Purity of Intention

When you are around someone who seems "nice", and you get that icky feeling that they are using you for his or her own gratification, you are experiencing a lack of purity of intention on that person's part. Manipulation is the opposite of purity of intention.

Because of certain occurrences in my recent past, the idea of purity of intention has been brought to my attention. In a nice moment of synchronicity, Father Rodriguez, in Volume I of his masterpiece, The Practice of Christian and Religious Perfection, which I have been following on this blog for many days, writes several chapters on purity of intention.

Weekly in the Monastic Diurnal, one prays that God would heal and destroy all hidden sins. Impurity of intention qualifies as such a hidden sin. This sin reveals itself to the mind when one asks God to purge one of hidden sins.

Starting with what purity of intention is not may be easier than describing what this manner of thinking is. As in all sins which lie mostly in the interior life, such as vainglory and pride, impurity of heart needs to be rooted out through reflection and the grace of seeing this sin when it occurs.

Some examples may help. If a person loves someone and wants that person to return that love, one may act in a charitable and charming manner. However, to love without regard for return forms the definition of real and sacrificial love. Love with “hooks” reveals an impurity of intention. If one is charitable because giving allows one to feel good and think one is virtuous, that is impurity of intention.

If I wrote this blog for attention, for fame (lol) rather than to teach Catholic truth and help bring my brothers and sisters closer to God, that would be a lack of purity of intention.

And, so on.

Fr. Rodriguez notes that the superiors in religious orders, such as the Jesuits, have been severe on small faults, just as the Desert Fathers were with their novices. Why? In these small things, one sees the hidden sins.

Yesterday, I told someone something about my life which I did not need to do. It was an off-comment which I did not need to say, drawing attention to something good in my life. This small comment revealed to me the sin of vainglory. When I was in Tyburn, we novices were not allowed to share anything of our past lives. I got in trouble one day for sharing at what I called “recess”, the forty-five daily minutes when one could relax with the other nuns and talk, that I had been a teacher. Later on, one of the older nuns took me aside and told me that in the convent the past life is completely forgotten, and that one never refers to the past except to the novice mistress in private.

This lesson reveals a consciousness of purity of intention, as there is no reason to discuss past deeds or past accomplishments, all leading to vainglory. Purity of intention allows one to live in the present moment, to respond to the now, not the past, nor the future.

Father Rodriguez quotes the book of Revelation, in the pericope where Christ addresses the Church of Sardis, as being active, as showing forth works, but inside, the interior life of that community, being dead. Those who have followed this blog for years remember my many posts on St. Catherine of Siena and her exhortation to build a little cell in one's mind where one can retreat in peace and contemplation of God. As the good priest reminds the reader, Catherine had to work in the kitchen of her own home, as punishment for refusing to get married, after the parents purposefully dismissed the cook-slave, so that Catherine would submit to their wishes. She then learned to create a small space in her mind, despite the heavy duties of cooking for a well-to-do household, with many demands, seeing in her parents, Joseph and Mary, and seeing her own role at serving Christ while in the kitchen. She learned purity of intention through the retreat into her little cell of the spirit.

Purity of intention seems like a rare virtue these days, as so many people do things out of gross manipulation. People seem to crave the love of other people to the point where they cannot act out of sheer freedom, but only with expectations.

Father Rodriguez quotes both St. Paul and St. Ignatius Loyola in focusing on the goal of all actions, all thoughts, and that is the greater glory of God, the motto of the Jesuits. When one has God's glory in mind daily, His Will, then purity of intentions as a virtue grows and grows. When one is focused on God, one does things for His Kingdom, His Glory, not one's own.

Before I do something, I stop and think, “Is this action for God's glory?” “Will this action bring me closer to Christ?” Distractions and negligences, notes Rodriguez, come from a lack of purity of intention, an impurity of intention. As a clue to defeating distractions, he refers to the passage in Ezekiel on the “great, holy living creatures” who held their hands under their wings in the vision of the prophet. These angelic beings show us that our actions fall under the interior life of contemplation, that Martha and Mary work together, as Rodriguez notes.

One's exterior life follows the interior.

Purity of intention will yield good fruit, and lead to the practicing of more virtues, such as humility. Purity of intention absolutely leads to detachment. As in one chapter, Rodriguez in quoting St. Ignatius, explains that one can be detached from one's work in bringing souls to Christ, in helping others become holy.

Ignatius compares the work of his priests to those of the guardian angels, who teach, instruct, excite to virtue, counsel, lead to good works and defend their persons under their care. But, if those persons do not respond to the guidance of the angels, these angels do not weep, but rejoice in God, in glory, understanding that all men and women have free will, as they do, (although their wills are now set in glorifying God from their one moment of assent, just as the devils chose the opposite way once and for all), and move on, letting the person given to them go his or her own way, as a sick person who refuses to be cured, (and I know one person like that right now in my circle of acquaintances, who freely refuses to get well).

The angels do not weep for lost souls. The reason is that they are doing the Will of God constantly and rejoice in purity of intention, purity of intellect and spirit.

Father Rodriguez writes of an interesting anecdote about which I have never read in the past. He states that St. James only converted eight or nine people in Spain on his missionary travels. Yet, his work did not please God any less than the greater successes of the other apostles, nor did it take away from his merit. The actions he performed, the teaching and preaching, the prayers and intercessions, were done out of purity of intention—all for the glory of God.

When I was in graduate school, in each of my own books, I wrote the Jesuit motto, ad majorem Dei gloriam, all for the glory of God, next to my name in the front of my books. This was a daily reminder that all my s studies were not for my own glory, but for God's glory. Nothing else matters.

There are three sins, imho, which plague hypocrites. One is vainglory, taking on the glory due to God for themselves; one is a liberal interpretation of the Law, (see my post on this); and one is impurity of thought, or impurity of intentions. The hidden sins, by far, are the worst ones and the one which take great attention in expulsion from one's heart, mind, soul. Ask God to show you the hidden sins, as one does in the daily prayers of the Church.

In Sunday's Terce, Sext and None, the Psalms remind one of the love of meditating on the law of God, both natural and revealed, and on keeping His commandments, as well as seeking purity of heart.

One of the verses and responses point to this prayer for purity:

“From my secret sins cleanse me, O Lord. And from strange evils spare Thy servant.”

