A Re-post for My Sisters in The Lord

Especially for C, J, S, D, J, S, T, and others...
Saturday, 16 June 2012

A Meditation on Rebekah for My Sisters Online

Posted by Supertradmum

The women of the Old Testament came into their own in the Catholic Church when I was in my twenties, as Bible Studies for the home and church groups became popular. However, I grew up with the Bible, perhaps an usual scenario for a Catholic family in the 1950s and 1960s, but we had Bible Study in my Catholic school and I had my own Bible, which I loved, illustrated not only with beautiful pictures, but with photos from the Holy Land. The drawings were by an order of nuns. I gave it away years ago to another child.

One of my favorite women, who is human and not as perfect as a saint, is Rebekah. Her caring spirit led her to happiness. Now, for some reason, I have always liked camels. I have actually ridden on a camel in the past, and would do so again. I like the fact that they as "ships of the desert", strong, resilient, and fast, apparently. The one I rode went at a leisurely pace.

Rebekah gave water to the servant of Abraham, Eliezer, and to his camels. Maybe that is one reason I like the story so much. She took care of the man and the animals quite freely and drawing water for thirsty camels, and some commentaries state there were ten, would take a long time, perhaps all morning. Some commentators have noted that the girl would have made 34 trips to the well, based on how much water the typical camel would take after a journey and how much water she could hold in her jar. This girl was not selfish! And, she was strong of mind and body, as well, as the Book of Genesis tells us, beautiful. I like Rebekah. She is a woman of the prairie, if I may use that term, like my ancestors, those women who worked hard and were kind and generous with whatever material things they had. Rebekah reminds us that if we are doing our duty, working hard at what God has called us to do, we shall be rewarded by His Grace. Rebekah was given gold and a nose ring, the signs of redemption. We have that sign of redemption through Jesus Christ in baptism

Rebekah met Eliezer at the well, always a sign of life in the Scriptures, whether in the Old or New Testament. Christ is the Living Water and this story points to the fulfillment of love in the New Covenant.

Rebekah freely , with her own will served Eliezer and his camels, but also, freely, agreed to the marriage to Isaac. She was asked if she would marry him and if she would leave her family and go back with Eliezer to Isaac. She said "yes". This was one brave girl. But, I would like to think that she answered in love. Love surrounds this story, as does the Presence of God. Eliezer prayed for a sign and  as soon as he prayed, his answer came. He trusted in God. Rebekah, a woman of virtue, responded in love and care to Eliezer and his needs.

I want to emphasize that, unusually for the time, Rebekah was asked whether she wanted to be married to the unknown Isaac. She replied "yes" and her yes led to life and goodness. She was given a gold coin and a nose ring, as I noted above, the sign of a person being redeemed from slavery at the time. We are redeemed and the sign of our redemption is the indelible mark we receive at baptism. All this is in Chapter 24. Free will is so important in our relationship with God. He desires that we love Him freely.

Rebekah had free will and she answered yes to a new life. To respond in the affirmative to God brings new life to people around us as well as to ourselves.

Be brave and kind, and like Rebekah, concentric circles of love and goodness will reach out to others from your soul.

One more note, Rebekah and Eliezer met at the well, always a sign of life in the Bible. Water was necessary for life and Christ is the Living Water, as He told the Woman at the Well.

Meetings at wells signify new life and conversion. Again, we are reminded of our baptisms. Live, love, give life, that is our role as Catholic women in the world

The Mystery of Love

As we have learned from the philosophers, and from the Pope Emeritus, there are different kinds of love. You may want to go back and look at my comments on Deus Caritas Est and Caritas in Veritate.

Recently, I have been observing middle-aged and even older friends experiencing a renewal of love in their good marriages. This has been a revelation to me, as I have not seen such rediscoveries of bridal love among couples for a long time. Sometimes, one sees this renewal in very old couples, like my parents, who at 92 and 87, love and respect each other openly more than ever before in their long marriage of 67 years.

Perhaps, just perhaps, it takes a long time for couples to rediscover that first love, after years of trials, tribulations, sufferings, illness, financial difficulties, problems with children and so on. These episodes, and, indeed, crises, either bring a couple closer together, or separate them forever. A couple must face suffering together, no longer looking merely at each other, but at the day that life has brought them, the struggle they must face together to overcome successfully.

I have witnessed women truly becoming helpmates, as God created a wife to be--a servant who is cherished and respected above all other women on earth. I have seen men become real protectors and spiritual leaders.

But, the real key to this rediscovery of bridal love must be the central love of God, the finding of the God Within, the awareness of the Indwelling of the Trinity in ones' self and in one's mate.

When a person finally gets in touch with the Trinity Who dwells within, life and love bubble up in a new fountain of grace. When both the man and wife discover God within, the chemistry becomes almost magical. This spiritual awareness in the couple is the great mystery of love--finally, the man and the woman have become truly one as God intended.

When God becomes the heart of the marriage, the heart of both hearts, bridal love is renewed.

For those who keep faithful to their marriage contract, this bridal love will happen if they keep God's commandments, especially the first one.

No other gods can replace God in a marriage, neither money, or status, or success, or possessions, or even children. The couple become one when God is first in each of their hearts, minds, imaginations, memories and wills.

