Many of us who have worked in the Church for years either in paid or volunteer positions, had to make decisions to follow our consciences rather than compromise with seriously unorthodox, even evil situations.
When one is faced with real evil, especially inside the Church, either in chancery offices, schools, committees, universities, one has to decide how to deal with the evil.
Sometimes, one can speak about the evil and have redress to justice. Sometimes not.
When does one speak and when does one remain silent?
As we all know, silence is consent, so if a situation is truly serious, one may not have a choice to speak or not.
Ask this question? Is the remedy to this situation part of my responsibility?
Am I responsible for what is happening here as well as those above me?
Am I in this role because God allowed me to see these things and directly to deal with them?
Why do I see these things clearly and others not? Is that a gift for bringing light into darkness?
Let me give you three examples.
Someone I highly respect married into a family where the men had become 33rd degree Masons for generations. The man she married broke the chain and did not follow his ancestors into Masonry. Why? Because his wife, my friend, asked him not to do so, and explained the Church's teaching on Masonry. He listened, and did not walk in the footsteps of his dad, grandfather, uncles, and brothers.
The woman told me years later that she knew that God had called her into that family for the purpose of stopping the generational sins. She and her husband have an excellent marriage, one of the best. They have six children, all practicing Catholics as adults. God blessed them.
That was a time to speak.
Another friend of mine was working for a religious order. He found out about something very wrong-a lavender mafia. Although he did not say anything except to his immediate manager, afterwards he was fired suddenly without warning. He had a contract and his friends told him to sue the order for breach of contract.
He did not. He decided to remain silent about the injustice done to him and move on. He and his family suffered for quiet awhile from unemployment. But, this man could not sue a religious order, even one which fired him so unjustly.
That was a time to be silent.
The third situation involved a sweet, quiet woman I knew. She was a traditional Catholic and brought her children to the Latin Mass. However, her husband had refused to become a Catholic after many years of marriage. This was a great cause of pain for her. Yet, she did not argue with him or berate him. He never, never went to Mass with the family, but he did let her take the children. He was not kind to her about her faith.
On a Tuesday night in the winter, this good woman suffered a brain hemorrhage. She was rushed to the hospital, but died on the way in the ambulance early Wednesday morning, about two. She was about 52 years old. She was mourned by all her friends. On Thursday, her husband went to the priest and asked to be accepted into the Church. He made his First Confession. On the Friday morning, the day of her TLM Requiem, her husband made his First Holy Communion, kneeling at the altar rail next to his wife's casket. All knew this was a miracle of grace. Her silence, example of meekness and kindness had been rewarded.
Time to speak, time to be silent.
I agree with these different decisions. I think God can give us wisdom in some situations, but in others, we cannot honestly predict how people will react to honesty, or light being shown on a sinful situation. In all these type of situations, we endure pain
Life is unjust, even in Church circles, even in marriage, and each one of us must decide how to deal with pain, betrayal, injustice, sin.
There is no easy answer, only heroic virtue.