How to prepare for being a martyr--Part Two

Part One was on the blog yesterday.

http://supertradmum-etheldredasplace.blogspot.com/2015/04/how-to-prepare-for-being-martyr.html

Nothing comes easily in the spiritual life. Those who think that the saints, because of an excess of grace experienced little suffering need only read the great autobiographies of the holiest who have gone before us.

For the past week, I have shared a few of Father Alphonsus Rodriguez thoughts and counsels on the virtue of humility. My decision for highlighting this virtue must be seen in the context of four things: one's salvation; perfection; the times in which we live; and the coming synod.

Not only must we acquire, through practice and diligence the virtue of humility through prayer and practice for the sake of becoming perfect, on order to be with God after death, but to actually acquire the merits needed for salvation. The acceptance of humiliating situations involves not only the purification of the senses and the spirit, but the very call to salvation. To become meek and humble forms the basis of the Christian life, but these virtues remain misunderstood.

Meekness may mean speaking the truth to family members about sin. Humility may mean removing one's self from family gatherings which cause sins, such as gluttony or drunkenness, or gossip. But, humility may also mean standing up firmly for the beliefs of the Catholic Church, which are the truths taught in the Catholic Church.

Yesterday, a protestantized Catholic gave me an almost hateful tirade about the wealth of the Church in Europe. I tried to steer the conversation to the fact that great cathedrals and basilicas did not necessary mean worldly wealth, but the person could not understand latria, worship including beauty, which is due to God. The person could not understand why the Vatican did not support seminarians in America and why Americans had to pay for the training of their own priests. I tried to explain that this had always been done on the local level, and that vocations come out of parishes and dioceses which support vocations.

His problem was a lack of humility regarding the Church. Why? If one is humble enough to admit that the duty of supporting vocations is local, and that if it is not happening there are sins at the local level which stop vocations from flourishing, one is not looking at personal sin or the sins of the community.

To think, first of all, that the Church is rich, reveals a rebellious protestant iconoclasm. The European Catholic Church, except in Germany, where there exists the church tax, is extremely poor.

But, pride always points to the sins of others instead of to one's own sins. I could not convince this man that the lack of vocations was due to bad parenting, contraception, and, yes, miserliness towards the Church, not the lack of financial support from Rome. His pride blocked his ability to think clearly. I could not impress upon him the need for looking at local problems in the Church.

Humility gives one self-knowledge. People are beginning to panic about the lack of vocations, and things will get worse when priests are fined and jailed for not performing so called gay marriages, but until the laity take responsibility for the crisis of vocations, nothing will change.

I use this example for two reasons-one to show the falseness of the American and liberal Catholic mindset that is one throws money at a problem, that problem will disappear; again, exterior change is not interior conversion. And, two, to indicate that too many Catholics see the crises in the Church as someone else problem, not theirs. These attitudes reflect a serious lack of humility and meekness, which would cause a person to first look at their own sins, and completely disregard the sins of others.

This is the problem I have with some commentators on line. To keep looking at the evils of such and such a cardinal or priest will not change the crises in the Church. This brings me to the third point of the times in which we live. Unless we practice humility to the point of being joyful under duress and painful circumstances, the Church in certain areas will disappear.

For years, I have predicted swaths of land in the US without dioceses, bishops, priests, Masses. Once priests are fined and dioceses will have to sell schools, churches, land, and as soon as some bishops and priests are placed in jail, there will be no sacraments.

How does one remain in sanctifying grace without the sacraments?

Humility.

Imagine not being able to get to confession but once a year. Imagine having Mass only three or four times a year. Imagine not being able to get married as there are no priests. Imagine not being able to have public rosaries, Adoration, processions, even Catholic art in your community. Imagine the stress of having to avoid mortal sin and working on venial sin without holy books or holy priests, or confessors.

Imagine not having the Last Rites, or Masses said for your soul in purgatory.

This is coming.

The only virtue which will help us all get through these times until God calls us home is humility.

To pray daily, to avoid temptation, to work on venial sins, to allow God to perfect one must happen NOW.

Do not pass up any opportunities to go to daily Mass.

I have lived for almost four months without daily Mass. In this time, it is the merits of the four months before of going to daily Mass which has sustained me. Imagine not having the Mass for six or eight months.

This has all happened before in Mexico, in England, in Spain, in the Middle East, in Africa.

It will happen here.

At this time in history, God needs the Church Militant to be full of saints committed to humility.

Moving on to the last point, on the Synod, all the problems we see there relate to a lack of humiity, not only among the clerics who push to change the Church's long teaching, which comes from Christ, on marriage, but from those proud laity who do not want to admit they are living in sin.

Self-knowledge brings the humility to say, “I cannot receive Christ because I am in sin. I need to change.”

The greatest evil in the world at this time is the tolerance of great sins-adultery, sodomy and greed. Until the laity in all humility beg God for His forgiveness in the toleration of these evils, in ourselves, in our families, in others, the tribulation will become worse for the members of the remnant who have humble themselves before God, and live in fear and trembling for their particular judgment.

The pride of prelates who see the Church as a numbers game, to gain money in certain countries, also reveals a lack of humility. The desire for money, and the comforts which money brings, kills humility.

People ask me, as a pre-Vatican II person who remembers well the daily Tridentine life and the Catholic ethnic cultures which supported the Church what the biggest difference was in those days to now.

The answer is simple. People were more humble, because they were poorer. People relied on God, and lived lives of simple contentment with much, much less material goods than now.

Consumerism killed the soul of America, leading to the abortion law, and now the enshrining of unnatural sex and lust into law.

Only a humble Church, which cries out to God for mercy and forgiveness for the sins of the nation will survive the coming persecution.

Christ promised that His Church will last until He comes again, but maybe, not in Springfield, not in Illinois, not in the Midwest, not east of the Mississippi, not in America.

The great Jesuit saints traveled to lands where they were seen an enemies of the state, such as China, Japan, or even the native America nations. They were hated, but what kept them true to their call and the Gospel was humility.

We need, in this time, a renewal of the Jesuit Order. We need the type of men who came to the north woods of New York, to Paraguay, to Japan, to England, knowing they would be martyred after much torture.

We need to adopt this attitude of facing the worst pain with equanimity in order to spread the Gospel of Christ.

I think people have two choices at this time-to join a monastic community and adopt Benedictine spirituality as I noted in a post several weeks ago, or to become Jesuit in spirituality, daily working on perfection and learning to live in courage with humility.

