The Same Moon

Thursday Night, attempting to spend one hour with Jesus in my little chapel, just being there after Compline, I felt so far away from Him and all I love.

This isolation seems to be a purgatorial experience for all the time I wasted talking nonsense, wasting time, and not being focused on God in years gone by.

I felt so far away from my dearest both in Europe, in America, and in Japan, wishing to share the High Holy Days with someone I love.

But, no...these are desert days. I am resigned and now have peace in this place.

But, I also felt so far away from Christ's own experience in Gethsemane, my little chapel being thousands of miles away from the Mediterranean and also "modern", the house having been built in the 1980s.

I complained to Christ that although mentally I was in Gethsemane with Him, but with many distractions, I could not share His place. I would have loved to be in Jerusalem.

Then, I thought of the Passover Moon outside, to the southeast, so large and bright. I got up and looked out the small chapel window. The clouds passed over the white orb, playing hide and seek with its brilliance.

Suddenly, looking at the full moon, I realized that Christ had seen this same moon, this same full Passover Moon. Like a lover desperate to find a tie to one's Beloved, I was consoled realizing we shared the same moon, despite the distance and years.

1,982 years ago, my Dear Lord, the Beloved One, looked at this same moon I saw outside my chapel window in the dark night of Holy Thursday.

Perhaps He thought of me, perhaps, in that Garden, as Christ, the God-Man, could see all the sins I have committed and all of us have, down through the ages as part of His Passion. How sad that I caused Him pain that night.

Today, as I rise for Good Friday Tenebrae, I shall think of Christ in a small prison cell, maybe smaller than this small chapel. No moon, no birds, no sunlight, only the horrible stench and cramped quarters of a dirty cell.

But, for one hour, we shared the moon of the great feast, sharing even in suffering, loss, yet, peace in the nothingness, in the darkness of isolation.

Matthew 26

40 And he cometh to his disciples, and findeth them asleep, and he saith to Peter: What? Could you not watch one hour with me?

Question and Comments from Readers on One Facet of The Retreat Notes

Years ago, I had a discussion with a friend of mine in England. In fact, it was in January of 2012 when we talked about how we were both waking up between 2-5, and sometimes exactly at 4:00 a.m.

For awhile, I got up and prayed, especially if God was bringing someone or something to my mind.

Moving around so much in the past four years has interfered with me responding to this call "to keep vigil with Christ" as Father Xavier called it.

Now, I have met several other people, both men and women, who tell me that are waking up at 4 or so. We all agree, but one who still is not sure, that God is calling us to pray at that time.

One of this group found out that people who are going to commit suicide do so at these times, 2-5.

Another person thought of being in the Garden of Gethsemane. Maybe Christ just wants us to be with Him, as if we were in the Garden, but not falling asleep like the apostles.

I must admit this is very, very hard for me, as I only get about six to seven hours of sleep a night as it is owing to doing so many things. Interrupted sleep can only be called "difficult".

But, if God is waking one up, one must get up and pray.

I cannot do a rosary at that hour, usually, unless I am well-rested, but I can turn my mind towards Christ and pray for those people who do come to my mind at those wee hours of the morning....

To do vigil with Christ means that He is begging us to join Him in His Passion, to do what St. Paul indicates here:

Colossians 1:24Douay-Rheims 

24 Who now rejoice in my sufferings for you, and fill up those things that are wanting of the sufferings of Christ, in my flesh, for his body, which is the church:

Notice how in this translation, St. Paul refers to mortification of the flesh, of the body. There is no doubt that keeping vigil with Christ in the night falls under this category of us suffering for the needs of souls in the present time.

For some, this waking up in the middle of the night could be the "thorn in the flesh", as the interrupting of sleep is painful and makes a day of work much more difficult. The Church finishes the suffering of Christ throughout all time.

But, one always has a choice to respond to given mortifications or not....and as I have said before on this blog, do not waste suffering.

... I write this for C, J, D, E, J, and M.

P.S. If you wake up at three, say the Divine Mercy Chaplet.

Living in Fantasy-land

I am not sure if it because two wars were fought on European soil in the last century, or whether it is because the normal European lifestyle is simpler, (less food, less space, more community), but I am increasingly aware of the fact that in opposition to Europeans, many Americans live in Fantasy-land.

