Repost on Priest's Wives

Sunday, 26 January 2014

The Vocation of The Priest's Wife and The Three Marys

Posted by Supertradmum

Because for many months, I was close to some Ordinariate priests and met and talked with some of the wives when I was in England, even briefly, I observed a key to the mystery of the married Ordinariate priest which I would like to share. I have also met other women in the role of  "priest wives".

The Catholic people on the whole are not accustomed to the vicar's wife. Indeed, when we lived in Petersfield years ago, it took the parish several months to accept a married ex-Anglican, now Catholic priest for a pastor. The objections were all based on ignorance and prejudice and in the end, the priest and his wife were not only happily accepted, but greatly loved.

The problem with the normal person in the pew is that these Catholics do not understand that if the husband, who is a Catholic priest has a vocation, his wife has a vocation as well. I understand this vocation of the priest's wife, which is more than being the wife of a man who happens to be a priest, and a mother to his children.

The vocation of the priest's wife consists of the greatest sacrifice a woman can give to the Church, her husband to take on another Bride, the Bride of Christ, which is the Church

The priest's wife is not the first woman in the priest's life She is the third woman in the priest's life, and yet, a great support to his ministry, a point to which I shall return.

The First Woman in the heart of the married priest is the Bride of Christ, the one, true, holy, Catholic and apostolic Church. He is her protector, her guide, her spouse as he is alter Christus.

The Second Woman in the heart of the married priest is the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Theotokos, the Mother of us all. The priest takes her guidance and love and honors her above all women.

The Third Woman is his wife. And, this wife is the servant of the servant. If she is a stay-at-home mom, she organizes the life of the priest so that he can maximize his day of service to the Church. She is not first, ever, and must be scheduled, and disciplined.

If the Third Woman has a job out of necessity, in order to help support the priest and family, as so many now must after losing their pensions, houses, and other goods by converting to the Catholic Church, even having to go back to work to make ends meet, this job is the gift she gives to not only the family, but to the Church, easing the financial burden of a diocese or the Ordinariate.

If the Third Woman is called to be active in the daily workings of the Church, especially if the children are grown and gone, her relationship with the parish will demand her time and gifts, and she will support the work of her husband as he sees fit. I know one priest's wife who does so many things that she is just as busy as he is.

A priest's wife has been called by God to give her husband to the Church, and to the world. She knows that she is called to serve, and to sacrifice the normal comforts of married life.

She will not be rich, or have the normal aspirations of a married woman in the world of the laity, because even though she is lay, she has a vocation to be in the world, and not of the world in a direct manner.

Her world is one like the women who served Christ and His apostles, so that they could live out the vocation of the apostolic call.

I greatly honor the wives of the priests of the Ordinariate and other priest's wives who have come in via different manners into the Catholic Church. May we honor them as we would honor those women at the foot of the Cross.

Like the married women, a mother of a priest sacrifices the time and attention of a son, grandchildren and all the protection and love a son would give to a mother is he were not married to the Bride of Christ. Mothers of priests should understand priest's wives from the perspective of giving up a natural relationship for a supernatural one, as these sons and these husbands do not belong to us, but to God.

 "Now there stood by the cross of Jesus His mother, and His mother’s sister, Mary [the wife] of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene." We call these women, Mary Salome, Mary wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene, the Three Marys, or the Three Maries. Mary Salome, wife of  Zebedee and mother of the "Sons of Thunder," James and John, aided Christ and His apostles and stood watching the horror of the Passion and Death of Our Lord. Like Mary the Mother of God, she is one of my models

These women ministered to Christ, set aside their own status, their own resources, their own lives for the sake of the Gospel.

So, too, do our sisters who are the wives of our Catholic priests.

Friendship in the Lord, Two or Three!

I have many friends and several great friends. The one thing my closest friends and I have in common is friendship in the Lord. This phrase indicates that we put God first, always, in our lives, and family, friends, work, play, seconds.