These two rules of life were created for times of persecution. One rule demands perfection among communities separate from the world, communities praying for the world. The other demands perfection in the world, in the midst of the worst anti-Catholicism possible.

Pray for a Jesuit heart. Some are called to be in the world and fight the good fight by converting others despite great persecution. I challenge parents to raise children according to the Jesuit method of education, noted on this blog, and in the daily Examen.

Raise saints, Parents.

Become saints, Single People

But all to all of us, I say that the only way forward is through the living out of the virtue of humility.

Starting Sunday, a new theme.

A Few Important Points from Rodriguez

How do we know we have the virtue of humility or any virtues?

In a superb chapter in Vol. II of Rodriguez, on pp. 184-186, the good priest shares several good points on signs as to whether we have acquired the virtue of humility. I sincerely hope that people can make the connections between these points and the looming time of tribulation.

First of all, is the virtue comes easily, it is truly a habit. If one must strive to be humble, and work on the thoughts which precede a humble action, one has not yet made this virtue a habit.

Perfection of humility just happens after the time of purgation. When one is purified, God gives grace for the virtues to be released and one can work on these, in order to form a habit.

Second, Rodriguez states that even when one is asleep, and has troubling temptations, thoughts, or images which are sinful or could lead to sin, in the dream itself, one reacts in fighting these and feels the discomfort of impending sign. That one can get upset in a nasty dream is a clear sign that one has made humility habitual. Again, if one is dreaming and in a situation of persecution and one is reacting with peace, calm, reticence in speech and such, one is making humility habitual.

Third, in acts of virtue, even in the actions of the virtue of humility, one feels a pleasure, a delight in these being performed. For example,  if one is treated with contempt, one feels a soft, quiet joy in this happening. If this reaction happens consistently, one is mastering the virtue of humility.

Rodriguez quotes St. Dorotheus, "The ancient fathers held for a constant maxim, that what the mind does not joyfully embrace cannot be of any continuance."

How true. One can have moments of breakthrough with regard to the virtue of humility, such as a moment of joy when one is accused of something one did not do, but it is only in the day-by-day living of this habit which shows that one has come into a deep state of humility.

As to prayer, contemplation, (not meditation, which is different, and see past blogs on this), becomes natural to the soul which is humble. When contemplation, as Rodriguez notes, "comes from the bottom of one's heart" and not from effort, one has been humbled.

Fourth, if one takes delight in obeying the laws of God, both natural and revealed, one is walking in humility.

Rodriguez quotes Psalm 1: 2-3. And, prosperity does not mean that one will have a materially comfortable life on earth, but will see the fruit of a life of virtue in heaven.

Psalm 1:2-3New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

2 but their delight is in the law of the Lord,
    and on his law they meditate day and night.
3 They are like trees
    planted by streams of water,
which yield their fruit in its season,
    and their leaves do not wither.
In all that they do, they prosper.

How to prepare for being a martyr

Self-knowledge occurs in three places most commonly: in one's family, first of all, where one finds one's self living with those whom one did not choose to live, those with whom one may find have nothing in common with each other, besides blood and lineage.

The second place would be at work, wherein one must either lead others in justice and mercy, or be obedient and humble to those above one.

The third place is in community. Those religious who choose community understand the day to day rubbing off of sins, both obvious and those hidden, causing one to face one's self, and not run away from one's reflection as seen in the faces of those around one.

Religious life is more perfect, in that it is set up to obtain holiness and sanctity quickly, through the ancient tried and true rules of the various orders. Fr. Rodriguez refers to the rule of St. Ignatius of Loyola, of course, being a Jesuit counselor and spiritual director. He notes that one who does not seek self-knowledge is like an ugly woman refusing to look in a mirror. Rodriguez, like me, loves St. Bernard of Clairvaux, and uses his works extensively in the three volume book I have been following for weeks, The Practice of Christian Perfection. Those of us who fear self-knowledge do so because we honestly do not believe in the love and mercy of God, Who waits for us to be honest, so that He can show us the depths of His love. The first step, as we have seen, in the multi-step way to humility of St. Bonaventure, the one chosen by Rodriguez, is that of self-knowledge. Part of this first step is proper self-hatred.

In our society of narcissism and feeling good about ourselves, self-hatred is misunderstood as a loathing of existence, a denial that one is a child of God and heir of heaven, if one is baptized, and a creature of God owing God laud and honor, if one is not baptized. This lack of self-knowledge of who one is before God, either a lowly creature or an adopted son and daughter, lead to a false self-hatred, which the atheists see simply in terms of nihilism and fate.

What the saints mean by self-hatred cannot be confused with this false sense of disgust of being human, but with the sense of disgust against sin, whether Original, mortal, or venial.

A real test of whether one hates one's self in a good way is how one reacts to two things—the first is allowing someone to make a statement with which you disagree and let it go. One does not have to be right, or correct, or in the position of challenging everything. The second way one recognizes self-love rearing its ugly head is how one reacts to suggestions done in kindness, not in malice. But, this last response, how one reacts to malice, reveals truly if one is humble or not.

Recently, I was accused of something which was not true. I listened to the person and corrected their apprehension. When it was clear that the real conversation was about something else, a hurt deep down inside that person who was reacting to me as if I were another person, in other words, projecting something onto me which was not there, I backed down and agreed with this person and asked forgiveness. Although his perception was incorrect, what I should have thought of at first, and did not, was that I deserve all corrections, good or bad, true or false, and more, for my sins, both past and present. Also, the person was hurt from years of sins against him. I could have been less concerned about my own being in the right, and more concerned about his suffering. The fact that the person was hurt and could not see the real problem did not matter. God would take care of that in His Own time. I only had to be humble. I muffed this opportunity for a perfect response and pray for the grace to learn again this lesson of humility. Those who hate their own selves would have responded immediately in humility and grace. Thus, God showed me how far I was from true self-loathing.

We come into this world in Original Sin, which is enough to cause us to be humble, needing baptism and God's grace, His mercy won on the Cross and passed to us through the sacraments of the Church.

We sin, mortally, which kills the soul and earns one hell, and venially, which weakens the soul and stops the life of virtue from coming to fruition. There are very few people who have gone through the purification necessary for freedom from venial sin, and from concupiscence, which is possible, as I have noted in other recent posts. How far I am from this goal, but daily I beg God for these graces.