This type of love is only possible when the couple share sanctifying grace. This type of love is only possible when the couple is traveling together towards God, attempting to bring each other to heaven, to the fullness of life in God.

And, this is only possible when love transcends all else, becoming, truly, agape love.

Only a man and a woman can become one in Christ.

Only a man and a woman can experience the renewal of bridal love.

Only in and with God can this bridal love occur, that first love, which renews itself in Christ until death parts the couple.

But, this love lasts as that of brother and sister in Christ in heaven, the real love of heaven, agape love.

Sacrificial love is another name for bridal love. And, yes, it is passionate, not only in the body, but in the soul. Zeal for each other's salvation marks this good love.

Those who experience this mystery of love renewed bring life into the Church in a way others cannot. This is the gift of true marriage to the Church-marriage in Christ, marriage according to God's plan.

I have never experienced living with a husband for years and years and coming to this renewal of mutual bridal love. But, I do understand and experience the bridal love for Christ, as His bride, as a single person, who has been blessed with such graces to know that Christ loves me eternally in a special way. He loves me as a woman in a unique contract of commitment and service where He leads me.

Singles can experience bridal love in one way-through their total giving of themselves to God directly, and not through another person. This is our call. It is another way to the discovery of the God within, the Indwelling of the Trinity.

God never denies love. He shapes all holy loves to His will. That is the mystery of love.

Repost on Priest's Wives

Sunday, 26 January 2014

The Vocation of The Priest's Wife and The Three Marys

Posted by Supertradmum

Because for many months, I was close to some Ordinariate priests and met and talked with some of the wives when I was in England, even briefly, I observed a key to the mystery of the married Ordinariate priest which I would like to share. I have also met other women in the role of  "priest wives".

The Catholic people on the whole are not accustomed to the vicar's wife. Indeed, when we lived in Petersfield years ago, it took the parish several months to accept a married ex-Anglican, now Catholic priest for a pastor. The objections were all based on ignorance and prejudice and in the end, the priest and his wife were not only happily accepted, but greatly loved.

The problem with the normal person in the pew is that these Catholics do not understand that if the husband, who is a Catholic priest has a vocation, his wife has a vocation as well. I understand this vocation of the priest's wife, which is more than being the wife of a man who happens to be a priest, and a mother to his children.

The vocation of the priest's wife consists of the greatest sacrifice a woman can give to the Church, her husband to take on another Bride, the Bride of Christ, which is the Church

The priest's wife is not the first woman in the priest's life She is the third woman in the priest's life, and yet, a great support to his ministry, a point to which I shall return.

The First Woman in the heart of the married priest is the Bride of Christ, the one, true, holy, Catholic and apostolic Church. He is her protector, her guide, her spouse as he is alter Christus.

The Second Woman in the heart of the married priest is the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Theotokos, the Mother of us all. The priest takes her guidance and love and honors her above all women.

The Third Woman is his wife. And, this wife is the servant of the servant. If she is a stay-at-home mom, she organizes the life of the priest so that he can maximize his day of service to the Church. She is not first, ever, and must be scheduled, and disciplined.

If the Third Woman has a job out of necessity, in order to help support the priest and family, as so many now must after losing their pensions, houses, and other goods by converting to the Catholic Church, even having to go back to work to make ends meet, this job is the gift she gives to not only the family, but to the Church, easing the financial burden of a diocese or the Ordinariate.

If the Third Woman is called to be active in the daily workings of the Church, especially if the children are grown and gone, her relationship with the parish will demand her time and gifts, and she will support the work of her husband as he sees fit. I know one priest's wife who does so many things that she is just as busy as he is.

A priest's wife has been called by God to give her husband to the Church, and to the world. She knows that she is called to serve, and to sacrifice the normal comforts of married life.

She will not be rich, or have the normal aspirations of a married woman in the world of the laity, because even though she is lay, she has a vocation to be in the world, and not of the world in a direct manner.

Her world is one like the women who served Christ and His apostles, so that they could live out the vocation of the apostolic call.

I greatly honor the wives of the priests of the Ordinariate and other priest's wives who have come in via different manners into the Catholic Church. May we honor them as we would honor those women at the foot of the Cross.

Like the married women, a mother of a priest sacrifices the time and attention of a son, grandchildren and all the protection and love a son would give to a mother is he were not married to the Bride of Christ. Mothers of priests should understand priest's wives from the perspective of giving up a natural relationship for a supernatural one, as these sons and these husbands do not belong to us, but to God.

 "Now there stood by the cross of Jesus His mother, and His mother’s sister, Mary [the wife] of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene." We call these women, Mary Salome, Mary wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene, the Three Marys, or the Three Maries. Mary Salome, wife of  Zebedee and mother of the "Sons of Thunder," James and John, aided Christ and His apostles and stood watching the horror of the Passion and Death of Our Lord. Like Mary the Mother of God, she is one of my models

These women ministered to Christ, set aside their own status, their own resources, their own lives for the sake of the Gospel.

So, too, do our sisters who are the wives of our Catholic priests.

