Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.
Eleanor Roosevelt
I do not know if this is true, but I grew up in an idea family. We never discussed people, and we rarely, if ever, discussed event. That was true on both sides, maternal and paternal.
A good friend of mine who works with people who discuss people was trying to explain to me how difficult it is to work and avoid gossip.
Another person I know told me that all people talk about at the coffee shop are things which are happening, like baseball games or catastrophes. She cannot bring up religion at all to her friends who are fallen away Catholics. (I am not talking about necessary conversations at work, which mostly should be idea conversations relating to meetings or such. All jobs need to discuss the ideas of work.)
The one category which Ms. Roosevelt neglected to mention is the discussion I cannot enter and most likely hate the most and that is discussion about things. It is so low that Ms. Roosevelt does not even have it on her list.
One time, a long time ago, in 1990, I remember my best friend of years ago, telling me that in marriage it is sometimes so hard to maintain good discussions with one's spouse, as one has to be careful not to fall into constant discussions on what food the kids eat, the gastrointestinal habits of the baby, and buying nappies. We had a good laugh and decided to go back to talking about ideas.
Even my dear multimillionaire friend in California does not discuss, ever, things. She does not discuss her houses, gardens, china, glassware, land, sports-cars, and so on. She does not discuss her investments. She discusses ideas, mostly religion and politics. I love meeting up with her once a year for talk and lunches.
I am not sure why the discussion of things has taken over American conversation. Americans have slid into sharing and comparing the accumulation or addition of things to the point where I feel, truly, in a foreign land.
Perhaps this is why I feel more at home in Europe. People there discuss ideas, philosophies, religion, political trends.
What has happened here may be a sign of gross insecurity. Or, it may be a sign of people merely not learning how to have interesting conversations. Or a sign that people do not care about ideas. I am not sure of the causes.
In order to evangelize, one must get people to discuss the idea of religion. How hard that is here, when more and more people are refusing to engage in real discussions about things that matter, and fall into gossip, consumerism and, therefore, defensiveness.
Maybe this is one reason why so many of my friends have been religious or priests or doctors. As professionals, of course, they do not talk about people. As busy, they do not talk about events. As people of God, they talk about the higher ideas of our beautiful faith.
One must pray about one's conversation. Some people say to meet people where they are, which is fine as long as they do not stay there. One can only talk about cars for so long and in so many conversations.
It is hard to break through the crusted shell of consumerism.
One of the great values of being in Tyburn was the silence. If one is always talking, how can one hear God?
One does not have to talk about things, people or events. Just pray about these things. Prayer is more important that talk.
Pray, reflect, and then, talk about God, Who is The Most Wonderful Topic of any conversation.
It is hard to break through the crusted shell of consumerism.
One of the great values of being in Tyburn was the silence. If one is always talking, how can one hear God?
One does not have to talk about things, people or events. Just pray about these things. Prayer is more important that talk.
Pray, reflect, and then, talk about God, Who is The Most Wonderful Topic of any conversation.