When one finally recognizes one's predominant fault, then the real cleansing begins. Father Rodriguez shares a charming but poignant story of Brother Giles, the follower of St. Francis. On hearing of the fall of the great Father Elias, who was excommunicated because of his support of the Emperor Frederick II, even though Father Elias was superior of the Franciscans. Brother Giles threw himself on the ground, face down for a long time. Finally, he was asked why he was literally clinging to the earth. He replied that as Father Elias had fallen from a great height, he, Giles, wanted to stay as close as possible to the lowly earth.

I shall keep this story in mind. God saved me over and over from receiving praise and high positions. I complained to Him years ago about me not being able to use my talents at a university, with a doctorate, and so on. He reminded me that He protected me from losing my soul, by allowing me to not climb the academic ladder, and that I should be grateful to be unseen, unknown, hidden.

In this state, I find I am most peaceful and have the joy of knowing that God protected me from a great fall of pride. I cling to the lowly dirt of the Midwest, again, about as hidden and lowly a place as I have ever lived. But, here, in the little chapel of St. Mary of the Angels and Martyrs, in Ephesus, I have an assurance of God's Mercy in my life.

Like Brother Giles, I cling to the grass, the earth, not desiring at all to be praised or even noticed.

One prays more effectively in hiddenness and contentment.

Again, Rodriguez shares another famous mythical story of Hercules overcoming Anteus, the giant. Rodriguez quotes Gerson in noting that whenever Anteus was smacked to the ground by Hercules, the giant gained strength, as he was a son of the earth. Hercules finally figured this out and held Anteus up high, squeezing him to death. Gerson states that this is what the devil does to us, holds us up high through the praise and esteem of men, so that he can overcome us with pride.

St Anselm, notes Rodriguez, that this second step of humility, is to suffer contempt with patience, meekness, humility. The Jesuit refers to Laurence Justinian, who wrote that humility is like a river, which is full in the winter, when things are difficult and rough, but low in the summer, as humility “decreases in prosperity and increases in adversity.”

I have been criticized on this blog by commentators in the past for being poor and asking for help, and yet, my confessor told me to be humble and ask for help. Whether people respond is their business, but mine is to be humble and ask for what I need. People do not like those who ask, as it means they have to respond, yay or nay. But, those who have been allowed by God to be the lowly of the earth must live in the hope of God's Providence, through the charity of others. So lived many of the saints throughout the ages, not hating their poverty, but loving it, as it caused them to not only suffer from want, but to be despised by men, and women. This is actually the fourth step of humility, to desire to be despised by other people, but I get ahead of myself at this juncture and go back.

Anselm states that we do not have to go out of our way to seek humble situations, but that God will bring these to us, if He pleases.

So, what does this have to do with times of tribulation, a thought I interject before going on to the third step of humility?

Simple. Can you not become angry when people abuse you to your face? Can you remain in peace when you are spurned because of your beliefs as a Catholic? Can you face the criticisms and even being ostracized by those in your own family with equanimity and peace?

Can you handle negativity when standing up to the truth of the real definition of marriage, known through both natural law and revealed law? Can you stand peacefully in the midst of Sodom and Gomorrah and live your faith completely, without dissembling?

Can you be in love with the Church so much, as the Bride of Christ, to uphold Her teachings despite public disdain?

Can you sacrifice the approval of the majority in order to follow Christ fully?

And can you do this in peace, without any anger or complaint?

Then, you have acquired humility.

Can you remain peaceful when someone above you demands something in an imperious tone, or when someone misunderstands your good intentions?

To this level of holiness God is calling all of us.

The third step may be the most difficult. Rodriguez, using the levels of St. Boniface, regards not responding to the praise and esteem of others as this most interesting step. Detachment helps greatly with this step.

The other day I met a woman about my age who had succeeded in all the ways I did not in my life. She had her doctorate in British Literature, taught at a prestigious university for years, traveled back and forth to England, (and still does) at leisure to visit wonderful places I know and love. She has a great pension, a lovely house, a happy marriage, and can live in other countries part of the year. And, when I spoke to her of my interruptions in my career, I did not feel less fortunate. I am completely without envy or desire, as God has shown me the way of humility, of being unknown, of not having, not acquiring, not being loved daily by a good spouse, and so on. I felt a joy welling up that I belonged to God and that nothing on this earth mattered except what brings me closer to Him.

She has her way to God and I have mine. Divine Providence decides all things. I shall not be praised or esteemed in the academic community, ever. But, all that is passing. Now, as pointed out by Rodriguez in Psalm 87, I do not want to be praised as that causes me confusion. In fact, I may be punished by God, as St. Augustine notes, in this volume, because praise takes away from merit, the merit of humility. Indeed, I do not ever want to be praised, but only seen by God as doing my duty.

In the fourth step of humility, Father Rodriguez quotes at length my favorite, St. Bernard of Clairvaux. One may look at all the tags on this blog relating to this talented, saintly man. A charismatic leader with gifts including the counsel given to popes, St. Bernard knew what it meant to attain humility. God allowed him to be ill, which seems to be a common denominator of many great saints and Doctors of the Church. One thinks of Therese of Lisieux and St. Teresa of Avila, who experienced illnesses. Today, especially in America, the ill are looked down upon by the healthy. The cult of youth and health discriminates against the old and those with illnesses. One “should not be ill” in the States.

But, St. Bernard knew that the fourth step, which is to desire that men despise one, indicated that one had truly obtained humility. Rodriguez quotes St. Bernard on the two types of humility.

The first may be described as the one common to men and women who follow the steps indicated so far. People who see their sins and know who they are before God and man have this type of humility. But, as St. Bernard noted, Christ could not have this type of humility, as He was One with the Trinity. He knew He was God, and, therefore, He could not see Himself as lowly, as a sinner. But, the second type of humility Christ could endure and choose, which He did for our sake.

This second type is humility of the will and the heart. Philippians 2:7 tells us that Christ chose to be humbled, even to death on the Cross. This is chosen humility of the will and heart, and we can choose this as well.

I have a dear friend who cannot accept Christ as God because he cannot accept that God would become a human being. For him, Christ is the stumbling block to joining the Catholic Church. How could God, Who is All Perfect, All Good, All Beauty, All Truth, and Spirit, take on human flesh and all that means?

Yet, this is what Christ did choose out of love for us. Pray for my dear friend to accept that Christ became Man and still remained God.

