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Showing posts with label manners. Show all posts
Showing posts with label manners. Show all posts

Friday, 21 August 2015

Catholic Taliban


I am very concerned about some Catholic parents, most likely not anyone who reads this blog, who have decided that their home schooled girls do not need academic training or education.

I consider not teaching your girls classical education as child abuse. Western education was created by the Catholic Church through the Benedictines, Dominicans, Franciscans, and many other orders featured on this blog.

The great heritage of liberal arts education was created by the members of these orders, as were the great colleges and universities of Europe. Catholic girls should be educated so that they can attend the great Catholic colleges of our day: Thomas Aquinas, Wyoming Catholic, Christendom and so on.

That Catholic parents choose anti-intellectualism alarms me, as to be a Catholic is to be educated in the glorious disciplines created and fostered by Catholics throughout the history of the Church.

Why would parents not want their girls to learn the classics? Disciplining the mind by studying grammar, music, math, art, literature, history, geography, and, of course, religion, have been part of our Catholic culture for over a millennium.

Do these anti-intellectual Catholics, many of whom are trads and charismatics, (sharing an odd ideal which they have in common), think that God does not intend us to use our intellect?

The intellect must be developed not only for skills, for logic, for rational discourse, but for prayer. The worse sins happen in the intellect, and all Catholics must learn to fight these sins in that part of our being.

Intellectual purity does not mean the absence of intellectual studies, on the contrary. Purity of the intellect does not mean emptiness, but a working with knowledge in grace, in appropriate studies, in the virtue of studiosity. In fact, this virtue cannot be ignored without sinning.

Recall my series on the Maritains, intelligence and prayer; recall my many posts on classical education. Follow the tags.

Virtue training involves the mind, not merely the hands. Virtue training comes with developing one's intellectual gifts, which we all have at various levels as God has given us, of intellectual abilities.

To ignore the disciplines of learning to is actually interfere not only with God's plans for one's life, but essential for coming to know God.

Few saints had infused knowledge. Most learned about God through the hard study and meditation, first of Scripture, and then of reading and studying the Doctors of the Church, and the writings and sermons of the great saints.

To deny children, especially high school age girls of the beauties of knowledge is, simply, child abuse. Some parents think that these girls or young women who only know how to sew, cook, take care of children will be good wives. Absolutely not. The Catholic husband needs a help-mate even in the area of intellectual discussion.

We do not need ignorant girls and ignorant women. We need savvy women, who can teach their children all the subjects in home schools. Of course, the skills of cooking, sewing and so forth can also be accomplished. All these skills can be learned well easily. Getting a higher degree does not mean one does not know how to cook or sew or can tomatoes. Many of us did all these things, and more. We made candles, soap, went back to the basics in household duties, and still managed to learn various academic subjects.

We learned how to properly entertain for visitors, and we learned womanly manners. We also learned that to be a woman meant learning our heritage, culture, faith.

Look at the writings of the great Teresa of Avila, Therese of Lisieux, Hildegard of Bingen, Catherine of Siena.

We have in the Church, these women,  who are Doctors of the Church, not because they could cook and sew, but because they could pray, write, advise people, even popes. They knew the Scriptures, and much theology, as well a music.

To ignore the glories of our own culture, the Catholic culture, amounts to choosing anti-intellectualism and becoming a Catholic Taliban. Ignoring the intellect of young women does not prepare them for sainthood, but for stunted growth, and possibly, rebellion.


Sunday, 21 July 2013

How not to express yourselves




I like to twitter and read blogs, but one thing I have noticed in the past few weeks are the number of Catholic and Christian under 40s who think nothing of using all the four letter words.

They seem not to be shocked by the use of s..t, f.., d..n, bl...y, and many other words.

How did this happen? Because I am an ex-teacher of youth, I have thought about this phenomenon and have come up with several answers to the question of why the decay of expression-and this is a phenomenon in England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland, Ireland, and America.

One, the decline of education, the dumbing down of standards has led to a lack of understanding of language, literature, and poetry.

Two, the decline/dumbing down has meant that vocabulary is no longer taught in the schools, which is sad.

Three, few love the English language and see the beauty of such a large vocabulary.

Four, laziness.

Five, spoiled brat syndrome-Mum or Dad never corrected mouthy kids. No discipline.

