In my favorite movie, Lawrence of Arabia, a compelling scene reveals a problem with identity. It may be found here: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xayadx_sequence-lawrence-d-arabie-who-are_shortfilms
David Lean wanted to emphasize the struggle T. E. Lawrence had with illegitimacy. His mother never married his father, which caused Lawrence, according to some, a huge problem with knowing who he was.
Whether this specific state of mind is true or not according to history, the psychological interpretation remains valid. A person who is denied identity by two parents, a mother and a father, will suffer a loss.
Only God can heal these tragedies and only the Holy Spirit can make a man or woman new.
This newness is based on grace, which transcends the natures of our births and formation. Too many young people in the world have been forced to discover who they are by negligent, narcissistic, or nonspiritual parents. Material things alone do not give identity. But, a made up of both the flesh and the spirit, the physical cannot be ignored, either.
Some people deny their past, their heritage in order to become new. This is impossible. One must come to deal with one's family, one's heritage, in healing and in peace.
Does that mean one must be immersed in unhealthy families? No, in fact, many times people must walk away from highly negative influences. A drastic separation may be necessary for wholeness.
But, to be one's self as God created one to be, one must be honest about the past and about one's identity in God.
Love alone is the answer, but so often, love is frightening to those who have lost identity. I have seen this in the homeless or the lonely. They hate themselves so much that they can no longer be affirmed in love. Affirmation in love gives one identity.
I shall repeat that: affirmation in love gives one identity.
To be continued...