Rodriguez writes about several examples of Christ's humility but one is letting the Jews chose to free Barabbas over Himself, letting a common criminal be freed and seen as less evil than Himself. How is it that Christ could choose such lowly pain and suffering, such hatred from His Own People? Because of the great love He has for us, Christ chose humility of the heart and will.

Can we do less? Can we endure the pain of the tribulation to come out of a great love for Christ? I pray for this grace. Father Rodriguez quotes St. Ignatius that this is exactly what martyrs need—in the Examen xllv. Rule xi, the founder writes this:

“..so they who have renounced the world, and truly follow Jesus Christ, ought fervently to desire whatever is opposite to the spirit of the world, and ought to take delight to wear the livery of their divine Master, out of the love they bear him; so that to become in a manner like unto him, they ought to wish themselves to be overwhelmed with injuries, affronts, false testimonies, and all sorts of ignominy,so that God were not thereby, and if the inflicting of them be no sin in their neighbour.”

I pray for these graces, as this is what is needed to be a martyr.

The Battle of Arrogance vs. Humility-A Won Virtue

Welcome to the new world of Sodom and Gomorrah. Never before have the sins of abortion and ssm been made into laws. Even the Greeks and Romans, known for pederasty and using boys in the army as substitutes for prostitutes, as women were thought to weaken men's ability to fight, even those nations did not make homosexual sin law.

At this time in history, we are witnessing the worst evils ever committed by governments. Those of us who know the history of Western and Eastern Civilization, know that the four sins which cry out to God for vengeance were never enshrined in law. Never. So, how does the Catholic react? Become holy, very holy and prepare for martyrdom, as you most likely will face it in one way or another, having to face the arrogance of evil.

Now, we see the arrogance of humans living and making laws outside of both natural law and revealed law.

The only thing which can counteract these growing legal evils is prayer from the humble. One reason why I am emphasizing humility is that this virtue must be learned now in order to combat this legal arrogance, and in order to follow God in horribly difficult times.

Today, on the feast of St. Catherine of Siena, I shall quote Fr. Rodriquez on her struggle for the balance between trusting in Providence and the sin of presumption. Here is a section from his text, in Volume II:

“For when, to discourage her, he (the devil) endeavored to make her believe that all her life had been only a deception, she too courage at the consideration of the mercy of God, and expressed herself thus: 'I confess, O my Creator, that a my life has been nothing but darkness, but I will hide myself in the wounds of Jesus crucified; and I will bathed myself in his blood, which will wash off all my sins; and I will rejoice in my Creator and my God'” “Thou shalt wash me , O Lord, and I shall become whiter than snow.” (Ps.i.9) On the other hand, if the devil by a contrary temptation tried to puff her up with pride, by representing to her that she was already perfect, and that she had no further need to bewail her sins, or to be afflicted; she most profoundly humbled herself, and thus reasoned with herself:'What! Unhappy creature that I am!--St. John the Baptist never sinned, he nevertheless failed not to do severe penance; what must I do, who have committed so many sins and never acknowledged and bewailed them as I ought?

The devil, continues Rodriguez, would end up leaving her, as he could not make her sin either in despair or in pride. Once the devil knows he cannot win this game of under-confidence or over-confidence, he must stop these types of attacks.

Now, why am I writing so much on humility now? Martyrs, either green or red, are not made in a day. The rode to martyrdom follows a plan created by God, one which involves the acceptance of suffering without complaint.

Americans and the English have become masters of complaint. Americans have high expectation, or just expectations, and the English seem to like to complain. I once heard four people in England at coffee after Mass sharing tales of their holidays in Teneriffe, the Canary Islands and other exotic places, but the entire conversation involved constant complaining. I had to get up and leave the table because the negativity was so embedded in their characters that I could not change the subject or interject some positive comments. The habit of complaining reflects a serious lack of humility. Even little exasperation during the days, which cause one to say something small or just sigh reveal a lack of humility. With humility comes patience. And patience brings courage.

One recalls St. Thomas More's comment on seeing the great Carthusian martyrs from the Charterhouse going off to their horrible deaths of being dragged on wooden sledges through the dirty streets of London, to being drawn and quartered, singing like men on their way to a wedding. St. Thomas noted that if he had been on his knees more, praying and doing mortification, instead of enjoying the comforts of Court, he would have been more ready for martyrdom.

Do you, dear Readers, think that you will all of the sudden become holy enough to withstand pain and not fall into despair or pride when facing ridicule, the loss of all income, complete marginalization in our societies, and then imprisonment with humility and equanimity when you are not preparing yourselves now?

Rarely are there, but there are a few, “last minute martyrs”, such as the one centurion who made up the Forty Martyrs of Sebaste, when one left the ice and perished in a warm bath, leaving God for a short comfort. We are not called to be that fortieth martyr, but one of the thirty-nine, who stripped and laid on the ice in pain until they died. Because God chastens me, I eat less meat than most people and eat only two meals a day because of poverty. I own practically nothing, and God decides my mortification, mostly. So, I am blessed by Him Who knows how weak I am.

What are you willing to give up now, in the name of Christ, for mortification and for the saving of souls? I have given up desserts, wine, beer and cordials of all kinds. I have given up careers and status. I have given up chocolate, and eating snacks between meals.

This is all preparation for dying, as dying to self allow one to grow in freedom. Many Catholics will be lost in the coming weeks, months and years. Ask God to show you the least imperfections in your souls, minds, imaginations, wills. Fr. Rodriguez, like Garrigou-Lagrange is aware of that predominant fault which keeps us from perfection.

What will happen when your bishop and the majority of priests in your diocese apostatize, either over ssm or giving Communion to those in adultery? What will you do? Will you conform with the majority, or stand firm in the knowledge of God's Will as found in natural and revealed laws?

The truth is that self-knowledge, states Father Rodriguez, brings courage. Many sins come from the pit of fear, which too many people carry around. A small example: I set up this chapel after all the people who were supposed to come through the house for repairs, surveys, and such had done their jobs. Except for the termite inspector, I thought I was free of visitors for a month until I leave, now three weeks.

Today, I was told that two more repairmen are coming in. I know one is a low-church protestant, as low-church as one can get and still be Christian, and he will be offended by the icons. I thought for a minute about taking these and the two remaining statues out of the room, but I heard a strong voice say, “This is a test. If you are ashamed of Me here, what will you do when a real trial comes to you? ” Obviously, Christ does not care about offending others who have left the path of truth. We have the one, true religion and can be strong in our defense of even icons and statues. The Church teaches the truth in wholeness, not in parts, and we cannot choose what to dispose of and what not to. God ordains dulia.