Six, a false idea of tolerance.

Seven, parents not teaching children manners or appropriate behaviour. No character formation.

Eight, the loss of the idea that coarseness is actually a sin-yes, a sin against charity.

Nine, spoiled brat syndrome reason two-no one can tell me how to talk.

Ten, the effect of entertainment on the culture.

Eleven, wanting to be IN.

Twelve, obvious disrespect for authority, elders, hierarchies.

I am so tired of blocking spoiled brats on twitter. Language does not seem to matter to them-so why tweet?

Using four letter words is also a sign of idiocy, not sophistication.

Blocking away....

Repeat post on manner and character formation

Thursday, 6 December 2012

My dance card is full and young people will not believe this

Talk about generation gaps. The construction of my society growing up is gone, gone, gone. From education to social manners, to identity as a Catholic sub-culture, we had a security in knowing who we were and where we were going.

Talking with Generation Millennials, I have realized over the past few years that what I had for coursework in 7th and 8th grade they had in high school and what I had in high school they have in college or university. What I had in college or university, they get in graduate school.




Depressing. When I was in high school, schools were divided into "terminal degree" high schools and "college preparatory schools". In the second grouping, the high schools were run on three tracks, and students were placed in this tracking according to their interests and abilities. Terminal degree high schools actually taught a skill, such as welding, accounting or business skills, and things where a student could walk out the door and get a job immediately.

In those days, we knew that people were not created the same. I do not have my high school curriculum in front of me, but it would be similar to this. This would be the top layer, or third track of the college prep school. All girls, by the way----

First year-freshman year
Logic
Civics (general and American)
World History first semester; European History second semester
Geography
Algebra I and possibly II
Latin I
English Literature-first semester general; second Shakespeare
English Grammar
Religion-Old Testament first semester; New Testament Second
General Science
Extra-Curricular Studies, such as journalism, choir, art
Sport and Gym Class

Second year-sophomore
Ethics (wow)
Latin II
American History first adn second semester; America Government in more detail second as option
English Literature-Essays-including 18th century ones; second semester Poetry including Shakespeare's sonnets and Mystical Poets
Composition first semester; speech and debate second
Biology all year
Geometry I and II
Religion-Church History, both semesters, but staring with a sacraments section
Extra-Curricular studies, such as choir, drama, art or journalism or all
Sport and Gym Class

Third Year-juniors
Advanced Math I and II; either Trig or another option independent studies; Algebra II; some in Pre-Calculus
French I
Religion- great Catholic thinkers; world religions
Contemporary History (usually from WWI to present)
Chemistry
Extra-curricular choices again including Drama class, choir or above
Sport and Gym Class
English Literature of the Modern Age-novels and poetry
(Optional Typing)
(Optional Driver Training)


One also took college entrance tests in junior year for applying for scholarships. We had up to four hours of homework per night. Ask my dad.

Fourth Year-seniors
Independent studies in History
Advanced Math-Calculus
Religion-marriage prep; modern issues such as Vat. II
Physics, optional
French II
English Literature-drama and world drama; debate as advanced options
Extra-curricullar again like drama or choir or aboves
Free time to take college courses for credit
Research skills
Intro to Philosophy
Sport and Gym

We had some choices for sport.

I may be forgetting something. The mathematics classes varied after Geometry. I took Algebra II and my brothers went way ahead of me in Trig, Pre-Calc and Calc. etc. We had options. I was the feature editor of the newspaper and teen editor for the local city newspaper. I did almost everything-choir, drama, etc.  Yes, we had uniforms very similar to those below except we had to wear black or brown shoes--- and no, I was not a cheerleader.

We were allowed to seek excellence.


Ah, social skills. For our first dances, we had little booklets on which to write who was dancing which dance with us. They had little ribbons so that we could wear them around our wrist and there is a photo of a young girl with one. We called them dance cards. In my Grandmothers' days, these were silver and gold. 

This custom is where the phrases, "pencil me in" comes from....and "my dance card is full."

