Here are some links and there will be re-posts. This first link caused controversy, but I stand by this.
http://supertradmum-etheldredasplace.blogspot.com/2012/07/i-do-not-believe-that-being-single-is.html
and......
Sunday, 26 January 2014
The Vocation of The Priest's Wife and The Three Marys
Because for many months, I was close to some Ordinariate priests and met and talked with some of the wives when I was in England, even briefly, I observed a key to the mystery of the married Ordinariate priest which I would like to share. I have also met other women in the role of "priest wives".
The Catholic people on the whole are not accustomed to the vicar's wife. Indeed, when we lived in Petersfield years ago, it took the parish several months to accept a married ex-Anglican, now Catholic priest for a pastor. The objections were all based on ignorance and prejudice and in the end, the priest and his wife were not only happily accepted, but greatly loved.
The problem with the normal person in the pew is that these Catholics do not understand that if the husband, who is a Catholic priest has a vocation, his wife has a vocation as well. I understand this vocation of the priest's wife, which is more than being the wife of a man who happens to be a priest, and a mother to his children.
The vocation of the priest's wife consists of the greatest sacrifice a woman can give to the Church, her husband to take on another Bride, the Bride of Christ, which is the Church
The priest's wife is not the first woman in the priest's life She is the third woman in the priest's life, and yet, a great support to his ministry, a point to which I shall return.
The First Woman in the heart of the married priest is the Bride of Christ, the one, true, holy, Catholic and apostolic Church. He is her protector, her guide, her spouse as he is alter Christus.
The Second Woman in the heart of the married priest is the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Theotokos, the Mother of us all. The priest takes her guidance and love and honors her above all women.
The Third Woman is his wife. And, this wife is the servant of the servant. If she is a stay-at-home mom, she organizes the life of the priest so that he can maximize his day of service to the Church. She is not first, ever, and must be scheduled, and disciplined.
If the Third Woman has a job out of necessity, in order to help support the priest and family, as so many now must after losing their pensions, houses, and other goods by converting to the Catholic Church, even having to go back to work to make ends meet, this job is the gift she gives to not only the family, but to the Church, easing the financial burden of a diocese or the Ordinariate.
If the Third Woman is called to be active in the daily workings of the Church, especially if the children are grown and gone, her relationship with the parish will demand her time and gifts, and she will support the work of her husband as he sees fit. I know one priest's wife who does so many things that she is just as busy as he is.
A priest's wife has been called by God to give her husband to the Church, and to the world. She knows that she is called to serve, and to sacrifice the normal comforts of married life.
She will not be rich, or have the normal aspirations of a married woman in the world of the laity, because even though she is lay, she has a vocation to be in the world, and not of the world in a direct manner.
Her world is one like the women who served Christ and His apostles, so that they could live out the vocation of the apostolic call.
I greatly honor the wives of the priests of the Ordinariate and other priest's wives who have come in via different manners into the Catholic Church. May we honor them as we would honor those women at the foot of the Cross.
Like the married women, a mother of a priest sacrifices the time and attention of a son, grandchildren and all the protection and love a son would give to a mother is he were not married to the Bride of Christ. Mothers of priests should understand priest's wives from the perspective of giving up a natural relationship for a supernatural one, as these sons and these husbands do not belong to us, but to God.
"Now there stood by the cross of Jesus His mother, and His mother’s sister, Mary [the wife] of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene." We call these women, Mary Salome, Mary wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene, the Three Marys, or the Three Maries. Mary Salome, wife of Zebedee and mother of the "Sons of Thunder," James and John, aided Christ and His apostles and stood watching the horror of the Passion and Death of Our Lord. Like Mary the Mother of God, she is one of my models
These women ministered to Christ, set aside their own status, their own resources, their own lives for the sake of the Gospel.
So, too, do our sisters who are the wives of our Catholic priests.
Monday, 24 February 2014
On Josephite Marriages, Again
I have written about this before and have recently re-posted my original article on Josephite Marriages. Almost monthly, I am meeting couples who have chosen this way of holiness, as I noted in the first article I wrote two years ago.
Some saintly couples already noted on this blog chose Josephite Marriages, and I mentioned a fictional couple in my novella, who chose such a lifestyle.
As times become more perilous, couples may consider this path of holiness. Most of the couples I know who have chosen this path are just beyond child-bearing age. In other words, they made the decision to be completely chaste. As they had given God children, as expected from good Catholics, and as one of the huge reasons for marital relations no longer was possible, these couples prayed and spoke with spiritual directors about their decision.
The couples prayed first, of course, and came to the decision together, first.
As is most obvious, a Josephite Marriage is named after St. Joseph, who did not have marital relations with the Blessed Virgin Mary. This marriage was completely celibate, and some Josephite marriages are so.
There is a confusion among some modern people on the validity of a Josephite, or non-consummated marriages, unlike the ones described above. If a couple is married in the Church and has been living together for a length of time, the marriage is assumed consummated. A Josephite Marriage is called ratum tantum in Canon Law. Note, that when a couple are married in the Nuptial Mass, or with the Nuptial Blessing, they are "married". In the Church today, a non-consummated marriage must still be the subject of an annulment if a party decides to leave the marriage, divorce, and re-marry.
