opinion in the States, is that birth control is fine in a marriage relationship but not fine for fornication, that is, sex outside of marriage.

    This, of course, is a misunderstanding of the purpose of marriage. This error lies at the feet of the clergy. I hate to say this, but too many priests have over-emphasized the primary reason of marriage as companionship and have separated the marriage act from the call of God to pro-create. NFP classes should be offered in all dioceses, so that engaged couples can learn how to use this effective means as soon as they are married. Why the emphasis on children has slipped away is part of the contraceptive mentality and the forgetfulness of one of the most important reasons for marriage, the establishment of the nuclear family, which is not a politically correct term.

    Until this mentality is addressed, Catholics have lost the culture war in Britain and people's souls as in danger.

    There is no such thing as invincible ignorance in our society, so that cannot be use as an excuse. Sadly, adults in Britain, who have grown up with the contracepting mentality, must be evangelized, which is hard when one of two in the couple are not open to changing.

    Only the Holy Spirit can convict, but we must be willing to pray for loving approaches to this serious problem.

    To be continued....