We had formal and informal dances. We had teas. We had picnics which were planned. We did not have much fast-food. Pizza Hut opened in my home town when I was 16. That was where I went on my first date, with the neighbour boy and his friend who tagged along. I remember exactly what I wore-a white top with large black polka dots and a black skirt;  and the date: January 1, 1965. I turned 16 two days later. My parents had known the parents of that boy since before I was born, and we played together even as toddlers. Still, permission had to be sought and granted. That was how the culture was disciplined and set. It was all very comforting. There was no stress as most people in those stratifications has so much in common to make such socializing relaxed. And, we had no idea about sex. We could just be ourselves, and learn to use our manners, and wait.

Manners helped us, as well as the truly Christian character of the culture at the time. 

The list, taken from the website below, is what we learned naturally in all of these events. We even learned sports etiquette. We went roller skating and ice skating. We played foursomes in tennis. We did not go shopping for fun. That was not done then. One shopped with one's mom. Two of my girls friends had to go shopping with their dad, as he had to approve their clothes. He was an Italian dad. My dad would not be caught dead in a ladies' shop. Good thing, too.


EVERYDAY MANNERS
  • First impressions
  • Introductions
  • Greeting and shaking hands
  • Paying and receiving compliments
  • Correspondence
  • Telephone manners
  • Family dining
  • Table manners
  • Polite conversation
  • When to rise
  • Doors and coats
  • Sports etiquette
FORMAL MANNERS
  • Formal dining
  • Party courtesies
  • Hosting a party
  • Receiving lines
  • Eating unusual foods
  • Instructional dinners

CHARACTER EDUCATION
  • Honesty
  • Integrity
  • Promise keeping
  • Fidelity
  • Caring
  • Respect
  • Citizenship
  • Excellence
  • Accountability
  • Handling peer pressure

All the dances had adults present: the nuns and our parents were chaperones. Sometimes the priests came for a short while. All the parents knew all the other parents in your track, mostly. Dating was strictly controlled by parents. Boys were very polite. My dad reminds me of the Friday night I had one young man at the front day, one at the back door, and one on the phone. I was not that popular. I had a pink Princess phone and a turquoise blue transistor radio with a matching leather case--trendy.  We had plays, concerts, football, basketball, track, wrestling, and all kinds of things. We had cotillions to go to and strict rules on dating regarding times and frequency. We did things in groups. We sang when we went out in groups. We dated in order to find a mate. Mom and Dad were part of the process of dating.


Sunday, 28 April 2013

On Catholic Identity Again


From experience and reflection, I want to share some thoughts on what Catholic identity is and is NOT.

Bear with me while I outline a few ideas here. This is not an exhaustive list and much is repetition  However, one cannot say these things too often.

My mom used this and so did I and there was another one for Lent and Easter.


Firstly, remember that I am old enough to remember what Catholic identity was in the 1950s and 1960s. I have a few posts on the old days of organized community and parish life which most people have never experienced. These ideals can be reinvigorated.

I used this all the time


Everyone knew everyone in the 12% of Catholics in our city of 80% Lutherans and a few Presbyterians.

The Catholic community was not only strong, but vigorous before Vatican II.

Choirs, charities, youth groups, adult study groups, (yes, including Bible study), women and men's groups all happened before the seventies.

Secondly, Catholic identity starts in the home. This identity takes work. Sadly, so many converts who have never experienced mothers baking special cakes for holy days, or name days (saints' days) or having small home devotions do not know what this entails. Christmas customs have been largely lost, as well as Easter ones.

In the 1950s, the parish priest went from home to home and consecrated the families and house to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Usually, there were pictures on the wall bought for this occasion  one of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and one of the pierced heart of Mary. Because of the number of priests, the parish priests could visit houses for sick calls as well. We would meet the priest at the door with lit candles as he brought the Eucharist to the sick person. Every house had a sick call set, and I did as well.













The family rosary was said in our house when I was young in October and May. This custom dwindled later on, but I remember this, and my son remembers his parents praying the rosary out loud at night when he was a baby.

Catholic identity meant studying and my parents did this as well in parish groups. I remember the first meetings which involved using the St. John's Collegeville bible series (some are not so good, and some are). To say that Catholics did not read the Bible is a huge overstated lie.