Perhaps the greatest virtue, besides the love of God and love of His Church, which I share with these few close friends, is detachment. We are not dependent upon each other in a worldly manner. In fact, when we speak together, we talk of the things of God, not the things of men. Our conversations center around the spiritual life, prayer, miracles, saints, intercessions, and Scripture.

My sister-friends love God and love His Church. My closest brother-friends love God and love His Church. These friends also, of course, love Mary, Our Mother. Ties may been made on other principles, such as sharing activities when our children were young, or Church activities, but those ties quickly changed into something deeper and more lasting-love of Christ, the Bridegroom.

I am blessed in my friends, whom I rarely see. Without the cell phones or Internet, we would be even farther apart. But, with some of my friends, we can not talk to each other for months and still pick up as if distance and time did not matter. Such is real friendship in the Lord, which transcends time and space.

When we get to heaven, God willing, our primary relationship with each other will be brothers and sisters in Christ. How sad that too many Catholics do not know what this means. I know Catholics who do not know how to be a brother or a sister, perhaps never having Christian relationships in the home, or, worse, only relating from a sexual foundation. This twisting of friendship cannot be tolerated in those who desire friendship in the Lord. No manipulation or unsaid desires can impinge on true friendship, which must be free of compulsion or constraints, either psychological, emotional, physical or spiritual.

In times past, especially in American who experienced immigration and prairie life, distance and time destroyed family ties, almost forcing the small communities to rely on the local churches. And, indeed, in the Midwest, where I am now for a short period of time, until I cross the Mississippi, people congregated around the pastor, either Catholic or Lutheran or Methodist, in this area, an formed communities based on friendship in the Lord.

These types of communities have faded in modern times. Except for a few parishes where I have experienced real community, such as in Alberta with the Byzantine Catholics, or in Alaska, with Catholics dedicated to real Catholic education, or in Mississippi, after Katrina, when all were working for a common cause, I have not encountered true community life since I left a highly organized one in 1979. That community taught me what friendship in the Lord was really about....freedom.

Freedom in friendship must be a topic rarely raised. Commitment demands that a person has incorporated some freedom in their personal lives. I am convinced that only in relationships of marriage or in a community of religious, such as a monastery or convent can people become mature enough for real friendship in the Lord.

There are so few really, truly unselfish people. Most of us have some level of self-love which needs to be destroyed before one can experience the freedom necessary for friendship in the Lord. It is not that we have to be perfect in order to enter into real friendship, but a certain amount of distance and detachment is necessary. Without some emotional distance, one falls into the same patterns of falsity one did before conversion, or in dysfunctional families.

Friendship in the Lord happens when one decides to follow Christ and take the life of virtues seriously. As one gets closer to Christ, one is able to love in a righteous manner. Dying to self creates real friendships. Only when one is through the purification of the emotions and the senses can one truly be a friend.

Friendship in the Lord Part Four

I am concerned about the virtual community members reading the many, many Catholic blogs across the world. I am concerned when people write to me that they are completely isolated in their own areas, in American states, in European countries, in other nations across the globe. These good Catholics, who write to me or even speak with me, tell me that they are the only awake and orthodox Catholics in their parishes, where too many Catholics have compromised their consciences, and where their fellow Catholics are quite open about their disobedience to Catholic teaching. One cannot have friendships in the Lord with those who choose disobedience.

These good, obedient people, who have contacted me, from Australia, from Britain, from Germany, from New York, from Minnesota, and many other places, tell me that they are completely marginalized and alone in their remnant status.

Thinking about this problem and the loneliness of so many excellent Catholics, who are praying and doing penance for the Church, I have come to the sad conclusion that the virtual community, as much as it helps me, fails most Catholics who are on line.

Yes, these Catholics can write to me and Michael Voris, or Father Z., and say, "I am so glad I found you, as I was feeling so alone."

But, the truth is, these good people are physically alone. 

The virtual community has created some real community in some areas. I know this personally and am very glad of this. But, for the most part, those who have sought fellowship through twitter or the blogosphere remain separated from real Catholic community.