Fantasy-land has been made out of the bubble of consumerism. Consumerism dulls the mind and soul, making the pursuit of things more important than the pursuit of the interior life. One of the reasons why Adoration and contemplative lifestyles are so important to set up in America would be to combat consumerism. I pray for this to happen...the simplicity of the Eucharist in the Monstrance, the Vulnerable God, combating, silently, Fantasy-land.

Consumerism causes a person to fall into the philosophy of materialism, which only holds that matter, what what sees, touches, hears, tastes and so on, is real. Ultimately, materialism denies the soul and the spiritual life.

Fantasy-land is my name for Augustine's City of Man, the city which grows up and thrives alongside the City of God, which is largely, though not exclusively, unseen.

St. Augustine is very clear about those inhabitants of the City of Man who are "dead". In Book Thirteen of his masterpiece, he expertly and neatly outlines the distinction between those who are alive in their souls, and those who are dead. He states, "For the wicked have life in the body, but none of soul." Their lives are lived out in death and when they die, they shall experience the second death.

Fantasy-land is a state of living death. Those who chose to live for things, consumed by things, working for things, have chosen their gods of the earth, the gods of Fantasy-land.  Some souls are dead because these people have never been baptized. Their souls are still in the darkness of Original Sin, a fact many Catholics forget.

Baptism regenerates the soul, giving the person life in Christ and making that person a son or daughter of God and heir of heaven.

But, one can lose sacramental grace given in baptism through mortal sin. Those in Fantasy-land live as though they will live on earth forever, not facing God in judgment, both particular and final.

The problem here in America which defines the inhabitants of Fantasy-land, is that these people encourage each other to continue to live in this false paradise. If you recall the Genesis story, God throws Adam and Eve out of paradise so that they do not eat of the Tree of Life and live forever in evil.

Genesis 3:22-23Douay-Rheims 

22 And he said: Behold Adam is become as one of us, knowing good and evil: now, therefore, lest perhaps he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever.23 And the Lord God sent him out of the paradise of pleasure, to till the earth from which he was taken.

Americans in Fantasy-land want to live forever, creating environments of such a level of comfort that they can forget about death, something which must be remembered daily. The expulsion from Eden has been forgotten. If Adam and Eve would have been allowed to stay in Eden, it would have become a permanent Fantasy-land.

How does one remember being kicked out of paradise? There are two ways: through the acceptance of suffering and through mortification. One must tear one's self away from Fantasy-land and move into the City of God. Departing from the City of Man means exactly that--becoming different than those around you, being that sign of contradiction in the world which each Catholic should be by the fact of their baptismal grace.

We are not in Eden, and we should not be creating Eden on earth, but the City of God. St. Augustine in the same chapter notes that bodies of the saints rest in hope of the resurrection of the body to life in God. Augustine writes that those who hated their bodies on earth, in other words chose penance, will love their bodies in heaven. Can one imagine the hatred one will have for one's own body and soul in hell?

St. Augustine makes an analogy between the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and the "free election of the will". Now, after Original Sin, we must choose daily against evil and for good. This is a daily trial, the same one presented to Adam and Eve. We must choose against the false Eden of Fantasy-land, and God. For an American, this choice proves to be extremely difficult. One is surrounded by those who are choosing to build  up the false city over the true one.

How hard it is for the majority of Catholics to choose against this false Eden. For some of us, to whom suffering poverty and real want has been allowed, it is actually easier to stand outside the City of Man and walk towards the City of God, as one is denied the means to join those in Fantasy-land.

One can choose poverty and one can endure it. Enduring is not enough. One must choose within the set boundaries made by God, choose Divine Providence over the accumulation of things even in one's mind and desires. Poverty can actually be a gift, allowing one to focus not on the things of this earth, which one does not have, but on God.