One may reference this post and others under the tag, "marriage" on this blog for more information.
http://supertradmum-etheldredasplace.blogspot.com/2012/01/unusual-controversial-catholic-subject.html
Monday, 16 January 2012
An Unusual, Controversial Catholic Subject-Celibacy in Marriage
Now, I am not married, but I live a celibate life-style. However, I have
an increasing number of friends, traditional Catholics, who have opted
for celibacy in their marriages. This is not a new ideal in the Church,
and although Christ wants most married couples to be fruitful and
multiply, that is, to have the wonderful children God desires them to
have, there have been and are couples, who for the sake of the kingdom,
have chosen a different way. Of course, the norm, having children as God
gives, creates saints, such as Blessed Louis and Blessed Zelie Martin,
Blessed Karl and Empress Zita, SS. Joachim and Anna, SS. Isidore and
Maria (who vowed abstinence later in their marriage), and so on. This is
not an exhaustive list.
However,
the emphasis on celibacy should be rare, but seen as a call within a
call. I also think there has to be good reason for not having children.
The grand example are two of my favorite Catholics, Jacques and Raissa
Maritain, who on the Isle of Wight, as Benedictine Oblates, took a vow
of celibacy "for the sake of the Kingdom". Raissa writes in her diary,
which I practically have memorized, that it was difficult for her, but
she could see that Jacques was called to be in the world and she was his
prayer backup, companion in holiness, and confidant, as well as
best-friend. They shared philosophy, theology, and the dedication to
bringing the Gospel into the workplace in the extreme. God called them
to this.
I first met celibate married couples about twenty-five years ago. The first couple I met were in their forties and had a close relationship with the Church and the priest who was the pastor. They were very active in the Church, but did not have normal marital relations. They had chosen that way and had married later in life. The man had been in the Jesuit seminary for years, but left, as he did not think he had a priestly vocation. He found a wife who would support him in his spiritual walk. The second couple I met were in their early sixties. They had decided that past child-bearing age, they would make a celibate commitment. Since then, I have met another couple who have decided the same thing. Their "extra" time is spent in good works, praying and fasting. Obviously, these couples have spiritual directors. This call within a call is, also, obviously, by mutual consent.
Those with a worldly mindset and even some good Catholics may find this call repelling or unnatural. I would say that this call is rare, but not unnatural. I think that those who decide to live in the world, or are called so by God to remain among the laity, can exhibit a variety of calls "for the sake of the Kingdom". And, to be in a relationship which is celibate may be a sign of contradiction to the world as well as giving two people the necessary, daily support a brother and sister in Christ may give to each other. Intimacy has many faces, and the physical side of intimacy is only one aspect of relationship. I have written this to support my friends who have chosen this way and to encourage those who feel the need for companionship without sex to be comforted in that they are not alone. We are all called to be saints, and there are many ways, in Christ, through Mary, to be saints.
In addition, God did not intend people to live all alone. The fact that there are so many single, lonely individuals needs to be addressed by the Church. Those who for whatever reason cannot be a priest or nun or sister, have some options, but loneliness should not be the norm. Church communities have failed, especially in America, to support their singles. Many Catholics are singles for many reasons. There exists a judgmental attitude, which excludes those singles from the larger interaction in the Church. And, for those who desire celibacy in the world, that is an option, but it does not have to equal loneliness. I am very fortunate, as I do not experience the gnawing type of loneliness some do. I may miss my dear friends when apart from them, but that is different than the vague experience of loneliness many feel. We all need to reach out to those who feel this need, pray for them, and include them in our busy lives. To do otherwise is not to be Christian.
I first met celibate married couples about twenty-five years ago. The first couple I met were in their forties and had a close relationship with the Church and the priest who was the pastor. They were very active in the Church, but did not have normal marital relations. They had chosen that way and had married later in life. The man had been in the Jesuit seminary for years, but left, as he did not think he had a priestly vocation. He found a wife who would support him in his spiritual walk. The second couple I met were in their early sixties. They had decided that past child-bearing age, they would make a celibate commitment. Since then, I have met another couple who have decided the same thing. Their "extra" time is spent in good works, praying and fasting. Obviously, these couples have spiritual directors. This call within a call is, also, obviously, by mutual consent.
Those with a worldly mindset and even some good Catholics may find this call repelling or unnatural. I would say that this call is rare, but not unnatural. I think that those who decide to live in the world, or are called so by God to remain among the laity, can exhibit a variety of calls "for the sake of the Kingdom". And, to be in a relationship which is celibate may be a sign of contradiction to the world as well as giving two people the necessary, daily support a brother and sister in Christ may give to each other. Intimacy has many faces, and the physical side of intimacy is only one aspect of relationship. I have written this to support my friends who have chosen this way and to encourage those who feel the need for companionship without sex to be comforted in that they are not alone. We are all called to be saints, and there are many ways, in Christ, through Mary, to be saints.
In addition, God did not intend people to live all alone. The fact that there are so many single, lonely individuals needs to be addressed by the Church. Those who for whatever reason cannot be a priest or nun or sister, have some options, but loneliness should not be the norm. Church communities have failed, especially in America, to support their singles. Many Catholics are singles for many reasons. There exists a judgmental attitude, which excludes those singles from the larger interaction in the Church. And, for those who desire celibacy in the world, that is an option, but it does not have to equal loneliness. I am very fortunate, as I do not experience the gnawing type of loneliness some do. I may miss my dear friends when apart from them, but that is different than the vague experience of loneliness many feel. We all need to reach out to those who feel this need, pray for them, and include them in our busy lives. To do otherwise is not to be Christian.