This fact not only grieves me, but shows me the depth of the problem of the smallness of the remnant.
When people in large metropolitan areas cannot find respectful, valid, or legal liturgies, cannot find real Catholic schools, cannot find a spouse, cannot find a spiritual director, I am saddened and realize that this situation will spread and become worse.

The isolation of real, practicing Catholics has not changed because of the virtual communities. Yes, we know we are not alone, but like those in Australia who write to me, miles separate people from meeting and becoming real brothers and sisters in Christ.

I have been more fortunate than most, in that the virtual community has brought me great friends and some benefactors. My Christian lady virtual friend who is purchasing bedding for me is one example. Yet, I would love to be in a real, daily Christian community. One reason I have wanted to stay in Europe is that I have found such groupings and miss those friends in Christ deeply.

It takes time to build on the ground, intentional communities. It takes energy. Yesterday, I spoke with a good Christian man who desires community and has lived in a wasteland of liberal Catholicism too long. He wants to pod. I had a note from a good woman who desperately wants community in her area and is praying for a young priest whom she thinks has the capacity to help create such in her city.

But, time is running out in some areas of the world. In America, only one crisis, either man-made or from weather, could shut down all the highways and put the entire nation under travel restrictions. We saw this in New York only weeks ago. Our movements will be curtailed and those who desire real community may never experience such friendship in the Lord.

I have tried for a long time on this blog to encourage community. I have failed in my attempts to inspire people to move, to seek out like-minded Catholics, to truly sacrifice personal comfort for the greater good of a community.

I have a friend who was in a famous Protestant community for most of his life. He told me one time, years ago, that community was very hard, but worth it. He left in order to marry someone outside the community, but the experience of friendships in the Lord mark him as someone who understands the Early Church.

I was in community for seven years. Again, I left it in order to pursue graduate studies and move out into the world, where God was calling me. I do not regret leaving that community so long ago, as that was God's Will for me, but I have never found anything like it in my travels. I also experienced and help create community when home-schooling, and when helping to set up real Catholic schools. It seems that the desire for community was more alive from 1971 to 2001, than now. I hope the desire in some hearts becomes reality.

I know that those in communities will be able to survive, spiritually, in the coming months when the Church faces the biggest challenge since Arianism once the Supreme Court passes same-sex marriage. As an excellent priest told his congregation when Great Britain passed the law years ago, "Your children and grandchildren will face a different world than you have had. You have no idea what is coming."

He was and is correct. The Church in America will split over this new decision. Many bishops will uphold the decision and decide to work with evil. Some bishops will stand up for the true teaching of Christ and His Church and be persecuted. Fines will be followed by church closures, bankruptcies of local dioceses, and the splitting of parishes.

Those Catholics who are isolated now will be more so then. I cannot inspire those who do not see or do not want to move into areas where there are communities already. I have failed in this task online.

Sadly, too many of the TLM communities are under attack or are facing dropping numbers in certain areas owing to changes in priests or the natural movement of people. In some cases, those who are attending the TLM do not want community. I have friends in TLM groups who have been trying to set up communities since before the Summorum Pontificum.  They, too, have failed to inspire others with the vision.

As I go into a place where I shall be more isolated and far from my small communities, from those few I have met who want to build real friendships in the Lord, but who cannot find others who want to do so, I am saddened. But, I must and do trust in Divine Providence.

For those who are succeeding in this endeavor, please write to me on this blog so I can share the good news with others. Some people who have contacted me are willing to move, but do not know where to go.

One of the tragedies has been something I first encountered in 2006, and this is that too many Catholic married couples are not of one mind on this topic. So many wives have told me over the years that they have wanted to move into real communities, but their husbands have not been open to this prospect. That a couple is not of one mind on the building of the Kingdom of God is a tragedy and causes great suffering for those who have had to give up their vision for friendships in the Lord.

The so-called splendid isolation of those who refuse to consider community may be based on fear, selfishness, sloth, or, more likely, consumerism and status. One must die to self to join others in building community. But, in my opinion, community is a necessity, not an option.

Pray for me that I can join those I have friendships in the Lord again. I miss all those with whom I have shared community, J, J, C, C, C, K, S, M, M, S, M, T, D, Fr. C., and others--a remnant, indeed. I pray for you who desire the building of the Kingdom of God on earth.