Penury is not the same as poverty. Penury is extreme poverty, the type of life I live. The advantages are that God has decided on mortification for one, rather than me choosing such freely. To be in midst of Fantasy-land and choose mortification would be a higher call, a higher grace, than what I have. Obviously, God knows how weak I am and allows me to have, to own, nothing so that I must turn to Him daily for my basic needs. He understands how easily I would lose my soul in Fantasy-land, so He keeps me outside the gates of the City of Man. For this, I am grateful, even though I never know where I shall live or how I shall eat regularly. Anxiety changes into desire for God alone under these circumstances. But, I did choose long ago never to compromise truth for lies, or comfort for truth, and my state in life reflects the consequences of not compromising. Would that all Catholics would choose not to compromise, as then we would see a holy, vibrant City of God.

I wrote about Dickens' characters in Martin Chuzzlewit just two weeks ago or so, mostly all of these "people" rushing after riches and comfort, some even living in deceit, lying about their evil, choosing money and things over virtue. Dickens' work shows that the creation of Fantasy-land is not the invention of Americans, but of man and satan from all times, since the Fall. The themes of Dickens' book are deceit, pharisee-ism, and greed.

The truly evil characters choose fraud and even murder in order to maintain wealth and status. One sin leads to the next and the next. One forgets one's dependence on God alone, and builds a false paradise on earth, rooted in corruption.

Little decisions, not big ones, like murder or fraud, can lead one into the false Eden, into Fantasy-land. I know people who chose physical comfort in second marriages without annulments, and in jobs which cause them to daily deny Christ. Now, that they are gone from this earth, I think of choices they can no longer make. Perhaps they do as well, as remorse comes in purgatory, and stays in hell.

http://supertradmum-etheldredasplace.blogspot.com/2015/02/city-of-god-or-village-of-god-two-parts.html

Feast Day of St. Adam and St. Eve

One discovers interesting facts and truths in certain ways. Some of us grow up surrounded by a world of Catholicism, including excellent, if we are fortunate, Catholic education and liturgy.

I learned of this feast day a very long time ago. My parents put up the tree always on Christmas Eve when I was growing up, In fact they did this when we were sleeping and we did not see the tree until Christmas morning.

The custom of waiting until Christmas or Christmas Eve to put up the tree was connected to the Feast of SS. Adam and Eve, as the Christmas Tree was a reminder of the Tree in Paradise, part of the reason for Christ's Coming.

The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, of course, had red apples on it and the Medievals used these are part of the Miracle Plays on the Life of Christ done on the great feast says.

That today was in the older liturgical calendars the Feast of Our First Parents, brought out of limbo in the Harrowing of Hell by Christ, as we say in the Creed, has been forgotten.

Christ descended into hell and took those chosen by God, the righteous of the Old Testament, including Joseph, into heaven. "He descended into hell".

In the old collect for this day, the phrase "O fault, O necessary sin of Adam" linked Christmas Eve with Holy Week.

Today we think of the words in the Exsultet, which once were said on this day, this feast.

O truly necessary sin of Adam,
destroyed completely by the Death of Christ!

O happy fault
that earned for us so great, so glorious a Redeemer!

Ambrose, Augustine, and Aquinas all write on this phrase.

O felix culpa quae talem et tantum meruit habere redemptorem

Here is part of Aquinas on this subject, from this source:

On the contrary, What frees the human race from perdition is necessary for the salvation of man. But themystery of Incarnation is such; according to John 3:16: "God so loved the world as to give His only-begottenSon, that whosoever believeth in Him may not perish, but may have life everlasting." Therefore it was necessaryfor man's salvation that God should become incarnate.
I answer that, A thing is said to be necessary for a certain end in two ways. First, when the end cannot be without it; as food is necessary for the preservation of human life. Secondly, when the end is attained better and more conveniently, as a horse is necessary for a journey. In the first way it was not necessary that God should become incarnate for the restoration of human nature. For God with His omnipotent power could have restoredhuman nature in many other ways. But in the second way it was necessary that God should become incarnate for the restoration of human nature. Hence Augustine says (De Trin. xii, 10): "We shall also show that other ways were not wanting to God, to Whose power all things are equally subject; but that there was not a more fitting way of healing our misery."
Now this may be viewed with respect to our "furtherance in good." First, with regard to faith, which is made morecertain by believing God Himself Who speaks; hence Augustine says (De Civ. Dei xi, 2): "In order that man might journey more trustfully toward the truth, the Truth itself, the Son of God, having assumed human nature, established and founded faith." Secondly, with regard to hope, which is thereby greatly strengthened; henceAugustine says (De Trin. xiii): "Nothing was so necessary for raising our hope as to show us how deeply Godloved us. And what could afford us a stronger proof of this than that the Son of God should become a partner with us of human nature?" Thirdly, with regard to charity, which is greatly enkindled by this; hence Augustinesays (De Catech. Rudib. iv): "What greater cause is there of the Lord's coming than to show God's love for us?" And he afterwards adds: "If we have been slow to love, at least let us hasten to love in return." Fourthly, with regard to well-doing, in which He set us an example; hence Augustine says in a sermon (xxii de Temp.): "Manwho might be seen was not to be followed; but God was to be followed, Who could not be seen. And thereforeGod was made man, that He Who might be seen by man, and Whom man might follow, might be shown to man." Fifthly, with regard to the full participation of the Divinity, which is the true bliss of man and end of human life; and this is bestowed upon us by Christ's humanity; for Augustine says in a sermon (xiii de Temp.): "God was made man, that man might be made God."
So also was this useful for our "withdrawal from evil." First, because man is taught by it not to prefer the devil to himself, nor to honor him who is the author of sin; hence Augustine says (De Trin. xiii, 17): "Since human natureis so united to God as to become one person, let not these proud spirits dare to prefer themselves to man, because they have no bodies." Secondly, because we are thereby taught how great is man's dignity, lest we should sully it with sin; hence Augustine says (De Vera Relig. xvi): "God has proved to us how high a placehuman nature holds amongst creatures, inasmuch as He appeared to men as a true man." And Pope Leo says in asermon on the Nativity (xxi): "Learn, O Christian, thy worth; and being made a partner of the Divine nature, refuse to return by evil deeds to your former worthlessness." Thirdly, because, "in order to do away with man'spresumption, the grace of God is commended in Jesus Christ, though no merits of ours went before," as Augustine says (De Trin. xiii, 17). Fourthly, because "man's pride, which is the greatest stumbling-block to our clinging to God, can be convinced and cured by humility so great," as Augustine says in the same place. Fifthly, in order to free man from the thraldom of sin, which, as Augustine says (De Trin. xiii, 13), "ought to be done in such a way that the devil should be overcome by the justice of the man Jesus Christ," and this was done by Christ satisfying for us. Now a mere man could not have satisfied for the whole human race, and God was not bound to satisfy; hence it behooved Jesus Christ to be both God and man. Hence Pope Leo says in the same sermon: "Weakness is assumed by strength, lowliness by majesty, mortality by eternity, in order that one and the sameMediator of God and men might die in one and rise in the other--for this was our fitting remedy. Unless He was God, He would not have brought a remedy; and unless He was man, He would not have set an example."

I wish the Church would reinstate this day as the Feast of SS. Adam and Eve and bring back the phrase which connects our thoughts with the Easter Vigil. Such a bridge of faith would help us make this a holy day, and not a day of forgetfulness and fun.

Many of us older ones also remember when Christmas Eve was a day of fast and abstinence, as it should be again.

To play and party on this day seems common now, as many families have Christmas today, instead of tomorrow, or on both days.

Pause and prepare yourselves by thinking of Adam and Eve, on the felix culpa, on your own sins, as the reason for Christ's Incarnation and coming into this world.

I always thought that one of the reasons why the angels came to the shepherds was that they represent the Old Man of sin, Adam, who is the Garden of Eden was a gardener, and who, after his very bad choice, had to work hard for his food, shelter, and clothing.

Those lowly Bedouins in the fields around Bethlehem remind us that we are unwashed, unclean, simple, even outcasts, waiting for redemption.

I sincerely hope you are waiting for Christmas, Dear Readers, not rushing about and forgetting the great mystery of our redemption in baptism, the new life given to Adam and Even this night and to us in baptism.

I was reminded by a certain seminarian that one of the reasons for the long fast in Advent in earlier days was that people were baptized on the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord. The waiting in penance was part of the preparation for baptism.