An Unusual, Controversial Catholic Subject-Celibacy in Marriage Mark Three Repost

Monday, 16 January 2012

An Unusual, Controversial Catholic Subject-Celibacy in Marriage

Now, I am not married, but I live a celibate life-style. However, I have an increasing number of friends, traditional Catholics, who have opted for celibacy in their marriages. This is not a new ideal in the Church, and although Christ wants most married couples to be fruitful and multiply, that is, to have the wonderful children God desires them to have, there have been and are couples, who for the sake of the kingdom, have chosen a different way. Of course, the norm, having children as God gives, creates saints, such as Blessed Louis and  Blessed Zelie Martin, Blessed Karl and Empress Zita, SS. Joachim and Anna, SS. Isidore and Maria (who vowed abstinence later in their marriage), and so on. This is not an exhaustive list.

However, the emphasis on celibacy should be rare, but seen as a call within a call. I also think there has to be good reason for not having children. The grand example are two of my favorite Catholics, Jacques and Raissa Maritain, who on the Isle of Wight, as Benedictine Oblates, took a vow of celibacy "for the sake of the Kingdom". Raissa writes in her diary, which I practically have memorized, that it was difficult for her, but she could see that Jacques was called to be in the world and she was his prayer backup, companion in holiness, and confidant, as well as best-friend. They shared philosophy, theology, and the dedication to bringing the Gospel into the workplace in the extreme. God called them to this.

I first met celibate married couples about twenty-five years ago. The first couple I met were in their forties and had a close relationship with the Church and the priest who was the pastor. They were very active in the Church, but did not have normal marital relations. They had chosen that way and had married later in life. The man had been in the Jesuit seminary for years, but left, as he did not think he had a priestly vocation. He found a wife who would support him in his spiritual walk. The second couple I met were in their early sixties. They had decided that past child-bearing age, they would make a celibate commitment. Since then, I have met another couple who have decided the same thing. Their "extra" time is spent in good works, praying and fasting. Obviously, these couples have spiritual directors. This call within a call is, also, obviously, by mutual consent.

Those with a worldly mindset and even some good Catholics may find this call repelling or unnatural. I would say that this call is rare, but not unnatural. I think that those who decide to live in the world, or are called so by God to remain among the laity, can exhibit a variety of calls "for the sake of the Kingdom". And, to be in a relationship which is celibate may be a sign of contradiction to the world as well as giving two people the necessary, daily support a brother and sister in Christ may give to each other. Intimacy has many faces, and the physical side of intimacy is only one aspect of relationship. I have written this to support my friends who have chosen this way and to encourage those who feel the need for companionship without sex to be comforted in that they are not alone. We are all called to be saints, and there are many ways, in Christ, through Mary, to be saints.

In addition, God did not intend people to live all alone. The fact that there are so many single, lonely individuals needs to be addressed by the Church. Those who for whatever reason cannot be a priest or nun or sister, have some options, but loneliness should not be the norm. Church communities have failed, especially in America, to support their singles. Many Catholics are singles for many reasons. There exists a judgmental attitude, which excludes those singles from the larger interaction in the Church. And, for those who desire celibacy in the world, that is an option, but it does not have to equal loneliness. I am very fortunate, as I do not experience the gnawing type of loneliness some do. I may miss my dear friends when apart from them, but that is different than the vague experience of loneliness many feel. We all need to reach out to those who feel this need, pray for them, and include them in our busy lives. To do otherwise is not to be Christian.

God Makes New Doughnuts Every Day Mark Three

New things..,

One, I may have found a House of Prayer to rent, as I have not raised enough money on gofundme to buy. However, I still need more money for the rental. I shall share more about this if it becomes a reality. Please consider helping me rent this house in a perfect place for a contemplative lay house. More later. See side bar for link to gofundme.

Two, as you know, the blog will be morphing into something different by mid-August. Part of this morph is a forum, which someone is helping me set-up even as I write.

This forum will be for an extremely select group of women, wives of married priests.

I apologize to other readers who may feel "left-out", but I am responding to a ministerial need.

If you are a wife married to a  priest, Ordinariate or Pastoral Provision, I shall be inviting you to join the forum once it is established. This most likely will be established this week, I hope. Or in three weeks, at the latest. 

Start to spread the word on facebook, as I am not on facebook.

God makes new doughnuts everyday.

Answering Questions from Readers Today

Lord, teach me to be generous.

Teach me to serve you as you deserve;

to give and not to count the cost,

to fight and not to heed the wounds,

to toil and not to seek for rest,

to labor and not to ask for reward,

save that of knowing that I do your will. St. Ignatius 

Before beginning answering some questions from readers on detachment and humility, I have to say that this McDonald's in Springfield, IL, where I am for three weeks, is the worst Macs I have ever been in, worse than Valletta.

Cold burgers, cold fries, the staff cleans with bleach while people are eating and I am allergic to bleach, and the tables are dirty and full of crumbs.

Eiieueue. So part of my detachment is walking to this hole of a place and blogging for you all. I am smiling as I write this, as God uses every opportunity to teach me detachment.

OK, now to business.

Two people asked me questions about how to be detached regarding family, even one's spouse.

Yes, we are all called to detachment, not merely religious or priests. I shall try to explain better what it is as a necessary virtue for all of us.

First a prognosis...and some clarifications

Detachment does not mean that we do not love someone, of course, but it means that we love in Christ, for Christ and for the salvation of that person's soul. It means that we love without any expectations.