A small test, when most people would be concerned about being offensive, God is telling me clearly not to worry about that, but to be strong in the Truth of the beauty of Catholic worship, of dulia as well as latria. The chapel stays put until I leave in three weeks.

Where does this courage come from in my heart? From being no one, nothing, for being a weak vessel, a frail person of Faith. As Father Rodriguez writes, to look at our weakness is actually inverted pride, as one must keep one's eyes on Christ.

If we look at Christ, we have courage in His grace, not our own strength. Rodriguez quotes Psalms 22, 26 and 27, among others, for the proper perspective.

Because of the intensity of pain I am experiencing, plus the other difficulties, I trust that God will have compassion on me in my weaknesses. Indeed, Fr. Rodriguez stresses that the more we admit our frailties, the more God has mercy on us.

He notes that if we are saying, “Why have I not such and such a thing? Why am I treated so ill?” that these questions reveal that one is lacking in self-knowledge. Years ago, a spiritual director told me to stop asking “why” questions, that these were a complete waste of time. I did stop. Now, I say, “God show me my sins, even the hidden sins, so that I can love you more and more.”

And, here is the key to courage, which comes from self-knowledge. Let me use Rodriguez' own words.

“For if you had but humility, and knew well the deceitfulness of your own heart,you would not be uneasy or lose courage. But, on the contrary, you would wonder that there happens no worse to you, and that you fall not oftener.; and you would not cease praising and blessing God who upholds you with his hand, and saves you from the disorders you would infallibly fall into without him.”

St. Francis Borgia, a favorite of Fr. Rodriguez, noted to a wealthy friend who knew him when he was wealthy and comfortable, that he needed to take more care of himself. Francis answered that he had a harbinger who went before him to take care of all his needs. His friend asked him who this was. The saints answered that it was the knowledge of himself, and the thought of the pains of hell, so that whatever place he found himself in, including bad lodgings, he knew he was being treated better than he deserved.

This is not poetry or merely edifying stories from the life of a saint, but a reality for all of us.

One more story from Fr. Rodriguez for today—a holy Dominican told St. Margaret that he had begged the ancient Desert Fathers to show him how they became so holy. One night, in a dream, he saw a book with golden letters and a voice told him to “arise, and read”. He rose immediately and read these words. “The perfection of the ancient fathers consisted in loving God, in despising themselves and in neither judging or contemning any body”. Then, the vision disappeared.

It is hard not to judge, but when one sees one's own horrid sins, one stops judging others. It is hard to despise one's self, but when one sees one's sins and the enormity of the insult these give to God, one can hate one's self. It is hard to love God, but ask Him for this love, and He will give it to you.

Recently, God told me I would be punished for a sin which was hidden, but came to light. I did not want to look at this sin, nor consider punishment. But, today, when I could hardly walk or dress, and when I could not bend over to pick something which had fallen on the floor, or I could not finish ironing because of pain, I knew that God had chosen a punishment which would mean I cannot function daily as I would wish to do. I am grateful for this punishment, as it is better than purgatory. I can actually thank God for the pain in three-quarters of my back and for the inconvenience of not being able to bend over. I am weak, but He is strong. Two big prayers were answered today, concerning some things, and a small one. This answering of prayers on a day when I could hardly function is not an accident. God is showing me that He is in control, not me, that He is taking care of me in the way that He decides. My will no longer belongs to me, but to Him.

We are all in boot camp, but the war is about the start. Cooperate with suffering. Beg for those graces so that you can learn to be humble. Learn to rely completely on God, on Divine Providence, even to death. That is our call in this generation.

Notes on Mortification Again

Not a popular subject, but one I need to share before the persecution begins in earnest. Rodriguez is brilliant on this subject, being a spiritual director for Jesuits. I would like to make a few bullet points from his second volume of The Practice of Christian and Religious Perfection.

And, please note, that mortification is for all of us, not just nuns and priests. For many of us, it just comes into our lives without asking and this is a great grace. See this post...http://supertradmum-etheldredasplace.blogspot.com/2015/04/consolation-in-desolation.html

• Those who do not feel any interior war or struggle are in trouble. It means they have given up following the road to holiness. Rodriguez writes that this means the person is only following his own will, and giving in to sensual desires. 
• People in the world accept suffering in order to get ahead, make money, be comfortable; so, too the suffering of those seeking perfection through mortification is to gain eternal life.
• Those who have certain temperaments (see my previous posts on this) cannot use their temperaments as excuses for avoiding mortifications. However, some people who are more docile may not need as strict penances as those who have strong wills and strong characters.
• St. Ephraim writes that war for the soldier lasts a certain time, but the war of the soul lasts until one dies. St. Teresa of Avila notes this as well.
• The angel given to us at birth guides us like a governess guides children to obey and form character. Listen to this guardian angel daily.
• Sometimes one must tell the devil that a problem is his, a temptation and sin is his, not one's own. One can address the individual devil who follows us around and tell him that these belong to him, not the one under attack. 
• One must absolutely turn away from evil thoughts, fantasies, imaginations in order to combat sin and this is part of interior mortification. Interior mortification strengthens the will for choosing God's ways.
• One may think of the Passion and Death of Christ as part of turning away from sin and accepting mortification interiorly. Patiently accepting suffering and not complaining are part of interior mortification.
• Thinking on one's sins is also dangerous. Once forgiven, forget these. If not forgiven, go to confession asap. The devil can bring a person back into sin through the dwelling on sins. Those who live in the present moment are less likely to be attacked interiorly.
• Fear binds up the interior life and weakens the will. Fear creates problems in the imagination,leading to distractions and more sin. Fear must be combated by mortifications and the acceptance of suffering.
• We must not make decisions in times of great spiritual temptations and turmoil. God speaks to us in peace and tranquility, not in torment. Rodriguez notes that it is very dangerous to follow ideas and "lights" which come to us in times of great spiritual struggle. Stay quiet and focused, 

more later...

More from Father Rodriguez, et moi, on Gifts

The good Jesuit notes that God does not need our gifts. I have always had a visceral repulsion to those gifting courses some Catholic retreat houses have picked up from the Protestants.

The theology behind these is absolutely wrong.

Why? Maybe numbered points would help.
Just a few...

