I recall that that our hearts are formed while we are living, and the amount of charity we have metaphorically, "in our hearts" has depended upon several movements as rational, baptized persons. This is what life is all about-moving into Love, who is a Person. Some further ideas on this process follow:
First, baptism is essential, and "thanks" to the those readers who have encouraged me in that discussion. Without sanctifying grace, we cannot be holy.
Second, only by being in conformity with the teaching of the Catholic Church, can we become saints. Heretics, even in "small things" cannot become perfect. This means a knowledge of our self, hopefully gained through community, marriage, a spiritual director, or other input from objective persons. This person could be a doctor, a counselor, even a Catholic psychologist, who understands God, prayer, the life of grace. The Church provides this objectivity. Human nature needs the interaction of both the rational, spiritual, and material aspect of the body and soul.
Third, as Allers, in the book I have been reading, The Psychology of Character, states, "a proper development of love for one's neighbor is a necessary antecedent to the love given to God, and is demanded by the nature of man...the garnered experience of man's spiritual life shows that our love for our fellow-men passes over into love for God."
In other words, spiritual perfection without love of neighbor is impossible.
Fourth, all the problems in families, marriages, parishes, etc. are linked to the lack of love for others, based on the lack of love for one's self. Absorbing the love of God in prayer and through the sacrament, opens our hearts to other people. We must love others, as we love ourselves....If we think we are holy, all we need to do, as Allers notes, is to ask the question, and I reform his statement into a plural form, "how we stand with our fellow-humans determines how we are loving God."
The never-ending story......is Love, Who is a Person, Who is God.