Love which is based on sentimentality, on the emotions, on manipulation, but on the will. If one is not willing to love through illness, poverty, even certain serious sins of the partner, one is not detached.

Detachment means that one is free to love.

Examples: I can live with the same peace in abject poverty as in luxury, as I am detached from things.
I am not attached sentimentally to anything, although it has been difficult to get to this point.

People who lost everything in Katrina understand this virtue. What is important are not things. Things are there to use, not covet. When one takes pride in things, one is not detached.

This is clear, but what about detachment in relationships?

Detachment brings about the highest form of love, love for the sake of the other person and not for one's own comfort or needs.

Most families have become idols for those in America, who put family above religion, above, even, the Ten Commandments.

I know a man who fell away from the Church because all the rest of his family met for breakfast every Sunday morning for the entire time Masses were offered. He refused to say no to their unrealistic desires. He would not, then, say no to other unrealistic demands and let himself be manipulated by his siblings. He has not gone back to Catholicism and is getting closer to death.

Another couple who were brought to my attention for prayer a while ago use contraceptives, no allowing God to bring life into their marriage. They are both Catholics, but have put their own comfort and supposed needs before the law of God.

These three people lack detachment, the ability to love family in Christ, putting Christ first, and not their own desires.

In marriage, one must move from romantic love to real sacrificial love. God gives most of us opportunities to do this. One must move to complete unselfishness, without any expectations of return. One must love in the will.

True love from God is in the will, not in feelings or attachments. Those of us who have experienced this true love know that it is possible with God's grace to love freely, peacefully, happily in holy indifference.

Indifference does not mean one does not care. Holy indifference means that one can let go of the past, and the future and live wholly in the present moment.

Is it hard to understand Christ's answer to Mary at the Wedding Feast of Cana? He called her Woman as she represented not merely His Mother, but the Woman who brought the Savior of mankind into the world. If Mary did not have holy detachment, she would not have been able to let Christ go into the world, not seeing Him, knowing that He would suffer. She started His three years of ministry. This event of the changing of the water into wine marked the sign of Mary's complete detachment from Her Son.

She loves Him, more than any human being can love Christ, but she is willing at this point in the Gospel to give Him to the world.

God called Joseph to die before Christ' public work began--and this was a necessity to protect both Mary and Christ from misunderstandings regarding His real Father, God. Joseph had to accept going to Hades and waiting for the Harrowing of Hell, which was accomplished after Christ's Death on the Cross.

Joseph had to be detached in his relationship with Mary, not having normal married relations, which God had called him to give up in choosing him to be Mary's protector. We call this a "Josephite Marriage" and one can read other posts on this.

If a married couple really has trouble understanding this, I suggest they go through the Thirty Day Spiritual Exercises from St. Ignatius. I did this a long time ago and this retreat helped me understand and then try to appropriate detachment.

As to our children. we must not see them ever as created in our own image and likeness, but in the image and likeness of God.

I believe totally that one reason for the lack of vocations is an over-possesiveness of parents who do not want to lose contact with their children. Selfish parents can stand in the way of a true vocation.

I know that giving one's son or daughter to God is a real sacrifice for some. Look at my own life. My son does not and never has belonged to me. I was loaned him for awhile to try and form his in God's image and likeness, not mine. At the right time, God called him from the house and I am fare ortunate if I see him once every sixteen months or more. Such is the sacrifice we must all make for our children.

Detachment is not just a call for nuns, sisters, priests, monks. It is a call for all of us. One cannot love in true charity, in true Christlike love without putting to death attachments to the physical as well as the spiritual life.

Here is St. Ignatius himself on detachment:

In everyday life, then, we must hold ourselves in balance before all created gifts insofar as we have a choice and are not bound by some responsibility. We should not fix our desires on health or sickness, wealth or poverty, success or failure, a long life or a short one. For everything has the potential of calling forth in us a more loving response to our life forever with God.

Our only desire and our one choice should be this: I want and I choose what better leads to God’s deepening life in me.

Basically, I have a rule about things, and then I shall comment more on a rule about relationships.

First of all, if a thing does not lead me directly to God, I do not want it or need it. I use what brings life, not death, to the soul.

My new little mobile chapel is not for me, but for the coming future, for those who will not have churches in their areas when the times come when priests become scarce. I do not need this chapel and am very detached from all the things. I can pray just as well in an empty room, but the chapel is not for me.

I have packed away most things given and have now a bare minimum in the room. Simplicity is best, and less is more.

If I have clothes which I have not used in one year, I give them away. I only have things in storage by an accident of history, as the person who was supposed to facilitate the sending of those things to Europe did not do so, after I was already there.

When I can find someone to help me go through the things, most, if not all, will be given away. I have not been able to get help. I have to even be detached from this fact.

Second point, one must be detached from one's own self. I am sharing something personal to underscore this point. Daily, I am in excruciating pain in my lower back, side and even upper back. Some days I cannot even hardly dress myself. I have problems picking these up off the floor and sometimes I cannot eat for the pain.

But, my body does not belong to me. It belongs to God. And, God has has allowed this pain. I accept this in complete detachment, not able to get the help I need for avoiding this. I accept this situation in complete detachment. When I was in Europe and able to walk daily for miles and lived in places without steps, I did not experience this. But, now, God is allowing this for His Glory, not mine. Detachment for wanting to do things, wanting to be strong and whole allows me to be peaceful.