1. As the superb spiritual writer. Father Rodriguez indicates, God does not need our gifts, so why concentrate on these?
2. Society does not need our gifts.
3. God and society need our holiness, our lack of egotism, our humility and perfection.
4. All gifts are not ours anyway, but God's. Anything we have in our temperaments or natural talents, or even supernatural gifts come from God and go back to God. These are not ours to claim.
5. Gifts only are given from Divine Providence, as Providence sees fit to use and nurture. We do not determine our gifts.
6. Providence not only determines our gifts, but how we use these.
7. Providence can also deny us the use of our gifts-this is a great suffering which causes death to egotism-I know!
8. The gifts one may think one has may not be those from God at all.
9. Charismatic gifts should not be confused with natural or other supernatural gifts, such as vocations.
10. Only those in sanctifying grace can actually use gifts from God, Those in mortal sin cannot, and may have strong natural gifts which are confused with supernatural ones.
11. God frequently chooses the less gifted--St. Bernadette is a case in point.
12. There are internal and external gifts-gifts for one's self and gifts for the Church. Sometimes these overlap.
13. Some people are more gifted than others. God is not the Great Democrat in the Sky.
14. Leadership training of the young is not the same as these gift courses.
15. Some gifts involve duty, some merit.
16. Ergo, do not waste money on these false gifting programs. Interesting that I never liked these and suspected New Age influences as well as the Protestant confusion about grace. See my many posts on that subject of grace.

Here is the great Dominican, Garrigou-Lagrange, again, on Providence and gifts.

There is a great inequality, no doubt, in circumstances, natural and supernatural, among men here on earth. Some are rich, others are poor; some are possessed of great natural gifts, whereas others are of a thankless disposition, weak in health, of a melancholy temperament. But God never commands the impossible; no one is tempted beyond his strength reinforced by the grace offered him. The savage of Central Africa or Central America has received far less than we have; but if he does what he can to follow the dictates of conscience, Providence will lead him on from grace to grace and eventually to a happy death; for him eternal life is possible of attainment. Jesus died for all men, and among those who have the use of reason only those are deprived of the grace necessary for salvation who by their resistance reject it. Since He never commands the impossible, God offers to all the means necessary for salvation.

Moreover, not infrequently providence and justice will make up for the inequality in natural conditions by their distribution of supernatural gifts. Often the poor man in his simplicity will be more pleasing to God than the rich man, and will receive greater graces. Let us recall the parable of the wicked rich man recorded in St. Luke (16: 19-31) :

There was a certain rich man who was clothed in purple and fine linen and feasted sumptuously every day. And there was a certain beggar named Lazarus, who lay at his gate, full of sores, desiring to be filled with the crumbs that fell from the rich man's table. And no one did give him: moreover the dogs came and licked his sores. And it came to pass that the beggar died and was carried by the angels into Abraham's bosom. And the rich man also died.... And lifting up his eyes when he was in torments, he saw Abraham... and he cried and said: Father Abraham, have mercy on me.... And Abraham said to him; Son, remember that thou didst receive good things in thy lifetime, and likewise Lazarus evil things: but now he is comforted and thou art tormented.

This is to declare in effect that, where natural conditions are unequal, providence and justice will sometimes make up for it in the distribution of natural gifts. Again, the Gospel beatitudes tell us that one who is bereft of this world's enjoyments will in some cases feel more powerfully drawn to the joys of the interior life. This is what our Lord would have us understand when He says: "Blessed are the poor in spirit.... Blessed are the meek... that suffer persecution for justice' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." [138]

The love of Jesus goes out to those servants of His nailed to the cross, because then they are more like Him through the effective oblation they make of their entire being for the salvation of sinners. In them He continues to live; in them He may be said to prolong down to the end of time His own prayers and sufferings, and above all His love, for perfect love consists in the complete surrender of self.

For some there comes a time when every road in life is barred against them; humanly speaking, the future holds out no prospect whatever to them. In some cases this is the moment when the call comes to something higher. Some there are who spend long years confined to a bed of pain; for these henceforth there is no way open but the way of holiness. [139]

And so providence and justice, while giving to each one what is strictly necessary, will often make up for any disparity in natural conditions by the bestowal of grace. They reward us, even in this life, for the merits we have gained, reminding us, too, of our solemn duties by salutary warnings and well-deserved corrections, which are no more than medicinal punishments for the purpose of bringing us back into the right path. In this way will a mother correct her child if she loves it with a really enlightened, ardent love. When these salutary corrections are well received, we make expiation for our sins, and God takes the opportunity of inspiring us with a more sincere humility and a purer, stronger love. There is a sharp distinction between souls according to their willingness or unwillingness to listen to these warnings from God.

More on this later... as it is a pet peeve of mine that people charge for this theologically dubious nonsense..next post, how to know what your real gifts are....and without a fee due.

To Destroy Concupiscence

A few weeks ago in prayer, an inspiration came to me that one could be completely freed from concupiscence. Now, I have never had a spiritual director tell me this, or have I ever heard a priest preach or teach this. I have never been taught that one can be free of the tendency towards sin.

However, in that moment of insight, I could see that if God was moving one away from venial sin, and if one was working on the imperfections, concupiscence would be silenced and eventually disappear. One is not doomed to live in the throes of Original Sin.

Today, reading Fr. Alphonsus Rodriguez, in his second volume of  The Practice of Christian Religious Perfection, I found this quotation from St. Augustine:

"The diminution of concupiscence is the increase of charity and the greatest perfection consists in having our concupiscence quite extinguished."

Praise God! So, what the Holy Spirit put in my head two weeks ago or so is that if one continues to cooperate with the graces of purification, concupiscence becomes a thing of the past, as one moves out of the consequences of Original Sin into Illumination and Unity.

I am not there by any stretch of the imagination, but the Holy Spirit was encouraging me.  When the inordinate and unruly love of self and love of the world disappear, and when the love of God takes over one's heart, mind, soul, body, concupiscence dies.

Death to self-will forms the basis for all of this movement of the soul to God.

So, why do priests and bishops not talk about this? Because they have not let themselves suffer through purgation. Some have, like Bishop Schneider and Cardinal Burke, who see things clearly, because the world, the flesh and the devil have been, like scales, taken away from their eyes.

Those of us who are not religious, but who are called to aid others in their spiritual lives, even by writing, encouraging, listening, giving advice in the world, are instructed by Fr. Rodriguez, to do mortification in order to become more perfect and a real servant. No one should be ministering in any capacity in the Church as a lay person unless one is willing to be purged of egotism, self-will. I have many posts on this fact.