What Adam and Eve gained in the Harrowing of Hell, we gain in the pouring of water over our heads-freedom from Original Sin, and the gift of eternal life with God.

Their wait was a very long time. We have become so impatient, that we cannot even wait for Midnight in order to start celebrating Christmas.

Perhaps meditating on the Feast of Adam and Eve will help us see this day in a different light.

This is for J, who is making my Christmas Eve a memorable feast day....

Perfection Series VIII Part XVII Raissa on A Roll

I could call this post, "Even the desert is a place".

Several significant lines from Raissa's Journal seem to fit into the ongoing discussion on perfection.

The first entry relates to the post earlier on philosophy and the training of the intellect. Raissa makes it clear that now is the time (1919) for the Faith to be defended by the Intellect. 

And, it is now.

Like the Benedictines, she makes the connection between the pursuit of the love of Truth, the love of God, and study.

Obedience to God in the Faith must be rational. Raissa quotes Pascal, "Submission and use of reason, in which true Christianity consists."

Who among Catholics know this, believe this? I hope my readers have come to this, if they did not know it already.

What we witnessed recently in the Synod were anti-intellectualism, the lack of reason, and the lack of obedience to Church teaching. 

Here is Raissa in her own words: Truth is the rule of the intellect and of the will, it has an absolute and legitimate power over the whole man. Not to follow the truth which the intellect shows us is to disobey God; for the intellect is, in us, a certain similitude of the uncreated light. (St. Thomas).

Then, she writes something which I could have written if I were more intelligent, for this is my experience. God meets me in my intellect and always has.

I remember a day in Bristol, when I was studying and teaching at the University, when I was working on the poetry of David Jones. I can remember the moment as if it happened yesterday.

Sitting at my desk in Wills Hall, facing west, out the large latticed window, I was struck with Beauty and taken up into the Presence of God. The study of the beauty of the words of poetry brought me directly into contact with Beauty Himself. That the intellectual pursuit for Truth and Beauty leads to God has been known by many. Here is Raissa again....

I give thanks to God who put in my heart such an ardent love of truth when, ignorant of the divine Truth, I lived among skeptics and atheists. That desire which the physical sciences could not satisfy because they are partial, and which modern philosophies completely frustrated by their relativism, was fulfilled by the revelation of Catholic doctrine and of Thomistic philosophy.

Her way was through theology and philosophy. But, she had to endure great suffering as well.

As I sit in bed trying to get warm, because I cannot afford heat, suffering from aches and pains, tendinitis, caused by the cold and pain in old frostbite areas, which hurt in the cold, and having chilblains flare up from the cold, I am struck that Raissa had to suffer while being purified in her intellect and heart. I get headaches from the cold, and pains in my fingers. She experienced many severe illnesses. She was almost constantly ill some years.

Why? Look at the saints who have had to suffer both physical and existential pain. The list is long.

The connection cannot be denied. When I first read her so long ago, I was attracted to her because she suffered, like I do, from very painful sciatica and other illnesses. Today, I had an asthma attack from the cold as well.  I was so disappointed, as my prayers for healing have not been answered. Raissa's illnesses were chronic and many days she had to spend in bed from weakness. Thankfully, I only need a "down day" here and there.

Her suffering was a part of her Dark Night. She admitted that she was in Purgatory for one year, 1918-1919, without consolation, with dryness in prayer, not being moved by sermons, with a shattered soul.

Why suffering must accompany this deep desire for Truth is explained by Raissa in one line.

"It is the sublime but everyday truth of Christianity that suffering united to love works salvation."

This is it....pure and simple. All metaphysical or existential suffering, physical or spiritual suffering, heart or head suffering, when coupled with love, becomes redemptive, not only for us, but for others.

In the past two weeks, when my active contemplation was a chore, dry and hard because I could not concentrate on God or His Attributes, it dawned on me, through a small moment of grace in the Adoration Chapel in Sliema, that this was exactly what God wanted--me to be in the driest of deserts before Him, trusting and loving without images, or any response from that Vulnerable God, who was before me under the Species of The Host.

This is my mortification-active contemplation without results. Raissa explains this as well, "Total abnegation is my path (so badly followed by me). All possible mortification, interior. In fact, it depends entirely on myself to create the 'desert'".

