"A Bit Worried About Stereotypes" could be the subtitle of this post.
Priests from all times were not necessarily John Waynes. If one looks at the lives of the saints, many of the male saints were full of so-called feminine traits. I am thinking of the great Doctor of the Church, St. Bernard of Clairvaux, for one, whose long series of sermons on the Song of Songs, would not have been given without insights into courtly love. He could not have been the great saint he was without the attitude of love towards the Bridegroom. In fact, a saint has to come to the union with God in an intimate manner of receiving, not giving, which is the opposite of the normal masculine manner. Read St. John of the Cross as well.
St. Bernard was raised a nobleman and passed those traits on to his monks.
He was not afraid of conflict, either. He called the great crusade. There is in the life of a gentleman, times for fighting and times for singing.
Why do we make dichotomies when these might not exist?
I can think of saints like SS. Francis de Sales, Alphonsus, John Henry Newman, Francis Borgia, Louis IX and Edward I, who were gentle men and saints. To be a gentleman is a goal of all Catholic men, hopefully and discussed on this blog many times.
I think it is dangerous to stereotype men as if outward appearances or even traits define masculinity or femininity.
The great saints who wrote on Love, such as St. Augustine and St. Francis, may be passed by on the streets today as not the American notion of manly.
I have noticed over the years that English gentlemen are much more balanced in their masculinity than American men, on the whole. They have nothing to prove and are comfortable being men, yet intellectual and interested in the arts, as many American men think are "sissy" things to do and pursue.
St. Anselm re-introduced the Trivium and Quadrivium into the seminaries for several reasons. One was to stop the ordaining of uneducated men, and the other was to make sure priests were gentlemen, who knew how to identify the stars and planets, to sing and even to dance. They learned all the subjects of both those classical curricula for a reason-to become whole, mature men.
The priest represents God and is an alter Christus. He is not an alter John Wayne. The priest needs to be a protector male, of course, but of the Faith, of Truth, of the Body of Christ, of his flock. He does not need to know how to raise cattle or fix a toilet.
(Although I know one sem close to me who was trained by his mum to be a handy-man and does fix stuff, rip up carpet, sand and oil floors, as well as does gardening, cleaning, cooking, ironing, laundry and so on.)
The helpless male is not the type we want for either the priesthood or for marriage. But, one cannot ignore the need for the scholars, the artists, the singers and composers. In our cry for more men, we must not deny that even men have different talents to bring to the Church.
It is not merely a question of either masculine or feminine traits, but men who are mature in their own selves, in their identities. Too often the gifts of empathy and gentleness are seen as feminine. These are traits of Christ Himself. Alter Christus, not alter John Waynes, please....