Fourthly, Catholic identity involved modesty, about which I have many posts, and also a decorum, about which I have written as well on this blog. Catholic children learned to be ladies and gentlemen. We were counter-cultural in our behavior. This was all part and still should be part of the life of the virtues for the formation of children.
A 1950s girls' Catholic choir

Fifthly, Catholic identity meant going to Confession regularly as a family on Saturdays. Daily Mass, if possible, and the awareness that the sanctifying grace of the sacraments was necessary for supernatural life was passed down from mom and dad.

Sixthly, Catholic identity did NOT include dissent, but solemn questioning and examining and finally, conformity with the teaching of the Church at the adult level. It also involved missionary activity with the realization that we had to convert the world, as Jesus commanded. This was not seen as a option or non-politically correct attitude.
From The Mission



What Catholic identity is NOT are these few points.

Firstly, Catholic identity is not part time, but full time. One does not have a split personality of being Catholic at home and secular at work, for example.

Secondly, Catholic identity is not an identity of negativity or argumentation. In other words, it is being for the Church and not merely against the prevailing culture or other religions. A person who identities themselves in negativity or argument will never grow spiritually.

Thirdly, Catholic identity is not the proliferation of devotions, visionaries, medals or statues one collects, but a conforming of the mind to the mind of the Church. Too many people here in England (and some in Malta) think that in order to be Catholic one has to believe any new so-called revelations. Absolutely not.

Even the writings of the visionaries who are saints are not infallible.

Fourthly, Catholic identity is NOT automatic, simply because one's family is Catholic or one's surroundings. It is an interior disposition to holiness and putting  on the Mind of Christ, which is the mind of the Church. As an Irish priest reminded me not too long ago, the Irish loss of faith was a long time happening owing to the lack of adult appropriation of the faith-no study and no effort leads to secular attitudes.

Nuns passing guards on the way to see Pope Pius XII’s body. Photograph by Mark Kauffman. Rome, Italy, October 1958.

Lastly, Catholic identity is NOT being more Catholic than Rome. Extremist groups on both the left and right cannot be truly Catholic, as the Church is one, holy, true and apostolic, and therefore solidly balanced. To fall into liberal camps, such as being a socialist, which one cannot be and be Catholic, or to fall into far-right camps which add teachings to those of the Church, such as cultic dress or following false seers, are not part of Catholic identity but errors of modernism and gnosticism.

I could add more points, but most of these things I have discussed here on this blog in the past. I shall only add that Catholic identity means teaching your children the Faith in season and out of season.




Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Can we sign up men we know? From William Hanson's Site


3-Day Modern Manners for Men Course

William leads this interactive 3-day course will give the gentlemen who attend a firm understanding and practical knowledge of modern manners and basic housekeeping skills they need for the fast-paced world.

Day One

Introductions
Introducing yourself
Introducing others
Handshakes
Social kissing
How to handle bad introductions
What to do when you don't catch their name
Networking & communications
Modern Table Manners
The place setting
Cutlery/flatware
Glassware
Napkin placement
Common mistakes
Eating tricky foods
Customs and nuances around the world
Tipping
Entertaining
For business
For pleasure
Budget and menus
Food & wine pairing
Basic wine skills
Communication - Verbal & Non-Verbal
IT, mobiles & iPhones
Social networking
Thank you letters
Business correspondence and emails

Day Two

The Art of Shaving
First impressions
Image
Grooming
Deportment & posture
The Modern Gentleman's wardrobe - codes, colours and style
Tie tying 101
Presentation skills
Finding your voice
Content
Posture and stance
Working with PowerPoint
Delivery
Vocal exercises
Self defence
This session is always popular and is, sadly, crucial for modern living. Lead by professional safety coach Amanda Wilson, the gentlemen will leave the class with the knowledge of how to defend themselves in a difficult situation.
Good Housekeeping
Laundry skills
Ironing: shirts, trousers and sheets
Shoe-care
Basic cookery skills
Cocktails & wine appreciation

Day Three

Business Etiquette
CVs and covering letters
Interviews
Introducing clients
Answering the telephone
Titles & correct form
Entering an office: where and when to sit
A businessman's props
Accepting gifts
Integrating yourself with the office
Dress codes
Students will be taken to a leading gentlemen's outfitters, and talked through the different formal dress codes
Cultural tour of Chester
Chester is an ancient city and was a major port in Roman times so there is a wealth of Roman relics, including an amphitheatre and the original city walls. It is also famous for its unique 'rows' which date back to Tudor times.