Third, detachment from family members means this. That one love God first, with one's whole heart, whole soul, whole mind, whole will. One can decide to become detached, but one must also beg God for the grace.

Be prepared, for when one asks for the grace of detachment, God takes one seriously and begins to take away things, people, places.

People, including family members, are gifts in our lives, not possessions. The primary love a husband should have for his wife is that of a brother in Christ. He must ask himself the question, "Do my actions bring my wife and children closer to heaven or not? The same is true of the wife. She must order her day so that she is bringing her husband and children closer to God.

When I was raising my son, his salvation was daily in my mind. I did not want to be in the position of the woman who was severely corrected by St. Padre Pio. Remember, he refused to hear the confession of this woman who had not really repented of her sins in her heart. He said to her and I paraphrase, "I refuse to hear your confession. Your son is in hell because of you."

Detachment prevents this type of sin and selfishness.

Garrigou-Lagrange stresses that we are all called to this type of holiness. The religious life makes it easier in one sense, but not in others. Most lay people would not want the daily disciplined order which is demanded in the religious life.

Fourth point and last for today. Detachment is only possible when one loves God first. Once a person has made God the center of one's life can one experience true holy indifference. One of the holiest lay person I know is a man who is completely detachment from his own needs and concentrates on the real physical and spiritual needs of his wife and children. He has a servant heart. He inspires me.

Pray this prayer from St. Ignatius, and you will find detachment. Feel free to ask questions in the com-box.

Take Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will, all that I have and possess. Thou hast given all to me. To Thee, O lord, I return it. All is Thine, dispose of it wholly according to Thy will. Give me Thy love and thy grace, for this is sufficient for me.

God has asked me to give up family, friends, even my beloved country and continent of Europe. He has asked me to give up health, even the normal comforts most people have in life, such as their own room, their own bed, (I sleep on a floor), and other mod cons. At this point, I only ask for His love and His grace. All I have it God's, including STS. This does not mean that I do not love him, but that I love God and God's plan for him more. I love God and His plan for me more than my own life.

I suppose being in Illinois for the next three weeks is part of this. I was sharing yesterday with two people that I lived in England for a very long time, and the man said, "What punishment is this, what did you do to deserve being stuck here in Illinois?"

Punishment, indeed, but  I laughed. I am detached. Is there suffering with detachment? You betcha, but the more one practices this, the more joy comes to surround one. Do you not think that this virtue will be absolutely necessary in the tribulation to come?

In a direct answer to one person in the com-box, what happens when the other person in the marriage can no longer support you in any way? One still loves, in detachment.

A General Warning

Only parents should teach children sex education. Period.

Not even Catholic groups should do this. It is not the business of other people outside of the authority of the parent to teach children intimate things, even theology of the body groups.

In fact, I think strangers have no authority from God to teach sex education.

Only parents have been given this authority from God.

And, I again mention that Blessed Paul VI's and St. John Paul II's desires for the deaconate marriages were that they would accept Josephite marriages, and same with married priests. Sadly, this ancient rule has been bent by local bishops. Deacons should not be teaching sex education. Period.

Moving Beyond Affection Perfection Series VIII Part VIII

Raissa and Jacques had a Josephite marriage, made under spiritual direction. One can read about that here.

One of the sufferings God asked Raissa to endure was the setting aside of earthly, human affection. But, she explains that one must love God first, and then love people as God so desires them to be loved.

Loving another person in and through God takes great courage, as this state involves great suffering. From July 21st, 1918:

I have given to God, with the truly extraordinary help of his grace, things I loved more than myself (for my love was disordered). I must begin to give myself; this is indeed much easier.

I have learnt to love men more for God--and to esteem them much less in themselves. Their judgement matters little to me, at least fairly little. What matters to me from now on is to be with my God, and to learn to love him truly. To make his Love and his Mercy known, by becoming kind and merciful myself, by living only on his Love.

I understand this movement of the heart and mind totally. God has taken away all my closest and dearest family members, friends, and more-than-friends. This has been His Will for me, and it is painful to realize that one's love is disordered.

To come to the knowledge that all loves must start and end in God Alone may be easier for some than others. This journey of the heart and mind (as true love is in the will) has been painful for me. As St. Alphonsus wrote, his greatest fault was loving people too much.

To allow God to enter into those relationships and burn away all selfishness, desires, and even good intentions in order for Him to be loved first and totally has been for me a great trial.

I know many married women who have told me that they experienced this in their marriage. I did as well.

To love for the sake of God must be the priority of anyone who wants to be united to God. Raissa also admitted in another section, which I read years ago and remembered (1983 to be exact was the time this sunk in...) that it was harder for her to keep the oath of celibacy than for Jacques. That God gives different loves and graces to people may be one of the greatest mysteries of all.

But, to be a saint, to become objective lovers, we must move beyond affections which keep us from loving God first.

to be continued...

Without Contemplatives, There Can Be No Holy Action

Jacques Maritain was called to a world-wide mission of reconstructing Thomism in the modern world. His wife, Raissa, was called to pray for him while he did this, and to pray for priests in the renewal of the works of St. Thomas Aquinas.

They made a celibate commitment, which I have written about and will post again at the end of this posting.

