I have been meditating on what it is like to choose to be outside the Catholic Church.
This “vision”, purely from my imagination, connotes a dual
danger of apostasy.
When we are baptized, we enter into the Mystical Body of
Christ. We become children of God and heirs of heaven, which we are not, if we
are not baptized.
As children of God, we are to be formed into the likeness of
God by grace, which is given in the sacraments of the Church.
To turn away from all these graces is to choose a greater
suffering than God ever intended.
I see in my mind’s eye a windswept plain with hundreds of
people crawling on the hands and knees, into a darkness. All is gray and dusty,
as if these people were lost in a coal tip, a dust tip, as in the famous book, Our Mutual Friend.
When one chooses a life outside the arms of Mother Church
This scenario changes when one chooses to leave the graces
of the sacramental life.
That wind sweeping across this dusty barren waste howls with
the voices of the devils and the liars of this world.
Why would anyone choose such a life of gray futility,
setting aside the Eucharist, Confession, the Last Rites?
Another characteristic of these hundreds of people creeping
across the dust and ashes, is that they are complaining, blaming others,
events, circumstances, God, for their degradation. Such is the lot of those who
leave discernment behind. One cannot even take responsibility for one’s life,
one’s sin.
Humility would bring light, like great beacons, on this dull
plain. These beacons of light would pierce the mind and heart, allowing those
crawling nowhere to see their sins and their culpability.
But, no, these sad people choose daily to curse the goodness
which surrounds them and stay in the gloom of despondency and even, final
despair.
I remember that St. Peter and Judas committed the same sin
of betrayal, albeit, one more seriously, but betrayal none the less.
The only difference between the two men was that one became
humble through his sin and could leave the grey plains of guilt and blame,
while the other could not believe in God’s goodness, God’s love, and,
therefore, killed himself, as his soul was already dead.
I pray for those on the plain that they may have a graced
moment of light, see the beacons and stand up, leaving the others behind, and
walk towards true freedom into the love of God, Who always forgives our sins
and creates us anew daily.
During this Holy Week, pray for those Catholics who have
left the Church for the grey plains.