If we share our state on the road to perfection with a priest, are we not bragging?
I shall let Bernard of Clairaux answer this question.
I may boast securely if my conscience tells me that I in no way detract from the glory of
my Creator, because I shall be speaking in the Lord rather than against him. Not only
are we not forbidden to boast in this fashion, we are even encouraged by the words:
"You seek glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the only
God." This ability to glory in God alone can come solely from God. Nor is this glory a
small thing; it is as real as the truth which is its object, and is a truth so rare, that only an
exceptional few even of the perfect can glory in perfectly possessing it. Off with them
then, those men who are but a breath, men who are but a delusion; let them deceive
each other in their vanity. For the man who makes a wise boast will put his work to the
test, he will carefully scrutinize it in the light of the truth, and then his reason for boasting
will be in himself and not in the patronage of his neighbor. I am but a fool if I entrust my
reputation to the casket of your lips, and then begin to beg it of you when I feel the need
for it. Am I not simply putting myself in your power, to be praised or blamed as you
please? But I am determined to be responsible for myself, I shall be loyal in my own
regard. And yet not entirely to myself; rather have I put my trust in him who can take
care of all that I have committed to him until that Day. It is safe in his hands, it will be
given back in full. Then all those who set no store by the praise of men will receive the
sure praise of God. For those whose glory is in earthly loves will find confusion at the
end," even as David said: "Those who please men are confounded, because God has
rejected them."
7. Dear brothers, if you can grasp these truths none of you will hanker after praise in
this life, because if you win any favor here below and fail to thank God for it, you are
defrauding him. How is it possible for you to glory, you who are but stinking dust? Will
you dare glory in holiness of life? But it is the Spirit who makes holy; that Spirit who is
God's, not yours. Even if you are resplendent with prodigies and miracles it is still God's
power working through your hands. Or have you made an elegant speech that wins the
plaudits of the crowd? But it is Christ who has given you the eloquence and wisdom. For
what is your tongue but the pen of a writer? And it is yours only on loan, a talent
committed to you, to be demanded again with interest. If you work willingly and
persevere in producing results, you will receive the reward of your labor. If you do
otherwise your talent will be taken from you, but the interest will still be demanded, and
you will suffer the fate of a dishonest and lazy workman. All praise, therefore, for the
manifold gifts of grace with which you are endowed, must be given to him who is the
author and giver of all that is praiseworthy. Make sure your thanks are not the pious
cant of the hypocrite, nor the empty gesture of the worldling, nor yet the constraint
imposed on beasts of burden; but, as one has a right to expect of dedicated men, let it
be full of confident sincerity, of meaningful devotion and of becoming, well-regulated
cheerfulness. Therefore, while offering up the sacrifice of praise and fulfilling our vows
from day to day, let us make every endeavor to put meaning into our observance, to fill
the meaning with love, our love with joy and our joy with realism; let that realism be
tempered with humility and our humility be buoyant with liberty. Then we shall advance
toward our goal with the untrammeled passions of a purified mind. We may even find
ourselves at times living beyond our normal powers through the great intensity of our
affections and our spiritual joy, in jubilant encounters, in the light of God, in sweetness,
in the Holy Spirit, all showing that we are among those envisioned by the Prophet when
he said: "Lord, they will walk in the light of your favor; they will rejoice in your name all
day and exult in your righteousness.
What if we do not have a spiritual director?
Pray and find a good confessor. Pray and surround yourself with orthodox, good people. Pray and fast.