What these two, husband and wife, came to understand was that without some people in the Catholic Church giving their lives to almost constant contemplative prayer, there can be no worthwhile activity in the Church.

One of the main reasons the Church is weak is that we simply do not have the backup of hours of prayer, contemplative prayer, which use to exist in the Church.

The demise of the great contemplative orders, either because of heresy, shrinkage, or disappearance entirely, and the lack of understanding among the laity that many lay persons are also called to contemplation, cause the lack of strength for the Church. The Maritains knew this and wrote about this. Action without contemplation almost always is based on egotism and pride, thus undermining the real ministries of the Church. 

Too many lay people blame the clergy for weaknesses without praying constantly for the priests, bishops, and cardinals.

But, intercessory prayer now and then is simply not good enough.

What the contemplative does is what Marines do before the Army hits the beach. The shock troops go in and clear the way for the others. The contemplatives in the Church are the special forces, fighting against the greatest enemies, the unseen demons which hate and plague the Church.

Those in the world do mop up or they take advantage of the territory cleared by the contemplatives.

This was taught to me in grade school, when the good nuns explained the difference between the contemplative orders and the active orders. Plainly, the active orders of teachers, nurses, and missionaries could do nothing without the Carmelites, Benedictines, Augustinians, Cistercians, Trappists, Carthusians and so on.

Without those warriors on the front lines, not much can get done.

We see the Church in one of the weakest states She has ever been. And, one of the main reasons for this decline is the decline of the contemplative orders. Recall the Vatican's eloquent work on this subject, found here and on this blog in various postings.

http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/ccscrlife/documents/rc_con_ccscrlife_doc_13051999_verbi-sponsa_en.html

Well, the laity, like Raissa Maritain, must pick up the dropped baton and carry on.

If men and women are not responding to the call of contemplation, which is prayer only realized after the levels of prayer and purification as taught by Garrigou-Lagrange and explained on this blog, the Church will remain weak and, in fact, grow weaker.

Twice I have tried to gather together lay women for a lay order of contemplation. Twice this has failed for lack of a benefactor to buy us a house.

A fixable obstacle, imo,  is to have a place to pray. How many people have multiple dwellings, two or three places to live. But, some contemplatives, who would find strength being together, rather than being separate, cannot do so.

So, those of us who do pray and are moving into more and more contemplation, do so on our own, which is extremely difficult. One does not make money praying. One cannot have stability without a place. And, not having the Eucharist in house creates logistical difficulties.

Raissa Maritain was blessed not only with a place but with the Eucharist in her home. This has been a dream of mine, to be able to adore Christ at any time in the day in a private chapel.

God has not yet answered this desire of my heart. So, I get on the bus and go miles to Adoration chapels. I am blessed by having these within bus distance in Malta. It was not possible for me to get to Adoration either in Iowa or in New York. The main reason I am here is to pray more and adore more.

Jacques became highly successful in his mission to re-introduce Aquinas to the world. Raissa was the power behind his activity, in her unceasing prayers for his work.

More than ever, the Church needs contemplatives. I am called to this life, and the blog is the result of prayer, study, reflection.

Pray that I can find that place. I am only here temporarily, as usual. I shall make the most of my time here to go before God for the needs of the Church, especially the clergy.

Even though there is a small renewal of new and old contemplative orders, these are a drop in the ocean, a drop of what is needed.

I pray the laity pick up the baton and run on in the contest, as called by Christ to do so.

Monday, 16 January 2012

An Unusual, Controversial Catholic Subject-Celibacy in Marriage

Posted by Supertradmum

Now, I am not married, but I live a celibate life-style. However, I have an increasing number of friends, traditional Catholics, who have opted for celibacy in their marriages. This is not a new ideal in the Church, and although Christ wants most married couples to be fruitful and multiply, that is, to have the wonderful children God desires them to have, there have been and are couples, who for the sake of the kingdom, have chosen a different way. Of course, the norm, having children as God gives, creates saints, such as Blessed Louis and  Blessed Zelie Martin, Blessed Karl and Empress Zita, SS. Joachim and Anna, SS. Isidore and Maria (who vowed abstinence later in their marriage), and so on. This is not an exhaustive list.

However, the emphasis on celibacy should be rare, but seen as a call within a call. I also think there has to be good reason for not having children. The grand example are two of my favorite Catholics, Jacques and Raissa Maritain, who on the Isle of Wight, as Benedictine Oblates, took a vow of celibacy "for the sake of the Kingdom". Raissa writes in her diary, which I practically have memorized, that it was difficult for her, but she could see that Jacques was called to be in the world and she was his prayer backup, companion in holiness, and confidant, as well as best-friend. They shared philosophy, theology, and the dedication to bringing the Gospel into the workplace in the extreme. God called them to this.

I first met celibate married couples about twenty-five years ago. The first couple I met were in their forties and had a close relationship with the Church and the priest who was the pastor. They were very active in the Church, but did not have normal marital relations. They had chosen that way and had married later in life. The man had been in the Jesuit seminary for years, but left, as he did not think he had a priestly vocation. He found a wife who would support him in his spiritual walk. The second couple I met were in their early sixties. They had decided that past child-bearing age, they would make a celibate commitment. Since then, I have met another couple who have decided the same thing. Their "extra" time is spent in good works, praying and fasting. Obviously, these couples have spiritual directors. This call within a call is, also, obviously, by mutual consent.