I pray that those who have hesitated no longer do so but act. I pray for the couples who need to come together in vision. I pray for those single people who have desired lay community life in the great urban ares, in agricultural towns, in mountain villages, and remain isolated with their God. I pray for myself and others who are old and have not found the support they need in parishes which ignore the elderly and shun those who are poor. Pray for me that I can return to "my people".

May all my readers on this virtual community discover or build physical communities before the curtain of darkness falls on our lands.

Psalm 133

The Blessedness of Unity

A Song of Ascents.

1 How very good and pleasant it is
    when kindred live together in unity!
2 It is like the precious oil on the head,
    running down upon the beard,
on the beard of Aaron,
    running down over the collar of his robes.
3 It is like the dew of Hermon,
    which falls on the mountains of Zion.
For there the Lord ordained his blessing,
    life forevermore.

Passing Up Angels....Friendship in the Lord Part Three

From today's readings...there is no such thing as coincidence.

http://uploads2.wikiart.org/images/james-tissot/abraham-and-the-three-angels.jpg

Hebrews 13:1-8New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition 

Service Well-Pleasing to God

13 Let mutual love continue. 2 Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it.3 Remember those who are in prison, as though you were in prison with them; those who are being tortured, as though you yourselves were being tortured.[a]4 Let marriage be held in honor by all, and let the marriage bed be kept undefiled; for God will judge fornicators and adulterers. 5 Keep your lives free from the love of money, and be content with what you have; for he has said, “I will never leave you or forsake you.” 6 So we can say with confidence,

“The Lord is my helper;
    I will not be afraid.
What can anyone do to me?”

7 Remember your leaders, those who spoke the word of God to you; consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith. 8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Part one

http://supertradmum-etheldredasplace.blogspot.com/2015/02/friendship-in-lord.html

The Universal Church-Friendship in the Lord Two

The Roman Catholic Church has been, for a very long time, called the "one, holy, Catholic, and apostolic Church".  What universal means may be misunderstood by the vast majority of Catholics.

Today, I want to reference the CCC on this point of the Church being universal and what that attribute actually means to the person in the pew.

First, an overview.


811 "This is the sole Church of Christ, which in the Creed we profess to be one, holy, catholic and apostolic."²⁵⁶ These four characteristics, inseparably linked with each other,²⁵⁷ indicate essential features of the Church and her mission. The Church does not possess them of herself; it is Christ who, through the Holy Spirit, makes his Church one, holy, catholic, and apostolic, and it is he who calls her to realize each of these qualities.
812 Only faith can recognize that the Church possesses these properties from her divine source. But their historical manifestations are signs that also speak clearly to human reason. As the First Vatican Council noted, the "Church herself, with her marvelous propagation, eminent holiness, and inexhaustible fruitfulness in everything good, her catholic unity and invincible stability, is a great and perpetual motive of credibility and an irrefutable witness of her divine mission."²⁵⁸


The Church as universal indicates that communities join in this aspect of Catholicity.

What does "catholic" mean?
830 The word "catholic" means "universal," in the sense of "according to the totality" or "in keeping with the whole." The Church is catholic in a double sense:
First, the Church is catholic because Christ is present in her. "Where there is Christ Jesus, there is the Catholic Church."³⁰⁷ In her subsists the fullness of Christ's body united with its head; this implies that she receives from him "the fullness of the means of salvation"³⁰⁸ which he has willed: correct and complete confession of faith, full sacramental life, and ordained ministry in apostolic succession. The Church was, in this fundamental sense, catholic on the day of Pentecost³⁰⁹ and will always be so until the day of the Parousia.
831 Secondly, the Church is catholic because she has been sent out by Christ on a mission to the whole of the human race:³¹⁰