Several days ago, before I read this line as if I were reading it for the first time this morning, I came to the same realization in prayer at Adoration. I had to be content with the desert.

I had to create the desert interiorly, the nothingness of my own self, joined with the via negativa which has been my life. No permanent home, no companionship, no security, no family near me, very few things...which fit into two suitcases.

I knew this in 1985, so long ago, but I fought it over and over and over. To embrace the via negativa is to choose to be in the desert constantly, with aridity of soul and body. I wanted the via affimativa. but one does not choose the way God makes one holy. But, as a poet, a writer, I am plunged into the affirmation of life, of beauty, of symbols and images. That is another suffering, to be torn in one's gifts and ministry in the pursuit of contemplation. To go against one's natural instincts to find the nothing which is all.

But, now I know to rest in the desert. If there are no words, nothing but rocks and sands, I am content.

This is God's Will and once I really accepted it, the peace came like waves in the sea.

This is the peace which passes all understanding, not a peace because one is experiencing goodness, kindness or comfort, but a peace when one is suffering intensely on many fronts, including pain in the heart, including grief.

Create your own desert, in a way similar, to which you have been called by me through St. Catherine of Siena to create the cell in your soul. where you can go.

Now, I understand what was told to me at the beginning of this stay in Malta, that the Garden of Eden is the Garden of Gethsemane-only in pain and suffering can some of us find Love and perfection.

Raissa spoke to me so long ago, but I had to travel many paths to get to the place she found in 1921-the interior desert. She was 38.

Pray that God gives me stability in order to be able to rest in this desert, for even a desert is a place.

Let me close this post with Raissa's words from July 13th, 1921,

To love. To abandon oneself. Nothing else is necessary to sanctification.  No, nothing, not even silence with God if that is rendered impossible by real obstacles, interior or exterior...Love God, love, love. That is the one thing necessary.

to be continued....

On Mosquitoes and The The Cycle of Grace

American mosquitoes hate me. I never get bites in the States. However, Maltese mosquitoes love me and think I am a rare treat.

During the night, I am actually awakened by these creatures as the "bites" pierce my sleep. Despite closing windows and doors at dusk, I cannot keep these insects out of my little flat.

Then, I get up, turn on the light and try to find the culprits. Of course, I usually cannot. What is also interesting is that some do not make that loud mosquito noise. Silent bombers.

Finally, I am forced to consider why God made mosquitoes or flies, or fleas or any other irritating critters. One can imagine that before the Fall of Adam and Eve, such insects did not prey upon us mammals. Were there any carnivores before Original Sin?

The coming season of Advent, followed by Christmas, reminds us all of the famous prophecy, which prefigures the Messianic Kingdom of Peace.

Isaiah 11:6Douay-Rheims 

6 The wolf shall dwell with the lamb: and the leopard shall lie down with the kid: the calf and the lion, and the sheep shall abide together, and a little child shall lead them.

We know that the Little Child is Christ, the Second Person of the Blessed Trinity Incarnate. The Incarnation brings peace, harmony, the reestablishment of the pre-sin world. Christ restores innocence to us, bringing us new life, forgiving the Sin of Adam, opening the doors of heaven, freeing the captives from Sheol.

That the animals would share in this revolution from death to life, from chaos to order symbolizes the entire restructuring of creation through the Passion, Death, and Resurrection of Our Lord.

That we cooperate in this harmony involves our own individual calls to holiness.

Mosquitoes would lie down with the humans and let, at least this one, sleep. But, we share in some of the effects of Original Sin, including sickness and death, the clouding of the intellect, the weakening of the will, and concupiscence. 

Mosquitoes fall into one of those categories, and remind me in the wee hours of this morning, that we all need grace to combat those flaws we inherited from our first parents.

I wish the Church would reinstate the Feast of Adam and Eve on Christmas Eve, as in the old days. The collect of that old Mass resounded with the words we hear at the Praeconium Paschale, the Proclamation of Easter, in the Exsultet.

In this peal of rejoicing, we hear a reference to the "felix culpa", the necessary sin of Adam, which caused the Incarnation, the Sacrifice of Christ on the Cross and the Resurrection.