Those with a worldly mindset and even some good Catholics may find this call repelling or unnatural. I would say that this call is rare, but not unnatural. I think that those who decide to live in the world, or are called so by God to remain among the laity, can exhibit a variety of calls "for the sake of the Kingdom". And, to be in a relationship which is celibate may be a sign of contradiction to the world as well as giving two people the necessary, daily support a brother and sister in Christ may give to each other. Intimacy has many faces, and the physical side of intimacy is only one aspect of relationship. I have written this to support my friends who have chosen this way and to encourage those who feel the need for companionship without sex to be comforted in that they are not alone. We are all called to be saints, and there are many ways, in Christ, through Mary, to be saints.

In addition, God did not intend people to live all alone. The fact that there are so many single, lonely individuals needs to be addressed by the Church. Those who for whatever reason cannot be a priest or nun or sister, have some options, but loneliness should not be the norm. Church communities have failed, especially in America, to support their singles. Many Catholics are singles for many reasons. There exists a judgmental attitude, which excludes those singles from the larger interaction in the Church. And, for those who desire celibacy in the world, that is an option, but it does not have to equal loneliness. I am very fortunate, as I do not experience the gnawing type of loneliness some do. I may miss my dear friends when apart from them, but that is different than the vague experience of loneliness many feel. We all need to reach out to those who feel this need, pray for them, and include them in our busy lives. To do otherwise is not to be Christian.

STS Vocation Day Tomorrow, And Today's Preview

Tomorrow, again, I am highlighting possible vocations in our Church. I cannot re-post all the things I have written, but some will be on the blog again tomorrow.

Here are some links and there will be re-posts. This first link caused controversy, but I stand by this.

 http://supertradmum-etheldredasplace.blogspot.com/2012/07/i-do-not-believe-that-being-single-is.html

 and......

Sunday, 26 January 2014

The Vocation of The Priest's Wife and The Three Marys

Posted by Supertradmum

Because for many months, I was close to some Ordinariate priests and met and talked with some of the wives when I was in England, even briefly, I observed a key to the mystery of the married Ordinariate priest which I would like to share. I have also met other women in the role of  "priest wives".

The Catholic people on the whole are not accustomed to the vicar's wife. Indeed, when we lived in Petersfield years ago, it took the parish several months to accept a married ex-Anglican, now Catholic priest for a pastor. The objections were all based on ignorance and prejudice and in the end, the priest and his wife were not only happily accepted, but greatly loved.

The problem with the normal person in the pew is that these Catholics do not understand that if the husband, who is a Catholic priest has a vocation, his wife has a vocation as well. I understand this vocation of the priest's wife, which is more than being the wife of a man who happens to be a priest, and a mother to his children.

The vocation of the priest's wife consists of the greatest sacrifice a woman can give to the Church, her husband to take on another Bride, the Bride of Christ, which is the Church

The priest's wife is not the first woman in the priest's life She is the third woman in the priest's life, and yet, a great support to his ministry, a point to which I shall return.

The First Woman in the heart of the married priest is the Bride of Christ, the one, true, holy, Catholic and apostolic Church. He is her protector, her guide, her spouse as he is alter Christus.

The Second Woman in the heart of the married priest is the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Theotokos, the Mother of us all. The priest takes her guidance and love and honors her above all women.

The Third Woman is his wife. And, this wife is the servant of the servant. If she is a stay-at-home mom, she organizes the life of the priest so that he can maximize his day of service to the Church. She is not first, ever, and must be scheduled, and disciplined.

If the Third Woman has a job out of necessity, in order to help support the priest and family, as so many now must after losing their pensions, houses, and other goods by converting to the Catholic Church, even having to go back to work to make ends meet, this job is the gift she gives to not only the family, but to the Church, easing the financial burden of a diocese or the Ordinariate.

If the Third Woman is called to be active in the daily workings of the Church, especially if the children are grown and gone, her relationship with the parish will demand her time and gifts, and she will support the work of her husband as he sees fit. I know one priest's wife who does so many things that she is just as busy as he is.

A priest's wife has been called by God to give her husband to the Church, and to the world. She knows that she is called to serve, and to sacrifice the normal comforts of married life.

She will not be rich, or have the normal aspirations of a married woman in the world of the laity, because even though she is lay, she has a vocation to be in the world, and not of the world in a direct manner.

Her world is one like the women who served Christ and His apostles, so that they could live out the vocation of the apostolic call.

I greatly honor the wives of the priests of the Ordinariate and other priest's wives who have come in via different manners into the Catholic Church. May we honor them as we would honor those women at the foot of the Cross.

Like the married women, a mother of a priest sacrifices the time and attention of a son, grandchildren and all the protection and love a son would give to a mother is he were not married to the Bride of Christ. Mothers of priests should understand priest's wives from the perspective of giving up a natural relationship for a supernatural one, as these sons and these husbands do not belong to us, but to God.

 "Now there stood by the cross of Jesus His mother, and His mother’s sister, Mary [the wife] of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene." We call these women, Mary Salome, Mary wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene, the Three Marys, or the Three Maries. Mary Salome, wife of  Zebedee and mother of the "Sons of Thunder," James and John, aided Christ and His apostles and stood watching the horror of the Passion and Death of Our Lord. Like Mary the Mother of God, she is one of my models

These women ministered to Christ, set aside their own status, their own resources, their own lives for the sake of the Gospel.