All men are called to belong to the new People of God. This People, therefore, while remaining one and only one, is to be spread throughout the whole world and to all ages in order that the design of God's will may be fulfilled: he made human nature one in the beginning and has decreed that all his children who were scattered should be finally gathered together as one. . . . The character of universality which adorns the People of God is a gift from the Lord himself whereby the Catholic Church ceaselessly and efficaciously seeks for the return of all humanity and all its goods, under Christ the Head in the unity of his Spirit.³¹¹

Each particular Church is "catholic"
832 "The Church of Christ is really present in all legitimately organized local groups of the faithful, which, in so far as they are united to their pastors, are also quite appropriately called Churches in the New Testament. . . . In them the faithful are gathered together through the preaching of the Gospel of Christ, and the mystery of the Lord's Supper is celebrated. . . . In these communities, though they may often be small and poor, or existing in the diaspora, Christ is present, through whose power and influence the One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church is constituted."³¹²
833 The phrase "particular Church," which is first of all the diocese (or eparchy), refers to a community of the Christian faithful in communion of faith and sacraments with their bishop ordained in apostolic succession.³¹³ These particular Churches "are constituted after the model of the universal Church; it is in these and formed out of them that the one and unique Catholic Church exists."³¹⁴
834 Particular Churches are fully catholic through their communion with one of them, the Church of Rome "which presides in charity."³¹⁵ "For with this church, by reason of its pre-eminence, the whole Church, that is the faithful everywhere, must necessarily be in accord."³¹⁶ Indeed, "from the incarnate Word's descent to us, all Christian churches everywhere have held and hold the great Church that is here [at Rome] to be their only basis and foundation since, according to the Savior's promise, the gates of hell have never prevailed against her."³¹⁷
835 "Let us be very careful not to conceive of the universal Church as the simple sum, or . . . the more or less anomalous federation of essentially different particular churches. In the mind of the Lord the Church is universal by vocation and mission, but when she put down her roots in a variety of cultural, social, and human terrains, she takes on different external expressions and appearances in each part of the world."³¹⁸ The rich variety of ecclesiastical disciplines, liturgical rites, and theological and spiritual heritages proper to the local churches "unified in a common effort, shows all the more resplendently the catholicity of the undivided Church."³¹⁹
Who belongs to the Catholic Church?
836 "All men are called to this catholic unity of the People of God. . . . And to it, in different ways, belong or are ordered: the Catholic faithful, others who believe in Christ, and finally all mankind, called by God's grace to salvation."³²⁰
837 "Fully incorporated into the society of the Church are those who, possessing the Spirit of Christ, accept all the means of salvation given to the Church together with her entire organization, and who - by the bonds constituted by the profession of faith, the sacraments, ecclesiastical government, and communion - are joined in the visible structure of the Church of Christ, who rules her through the Supreme Pontiff and the bishops. Even though incorporated into the Church, one who does not however persevere in charity is not saved. He remains indeed in the bosom of the Church, but 'in body' not 'in heart.'"³²¹
838 "The Church knows that she is joined in many ways to the baptized who are honored by the name of Christian, but do not profess the Catholic faith in its entirety or have not preserved unity or communion under the successor of Peter."³²² Those "who believe in Christ and have been properly baptized are put in a certain, although imperfect, communion with the Catholic Church."³²³ With the Orthodox Churches, this communion is so profound "that it lacks little to attain the fullness that would permit a common celebration of the Lord's Eucharist."³²⁴

Catholicity is the opposite of provincialism. The idea of the "local" church being the only Church came in with the Protestant revolt. One forgets that even in ancient times, the bishop's cathedral was the center of church life, and the rise of pilgrimages added to the sense of unity in catholicity with all Catholics.

Thus, Christendom was born from the real understanding of the unity and catholicity of the Church.

Catholicity and unity are connected. The Protestants do not have unity, nor catholicity-their churches cannot claim such attributes. Too many people have a protestant attitude about their own church experience. They fall into a gross provincialism which excludes the ideal set by Christ of unity with the Trinity throughout the world.

The real Church, the Catholic Church, reflects this unity and catholicity only.

But, this has been forgotten or set aside in America especially, much more than in Europe, where Catholics go back and forth between "national churches", moving out of cultural comfort zones into the reality of the one, true, holy, catholic and apostolic Church.