That this fault was mentioned on Christmas Eve tied the entire Liturgical Year into one great cycle of grace.

That Exsultet praises the Lamb of God reminds us not only of the two Passovers, the one in the Old Testament which prefigured that Passover of Christ, wherein He gave us His Own Body and Blood on Maundy Thursday Night, the true beginning of His Passion, but of the lamb lying down with the lion, the Messianic Age instituted by Christ while on earth.

O truly necessary sin of Adam,
destroyed completely by the Death of Christ!

O happy fault
that earned for us so great, so glorious a Redeemer!

O certe necessárium Adæ peccátum,
quod Christi morte delétum est!

O felix culpa,
quæ talem ac tantum méruit habére Redemptórem!

The reminder of the Harrowing of Hell, which we say in the Creed, points to Adam and Eve's freedom, as well as our own.

O truly blessed night,
worthy alone to know the time and hour
when Christ rose from the underworld!

O vere beáta nox,
quæ sola méruit scire tempus et horam,
in qua Christus ab ínferis resurréxit!

So the crib on Christmas Eve, the Christmas tree, which comes from the Medieval Paradise Tree, bring us to the mysteries of Holy Week. From Eden to Gethsemane, from death to life, from sin to redemption, we move in grace.

So, the mosquitoes of Malta bring me to the contemplation of this life of sin, disorder, and pain to the goal of our lives, heaven with God. Such is the cycle of grace. Such is the end of my meditation on this time of pilgrimage on earth.

Writing in Darkness

I have been wondering when to give up the blog as things are heating up.

I am a mum as well as a blogger.

St. Paul wrote under house arrest. He kept going until he could do no more.

The point of not being able to do more is coming soon.

I was warned by God that October was the time of purgatory and transition. But, what comes next is not clear.

So it has been, not only for me, but the entire Church.

I am waiting for the sign to know when to throw in the towel--Malta, then.....I pray that St. Paul tells me what to do next, clearly. This place is my Eden and my Gethsemane.

Acts 28 Douay-Rheims 

28 And when we had escaped, then we knew that the island was called Melita. But the barbarians shewed us no small courtesy.

2 For kindling a fire, they refreshed us all, because of the present rain, and of the cold.

3 And when Paul had gathered together a bundle of sticks, and had laid them on the fire, a viper coming out of the heat, fastened on his hand.

4 And when the barbarians saw the beast hanging on his hand, they said one to another: Undoubtedly this man is a murderer, who though he hath escaped the sea, yet vengeance doth not suffer him to live.

5 And he indeed shaking off the beast into the fire, suffered no harm.

6 But they supposed that he would begin to swell up, and that he would suddenly fall down and die. But expecting long, and seeing that there came no harm to him, changing their minds, they said, that he was a god.

7 Now in these places were possessions of the chief man of the island, named Publius, who receiving us, for three days entertained us courteously.

8 And it happened that the father of Publius lay sick of a fever, and of a bloody flux. To whom Paul entered in; and when he had prayed, and laid his hands on him, he healed him.

St.Publius, first bishop and martyr of Malta

9 Which being done, all that had diseases in the island, came and were healed:

10 Who also honoured us with many honours, and when we were to set sail, they laded us with such things as were necessary.

11 And after three months, we sailed in a ship of Alexandria, that had wintered in the island, whose sign was the Castors.

12 And when we were come to Syracusa, we tarried there three days.

13 From thence, compassing by the shore, we came to Rhegium: and after one day, the south wind blowing, we came the second day to Puteoli;

14 Where, finding brethren, we were desired to tarry with them seven days: and so we went to Rome.

15 And from thence, when the brethren had heard of us, they came to meet us as far as Appii Forum, and the Three Taverns: whom when Paul saw, he gave thanks to God, and took courage.

16 And when we were come to Rome, Paul was suffered to dwell by himself, with a soldier that kept him.

17 And after the third day, he called together the chief of the Jews. And when they were assembled, he said to them: Men, brethren, I, having done nothing against the people, or the custom of our fathers, was delivered prisoner from Jerusalem into the hands of the Romans;

18 Who, when they had examined me, would have released me, for that there was no cause of death in me;

19 But the Jews contradicting it, I was constrained to appeal unto Caesar; not that I had any thing to accuse my nation of.

