When I first was re-converted, in 1971, I clearly was given a gift of a great love of the Church. The Church is my love along with Christ my Bridegroom. But, God warned me, saying, "The Bride of Christ is the Whore of Babylon." I was shocked but soon learned that I had to love the good and the bad, the faults and the virtues of those in the Church. I have never forgotten those words.
One reason I love even "fallen clergy" is that God has given me His love for these men. I love those who have fallen because I fell and there but God's grace go I. They must fact justice, but also mercy. The Church must be preserved in love and in truth.
Perhaps, some of my little sufferings can be reparation when I am finally perfected and not merely suffering for my own sins. But, I have suffered from bad monks, bad nuns, bad priests, which are all in stories involving those who betrayed me and abandoned me when I stood up for truth at a famous university, a famous seminary, a high school, an elementary school and other places. I suffered the hatred of those who hate the real Church because I love Her. Most who hated me and the truth were clergymen and nuns, as well as supposedly Catholic laity. Some people have said to me, "I am surprised you stayed Catholic after...."
I know where God is. I know where the Truth is. I know wherein is my salvation.
I have lost patience with those Catholic journalists both on and off the Net who are caught up in the adversarial spirit, which is not from God. One must transcend hatred and failure and love.
When all falls apart, we only have ourselves to blame, not others.
Here is Garrigou-Lagrange on St. Catherine:
One of the characteristics of heroic charity is to bear with great generosity the sufferings that come from those one loves. Thus saints who, like St. Catherine of Siena and St. Joan of Arc, had a great love for the Church, have also had to suffer particularly from the faults of churchmen. This suffering was in the nature of reparation.
God may ask some of you to suffer in, with, for the Church. I have said yes to this many times, but I still pray that I have the courage and strength to face the last battle.