That Catholics marry outside their national and ethnic groups proves the hierarchy of both catholicity and unity. Our Faith transcends boundaries. What has happened in America is the two-fold resurrection of the heresy of Americanism, discussed on this blog in early days, and the fact that people have separated themselves into groupings which are not Catholic communities.

More on this in Part Three...

813 The Church is one because of her source: "the highest exemplar and source of this mystery is the unity, in the Trinity of Persons, of one God, the Father and the Son in the Holy Spirit."²⁵⁹ The Church is one because of her founder: for "the Word made flesh, the prince of peace, reconciled all men to God by the cross, . . . restoring the unity of all in one people and one body."²⁶⁰ The Church is one because of her "soul": "It is the Holy Spirit, dwelling in those who believe and pervading and ruling over the entire Church, who brings about that wonderful communion of the faithful and joins them together so intimately in Christ that he is the principle of the Church's unity."²⁶¹ Unity is of the essence of the Church:

What an astonishing mystery! There is one Father of the universe, one Logos of the universe, and also one Holy Spirit, everywhere one and the same; there is also one virgin become mother, and I should like to call her "Church."²⁶²

814 From the beginning, this one Church has been marked by a great diversity which comes from both the variety of God's gifts and the diversity of those who receive them. Within the unity of the People of God, a multiplicity of peoples and cultures is gathered together. Among the Church's members, there are different gifts, offices, conditions, and ways of life. "Holding a rightful place in the communion of the Church there are also particular Churches that retain their own traditions."²⁶³ The great richness of such diversity is not opposed to the Church's unity. Yet sin and the burden of its consequences constantly threaten the gift of unity. And so the Apostle has to exhort Christians to "maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."²⁶⁴
815 What are these bonds of unity? Above all, charity "binds everything together in perfect harmony."²⁶⁵ But the unity of the pilgrim Church is also assured by visible bonds of communion:
- profession of one faith received from the Apostles;
-common celebration of divine worship, especially of the sacraments;
- apostolic succession through the sacrament of Holy Orders, maintaining the fraternal concord of God's family.²⁶⁶
816 "The sole Church of Christ [is that] which our Savior, after his Resurrection, entrusted to Peter's pastoral care, commissioning him and the other apostles to extend and rule it. . . . This Church, constituted and organized as a society in the present world, subsists in (subsistit in) the Catholic Church, which is governed by the successor of Peter and by the bishops in communion with him."²⁶⁷

The Second Vatican Council's Decree on Ecumenism explains: "For it is through Christ's Catholic Church alone, which is the universal help toward salvation, that the fullness of the means of salvation can be obtained. It was to the apostolic college alone, of which Peter is the head, that we believe that our Lord entrusted all the blessings of the New Covenant, in order to establish on earth the one Body of Christ into which all those should be fully incorporated who belong in any way to the People of God."²⁶

Friendship in the Lord

Many years ago, about 1974 to be exact, I remember reading a book by Father Paul Hinnebusch, Friendship in the Lord.

This book is now out-of-print. However, as I was in a lay community for seven years, I learned what this meant from experience and not merely from a book. I think the confusion about lay communities stems from the fact that people have never seen one or read about such.

The Anabaptists, of course, have communities, such as the Bruderhof, and the various Amish and Mennonite communities. These Protestants began their movements as mostly agrarian groups, purposefully separated from urban life, and from the evils surrounding their worlds, such as the compromises made by the Lutheran bishops under Nazism.

Catholic communities, and, indeed, the first communities mentioned in Acts, were urban. It was not until the fall of the Roman Empire that the Church moved out into the countryside. This movement out of the cities, a Catholic Diaspora, helped spread the Gospel, and created the monastic orders, specifically Benedictinism. Recall that St. Benedict's order grew out of the decay following the lack of order after the fall of Rome. His own father was a governor, as the local governments continued using Roman law and order, when possible, even after Rome was ruined.

