This is the mystery of God using suffering to make the strong weak and the weak strong.
Sometimes, we are weak in some areas and strong in others. But, the truth is that we have to learn to rely on God alone.
I have been in this position for over fifteen months. To rely on others is hard for me, as I was so capable for so long. But, God undermines our false confidence in ourselves so that we come to Him in truth.
All we have comes from God and all we have is gift. The ego does not want to admit this, clinging on to what is supposedly "mine".
One does not want to get ill, or have cancer, or live in poverty, or lose loved ones, but God allows all suffering for one reason-to get rid of the ego, so that He can give us His strength and His Own Self.
For those who are weak, God gives strength beyond their imagination. For those who are strong, God brings humiliation, so that they see who they really are.
All of this movement of the spirit involves both justice and mercy. Justice comes to us so that we can atone somewhat for our sins, and make reparation. Mercy, which is the giving of compassion to someone who deserves punishment, is sheer gift. Justice is what is due to us, the reality of consequences.
At this end of a year, we can stop an thank God for His wisdom in how He moves in our lives.
May we benefit from His loving care, even if that care is intense suffering.