20 For this cause therefore I desired to see you, and to speak to you. Because that for the hope of Israel, I am bound with this chain.

21 But they said to him: We neither received letters concerning thee from Judea, neither did any of the brethren that came hither, relate or speak any evil of thee.

22 But we desire to hear of thee what thou thinkest; for as concerning this sect, we know that it is everywhere contradicted.

23 And when they had appointed him a day, there came very many to him unto his lodgings; to whom he expounded, testifying the kingdom of God, and persuading them concerning Jesus, out of the law of Moses and the prophets, from morning until evening.

24 And some believed the things that were said; but some believed not.

25 And when they agreed not among themselves, they departed, Paul speaking this one word: Well did the Holy Ghost speak to our fathers by Isaias the prophet,

26 Saying: Go to this people, and say to them: With the ear you shall hear, and shall not understand; and seeing you shall see, and shall not perceive.

27 For the heart of this people is grown gross, and with their ears have they heard heavily, and their eyes they have shut; lest perhaps they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them.

28 Be it known therefore to you, that this salvation of God is sent to the Gentiles, and they will hear it.

29 And when he had said these things, the Jews went out from him, having much reasoning among themselves.

Paul ended up in the Mamertine Prison

30 And he remained two whole years in his own hired lodging; and he received all that came in to him,

31 Preaching the kingdom of God, and teaching the things which concern the Lord Jesus Christ, with all confidence, without prohibition.

Gethsemane and Eden Seven

Love is from God. So, if He takes a loved one from us, He is merely testing the love He gave us to see if we have appropriated love correctly. Gethsemane and Eden meet.

All real love is God. Here is one of St. John's treatises on love.

1 John 4:7-21Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition 

7 Beloved, let us love one another; for love is of God, and he who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 He who does not love does not know God; for God is love. 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love, not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the expiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No man has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.

13 By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his own Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son as the Savior of the world. 15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. 16 So we know and believe the love God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 17 In this is love perfected with us, that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and he who fears is not perfected in love. 19 We love, because he first loved us. 20 If any one says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot[a] love God whom he has not seen. 21 And this commandment we have from him, that he who loves God should love his brother also.

Several points here. One, God perfects love in us if we really love one another.

Two, He lives in us in that love.

Three, we know this, because we are in sanctifying grace and have the Holy Spirit in us.

Four, this love gives us confidence at the hour of our death, at the edge of the particular judgement, because fear has been destroyed in us and all we have is confidence in God.

Five, if one loves, there is not any fear of suffering and in fact, suffering become joyful.

Six, but one must love whoever God puts in our track. We love those God shows us to love.

One of my good friends who is on his way of becoming a saint recently said to me, "I am getting used to giving things up." Such is the way of love.

More from John...love is truth and accepting orthodoxy.............He writes to the Church. whom he calls "Lady".

2 John 1 Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition 

1 The elder[a] to the elect lady[b] and her children, whom I love in the truth, and not only I but also all who know the truth, 2 because of the truth which abides in us and will be with us for ever:

3 Grace, mercy, and peace will be with us, from God the Father and from Jesus Christ the Father’s Son, in truth and love.

4 I rejoiced greatly to find some of your children following the truth, just as we have been commanded by the Father. 5 And now I beg you, lady, not as though I were writing you a new commandment, but the one we have had from the beginning, that we love one another. 6 And this is love, that we follow his commandments; this is the commandment, as you have heard from the beginning, that you follow love. 7 For many deceivers have gone out into the world, men who will not acknowledge the coming of Jesus Christ in the flesh; such a one is the deceiver and the antichrist. 8 Look to yourselves, that you may not lose what you[c] have worked for, but may win a full reward. 9 Any one who goes ahead and does not abide in the doctrine of Christ does not have God; he who abides in the doctrine has both the Father and the Son. 10 If any one comes to you and does not bring this doctrine, do not receive him into the house or give him any greeting; 11 for he who greets him shares his wicked work.

Good words for today....to be continued