The combination of law, order and Catholicism created new communities, in addition to the urban ones. It was never the intention of the communities, as seen working in Acts, to isolate themselves from the great cities of the time. In fact, if one also remembers the churches mentioned in the Book of Revelation, one sees that these seven churches were found in the largest cities in the Middle East, especially in the Levant, at the time.

Urban life now seems to be horribly anti-communal, and the suburban life-style, which I never lived, preferring to live in cities, or in towns or villages, dictates against communal life.

I have seen neighborhoods here in New Jersey full of McMansions and no sidewalks. Bedroom commuter neighborhoods by definition are anti-communal.

The strip malls I see here are also anti-communal. One parks a car in front of a store, shops and leaves. There is no place for gathering or even sitting down with friends.

Perhaps this is one reason I love Europe as the smaller villages have community still, and the cities are built on the old communal squares or gathering places. One sees one's friends by walking to church, for example.

Urban sprawl kills communities which existed in older times. For those who are younger than I am, the memory of community simply is not there in the imagination.

We lived in Catholic ghettos, or with other Protestant families who were still having children. People were in each others' houses. Of course, the inflation which hit America in the late 1970s, forced some women to have to work instead of being stay-at-home moms if a certain lifestyle was desired, In my own married life, we chose a simpler lifestyle on purpose in order for me to stay at home and home school.

Such are the choices people make.

However, the ideal of friendship in the Lord, which is found in real communities, seems a dream to many Catholics. Friendship takes time and detachment, and is not based on false, societal class structures, but on the sharing of resources and talents.

Many of us in the community movement in the States now so long ago learned how to have happy, prayerful families. Single people met like-minded single people, which created good marriages based on Godliness and not modern disorders of sex and false romance.

To be in a community meant that those who chose to do so had spiritual direction on a regular basis, and also, the teaching of how to become a servant. In fact, our community had something called "servant school". Dying to self, like those who lived in large families in the past experienced, became part of daily life.

Friendship in the Lord means first of all that one has a relationship with Christ which can be shared with others. and that one wants to live for and in Christ, building the Kingdom of God and not the Kingdom of Man.

Years ago, I had the delight in one college in which I was an instructor, to teach St. Augustine's City of God. This book should be read by all Catholics, and if God allows me some stability, perhaps I can share some of my notes, still floating around my head, with my readers here. At the time I was teaching this book, in the early 2000s, most of my friends were involved in the pro-life movement. Some were even in "rescue".  These people met at each other's houses, including mine, and prayed together, discussing pro-life issues, and the ministries coming out of the concern for pro-life issues.

This group was a small community. We shared dinners, were in each others' houses, and helped each other sharing talents. I was working and homeschooling, and out of this group, I tutored a girl with special needs, whose foster-mother needed help. And, so on.

Out of this group, came homeschooling sharing of talents as well. Many of those involved went to the local TLM even before the Summorum Pontificum.

The group broke up as some of us had to move away for other jobs, one key person moving to California and one going into a convent. However, like my earlier community experience, it was clear that working for the Kingdom of God formed the center of our focus.

Community will be essential in the days which are coming upon us quickly. Those who are strong need to help those who are weak. Those who are weak need to grow and learn to trust in Divine Providence more directly, more intensely.

When I encouraged readers a long time ago to pod, I was hoping that some would see the immediate need for such movements towards community. The time is coming quickly when people will not be able to move into neighborhoods with other Catholics. The time is coming quickly when the isolation of surburbia will become a real prison.

Too many people tell me that they would move into pods but that their spouses do not agree. These couples need to pray together so that one mind can be found on these issues. Women need to learn obedience to their husbands, if their husbands want to take the lead in the formation of community.

Perhaps because my generation came out of big families, where we learned how to share from little on, it was easier than those who have grown up with their own private bedrooms and all the luxuries of middle-class income families. I do not know if that is a problem for some-giving up "individualism" for the sake of the Kingdom.

There is no doubt that the Church grew in persecution because of the communities. That the Holy Spirit left us traces of this history in the Acts of the Apostles proves the importance of communal life.

To be wholly human, one must learn to have friendships in the Lord.

Part One...to be continued