Dr. Sanity taught me so much about the narcissism imbedded in American politics that year, and she was so disturbed after the last election, she stopped writing.
She warned us for years of the impeding destruction of America because of the number of Gen Xers who had fallen into or been raised to be narcissists. Of course, there are many societal reasons for this, including contraception and the lack of religion. Nurture rather than nature seems to create narcissists.
Dr. Sanity was the first to use this term with regard to the present political personalities, including those who now run Washington.
However, she did not write about narcissism in the Church. Too many Catholics look to politics and see the narcissists at the helm, but ignore the fact that the same cultural evils which created political narcissists has created ecclesiastical ones.
I first met people like this in positions of authority in chancery offices and in Catholic schools, in administration.
The narcissist may be defined as a person who not only thinks he or she is better than everyone else, but one who honestly expects the world to revolve around his or her needs and desires.
The person who is a narcissist lives in an emotional turmoil of feeling hurt and desiring constant attention.
The true narcissist cannot understand the feelings of others and lacks empathy, except towards himself or herself.
Now, one of the obvious signs of narcissism is that the person only wants the best-the best clothes, the best food, the best car, the best vacation and so on. Such a person is never satisfied with second best.
But, the emotions cause the person to see things only from his or her point of view and not others.
A Catholic narcissist, and many are running the Church, refuses to be obedient in large or small things, as he or she only sees the personal point of view as valid.
Sometimes, these persons cannot approach a healthy relationship with God or with others in the community of faith because they simply cannot understand others and the needs of others. One way is which narcissism is very different from healthy self-esteem is found in the emotions. Emotional satisfaction rules the narcissist, and the rational runs a weak second. With regard to healthy self-esteem, there is a true recognition of sin and the need for repentance in that happy, mature state.
Those who decry the usual Novus Ordo Mass as full of false emotion and a playing to the emotions in music and in gestures may be sensing the emotional needs of the many narcissists who go to Mass. not to praise God but for their own emotional fix.
Chancery offices are full to the brim with those who have ruined Catholic school systems and even parish structures because of the overwhelming need, as they see it, for control. Those priests involved in wreckovatons may suffer from this emotional need to have their ideas hold sway over the guidelines and sanity of tradition.
The trouble is that one cannot talk with a narcissist, as all the meaning in his or her life rests in the emotions. How they feel is of the uppermost importance.
They judge only by the need for admiration and a sense of acceptance. Hence, liturgists who consistently ignore Rome's guidelines and rules for what they see as important may be working out of complete self-absorption. The many "we songs" play to the narcissistic tendencies of exaggerated self-importance and emotional satisfaction not only in those who wrote the songs, but those who sing these.
We have created another generation of narcissists by feeding them with songs about me, we, the people, instead of praising God and teaching the real lowliness of the place of the creature, the son, the daughter.
But, sadly, Catholic narcissists can be found among the effete who attend the TLM. Those who have to have the best choir, the best sermons, the best architecture may not be seeking the true spirituality of the TLM, but only the emotional fix. Like a man who only wants a trophy wife, some seek out the TLM as the trophy Mass, which feeds their sense of superiority.
Those who deny the validity of the NO have not only removed themselves from the Teaching Magisterium, but fall into a small group of those determining the entire Catholic religion from their own point of view-a classic narcissist tendency.
How is it that our society has produced so many narcissists in the past fifty years or so? Is it not a sign of the decadence of an entire culture that the narcissists are running the show both in government and in church?
Where egos run liturgies, where egos run interpretations of tradition which never existed, a parish has a huge problem.
Sadly, only the seeking of humility and the constant awareness of sinfulness can combat the rule of those who only love themselves.
Where there is emotional chaos in a parish, look for the narcissist.
I also think that narcissism can cause same-sex attraction, as one is only loving the same and not the different, the other, the other gender. How hard it is to love one who is completely different, such as a woman loving a man and a man loving a woman? But, such is God's plan. And, such is a topic for another post.
Here is the anti-narcissist prayer.
O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved...
From the desire of being extolled ...
From the desire of being honored ...
From the desire of being praised ...
From the desire of being preferred to others...
From the desire of being consulted ...
From the desire of being approved ...
From the fear of being humiliated ...
From the fear of being despised...
From the fear of suffering rebukes ...
From the fear of being calumniated ...
From the fear of being forgotten ...
From the fear of being ridiculed ...
From the fear of being wronged ...
From the fear of being suspected ...
From the desire of being extolled ...
From the desire of being honored ...
From the desire of being praised ...
From the desire of being preferred to others...
From the desire of being consulted ...
From the desire of being approved ...
From the fear of being humiliated ...
From the fear of being despised...
From the fear of suffering rebukes ...
From the fear of being calumniated ...
From the fear of being forgotten ...
From the fear of being ridiculed ...
From the fear of being wronged ...
From the fear of being suspected ...
That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I ...
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease ...
That others may be chosen and I set aside ...
That others may be praised and I unnoticed ...
That others may be preferred to me in everything...
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease ...
That others may be chosen and I set aside ...
That others may be praised and I unnoticed ...
That others may be preferred to me in everything...
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…