So, too, do our sisters who are the wives of our Catholic priests.

Monday, 24 February 2014

On Josephite Marriages, Again

Posted by Supertradmum

I have written about this before and have recently re-posted my original article on Josephite Marriages. Almost monthly, I am meeting couples who have chosen this way of holiness, as I noted in the first article I wrote two years ago.

Some saintly couples already noted on this blog chose Josephite Marriages, and I mentioned a fictional couple in my novella, who chose such a lifestyle.

As times become more perilous, couples may consider this path of holiness. Most of the couples I know who have chosen this path are just beyond child-bearing age. In other words, they made the decision to be completely chaste. As they had given God children, as expected from good Catholics, and as one of the huge reasons for marital relations no longer was possible, these couples prayed and spoke with spiritual directors about their decision.

The couples prayed first, of course, and came to the decision together, first.

As is most obvious, a Josephite Marriage is named after St. Joseph, who did not have marital relations with the Blessed Virgin Mary. This marriage was completely celibate, and some Josephite marriages are so.

There is a confusion among some modern people on the validity of a Josephite, or non-consummated marriages, unlike the ones described above. If a couple is married in the Church and has been living together for a length of time, the marriage is assumed consummated. A Josephite Marriage is called ratum tantum in Canon Law. Note, that when a couple are married in the Nuptial Mass, or with the Nuptial Blessing, they are "married".  In the Church today, a non-consummated marriage must still be the subject of an annulment if a party decides to leave the marriage, divorce, and re-marry.

One may reference this post and others under the tag, "marriage" on this blog for more information.

http://supertradmum-etheldredasplace.blogspot.com/2012/01/unusual-controversial-catholic-subject.html

Monday, 16 January 2012

An Unusual, Controversial Catholic Subject-Celibacy in Marriage

Posted by Supertradmum

Now, I am not married, but I live a celibate life-style. However, I have an increasing number of friends, traditional Catholics, who have opted for celibacy in their marriages. This is not a new ideal in the Church, and although Christ wants most married couples to be fruitful and multiply, that is, to have the wonderful children God desires them to have, there have been and are couples, who for the sake of the kingdom, have chosen a different way. Of course, the norm, having children as God gives, creates saints, such as Blessed Louis and  Blessed Zelie Martin, Blessed Karl and Empress Zita, SS. Joachim and Anna, SS. Isidore and Maria (who vowed abstinence later in their marriage), and so on. This is not an exhaustive list.

However, the emphasis on celibacy should be rare, but seen as a call within a call. I also think there has to be good reason for not having children. The grand example are two of my favorite Catholics, Jacques and Raissa Maritain, who on the Isle of Wight, as Benedictine Oblates, took a vow of celibacy "for the sake of the Kingdom". Raissa writes in her diary, which I practically have memorized, that it was difficult for her, but she could see that Jacques was called to be in the world and she was his prayer backup, companion in holiness, and confidant, as well as best-friend. They shared philosophy, theology, and the dedication to bringing the Gospel into the workplace in the extreme. God called them to this.

I first met celibate married couples about twenty-five years ago. The first couple I met were in their forties and had a close relationship with the Church and the priest who was the pastor. They were very active in the Church, but did not have normal marital relations. They had chosen that way and had married later in life. The man had been in the Jesuit seminary for years, but left, as he did not think he had a priestly vocation. He found a wife who would support him in his spiritual walk. The second couple I met were in their early sixties. They had decided that past child-bearing age, they would make a celibate commitment. Since then, I have met another couple who have decided the same thing. Their "extra" time is spent in good works, praying and fasting. Obviously, these couples have spiritual directors. This call within a call is, also, obviously, by mutual consent.

Those with a worldly mindset and even some good Catholics may find this call repelling or unnatural. I would say that this call is rare, but not unnatural. I think that those who decide to live in the world, or are called so by God to remain among the laity, can exhibit a variety of calls "for the sake of the Kingdom". And, to be in a relationship which is celibate may be a sign of contradiction to the world as well as giving two people the necessary, daily support a brother and sister in Christ may give to each other. Intimacy has many faces, and the physical side of intimacy is only one aspect of relationship. I have written this to support my friends who have chosen this way and to encourage those who feel the need for companionship without sex to be comforted in that they are not alone. We are all called to be saints, and there are many ways, in Christ, through Mary, to be saints.

In addition, God did not intend people to live all alone. The fact that there are so many single, lonely individuals needs to be addressed by the Church. Those who for whatever reason cannot be a priest or nun or sister, have some options, but loneliness should not be the norm. Church communities have failed, especially in America, to support their singles. Many Catholics are singles for many reasons. There exists a judgmental attitude, which excludes those singles from the larger interaction in the Church. And, for those who desire celibacy in the world, that is an option, but it does not have to equal loneliness. I am very fortunate, as I do not experience the gnawing type of loneliness some do. I may miss my dear friends when apart from them, but that is different than the vague experience of loneliness many feel. We all need to reach out to those who feel this need, pray for them, and include them in our busy lives. To do otherwise is not to be Christian.