And, again, I am encouraged in my way after reading in Rodriguez one of my favorite passages used in other posts on this blog.

"The kingdom of God is at hand and the violent are taking it by storm."

We need to be violent with ourselves as I have noted here. Rodriguez quotes St. Gregory the Great:

"It is he, who, after this manner, having broken down the rampart of his passions, ascends with violence to the kingdom of heaven."

Father Xavier told me at the retreat in March that, yes, it is possible to be free from all venial sins.

To even be free of concupiscence provides another impetus to be violent with one's self regarding mortification.

Suggestions for mortification:

• Eat less
• Eat less meat
• Give up desserts, candy
• Give up snacks
• Sleep on the floor
• Drink less alcohol
• Never complain or mention pain except to your doctor
• Do not go to the doctor unless something is serious
• Endure ridicule peacefully
• Reflect constantly on actions 
• Do not tolerate any evil or imperfect thoughts
• Never fantasize
• Never waste time
• Correct faults immediately
• Confess sins weekly if possible
• Go to daily Mass and Adoration
• Pray as much as possible for yourself and others
• Leave off complaining entirely
• Be humble about your real needs
• Never tolerate your predominant fault
• Live out of two or three suitcases of clothes and shoes only
• Wives, truly be obedient to your good Catholic husbands in matters of religion
• Children, be obedient to your good Catholic parents

I shall do more soon on this book. Here are some similar posts.

http://supertradmum-etheldredasplace.blogspot.com/2014/11/without-contemplatives-there-can-be-no.html


please ignore spacing problems....

Etheldredasplace: Grieving Over Lost Generations

supertradmum-etheldredasplace.blogspot.com/.../grieving-over-lost-gene...

Sep 4, 2014 - The Church is weak everywhere, but there are pockets of resistance. .... http://supertradmum-etheldredasplace.blogspot.com/2014/06/death-of-  ...

Etheldredasplace: Challenge to the Church Militant ...

supertradmum-etheldredasplace.blogspot.com/.../challenge-to-church-mi...

Feb 4, 2013 - Posted by Supertradmum ... If seminaries accept weak men, theChurch's hierarchy will remain weak, and become ... a blog since early 2007  ...

Etheldredasplace: Family Idolatry or The Church?

supertradmum-etheldredasplace.blogspot.com/.../family-idolatry-or-chur...

Aug 24, 2014 - And the Church Militant is made up of those who fight for the truth of the ..... who, neither broken down by the weakness of her sex, nor moved by her .... http://supertradmum-etheldredasplace.blogspot.ie/2013/07/what-some-  ...

Etheldredasplace: Silence is Consent

supertradmum-etheldredasplace.blogspot.com/.../silence-is-consent.html

Nov 6, 2014 - http://supertradmum-etheldredasplace.blogspot.com/2014/10/quiet- ....of co-operating with the government, like the Catholic church does here.

Etheldredasplace: 02/15/14

supertradmum-etheldredasplace.blogspot.com/2014_02_15_archive.html

Feb 15, 2014 - Posted by Supertradmum. Why do you let your children ... Follow thisblog on persecution and community tags. The second leap is to ... Stop blaming priests and bishops for the weakness in the Church. The weakness in your  

http://supertradmum-etheldredasplace.blogspot.ie/2013/08/the-church-is-imploding-from-within-for.html

Etheldredasplace: Why The Church Is Weak

"The Church is weak because people stop allowing God to purify the soul, the mind, the imagination. "This accounts for the number of weak priests, weak teachers, and weak parents." True! And, exceptions duly noted, weak ...

http://supertradmum-etheldredasplace.blogspot.com/

Etheldredasplace: Why The Church Is Weak Three

13 Aug 2014

Why The Church Is Weak Three. Posted by Supertradmum. I may not be able to blog or be online today. The Net here is literally on and off, in seconds and in minutes. Apologies for interruptions. Many years ago, for several ...

http://supertradmum-etheldredasplace.blogspot.com/

Etheldredasplace: Why is the Church weak? A repost

06 Nov 2014

I believe there are two reasons why the Catholic Church is weak today. First, the apostasy and sins of the clergy weaken the Church from within. One cannot list all the problems, but this blog has highlighted some. The spirit of ...

http://supertradmum-etheldredasplace.blogspot.com/

Etheldredasplace: The Weakness of the Church is the Laity

14 Aug 2013

As long as the laity in any country keep looking towards the priests and bishops for their own personal holiness, the slide into chaos in the Church will continue. Read my posts on Catholic thinking...we are responsible for our ...

http://supertradmum-etheldredasplace.blogspot.com/

Still begging for this book...please

The Practice of Christian and Religious Perfection I, II, and III, by Father Alphonsus Rodriquez, S.J.

Please consider finding these for me.

Repeat....from another Lent...although Lent is over.

Encouraging those during Lent who are trying to endure either the Dark Night of the Soul, or the beginnings of aridity, here is a section from Uniformity With God's Will, by St. Alphonsus Liguori. One can find the entire book online here.

As my readers know, I especially like Rodriguez, and if anyone feels they can find his books for me, let me know. I read some of these in the convent two years ago. (Now three years!) There are three volumes. I have tried several times to download the PDF and cannot do it.

 

From St. Alphonsus: 

Lastly, we should unite ourselves to the will of God as regards our
degree of grace and glory.  True, we should esteem the things that
make for the glory of God, but we should show the greatest esteem for
those that concern the will of God. We should desire to love God more
than the seraphs, but not to a degree higher than God has destined
for us. St. John of Avila says: "I believe every saint has had the
desire to be higher in grace than he actually was. However, despite
this, their serenity of soul always remained unruffled. Their desire
for a greater degree of grace sprang not from a consideration of
their own good, but of God's. They were content with the degree of
grace God had meted out for them, though actually God had given them
less. They considered it a greater sign of true love of God to be
content with what God had given them, than to desire to have received
more."
      

....
This means, as Rodriguez explains it, we should be diligent in
striving to become perfect, so that tepidity and laziness may not
serve as excuses for some to say: "God must help me; I can do only so
much for myself." Nevertheless, when we do fall into some fault, we
should not lose our peace of soul and union with the will of God,
which permits our fall; nor should we lose our courage. 

Update: a reader said she is sending me two vols in softcover...thanks!