Mouse in The Darkness

It is 6:22 here and it is pitch black. No long, lingering twilight one gets in England occurs here in Malta.

I do not mind going out at night in Sliema, as the entire city is out and about at night. But, where I am renting an efficiency flat, there are stretches of scary places. I do not venture out after dark.

By the solstice, it will be dark at 5:00 p.m. Now, Sliema is just waking up at 5:00, but in Valletta and where I am, the darkness sneaks into the houses, shuts the doors, and all becomes quiet, except for the busy streets full of cars.

The roads in my neighborhood, after dusk, belong to the Cats of Malta. I have one at my backdoor now, as I fed it chicken last week and actually shared my McDonald's with it today. I am feeding slave to this cat.

Of course, now in the darkness, I miss Mouse, my little cat who adopted me in NC, and followed me around all the time I was outside, and waited by my cabin door for me to come out daily.

I miss Mouse, and would have it in a minute with me. Sigh. It is too expensive to ship a cat from SC to Malta, and the famous Cats of Malta may not accept an American cat.

Here is the latest photo of Mouse below. I do miss this intelligent and friendly cat. In the darkness of this evening, I am reminded of the darkness of the Dark Night, wherein God detaches me from all people, all places, all things, and, all pets.....

Raissa Maritain writes of detachment: "A process of detachment is taking place in my soul. It is becoming indifferent to the judgement of others. It jealously guards its own treasure. I think I ought to enter courageously on the way of solitude which is bitter to nature, but very salutary. To live with God alone To see only him in everything. To count for nothing what comes from men. For "every man is a liar" even when he is a very veracious person for he lies without meaning to when he disappoints someone who has placed some hope in him. He lies when he give purely human advice to someone who is asking for divine light. He lies when human prudence directs him in his counsels.

Only God does not lie. The soul, in the silence of prayer, conforms more and more to this divine veracity, to this integrity in which there is no guile. 

Before God, the soul is utterly confident. If it is in fault, it knows that He wants to correct it and forgive it. If it asks for divine grace, for charity, for humility, it knows its heavenly Father will not give it stones instead of bread. Oh, that is the one thing necessary! To live open before God, to implore Him unceasingly to purify our heart. To make every effort not to let ourselves pass over anything: to keep our eyes well open to our defects, to our sins, to make a very strict confession of them. 

How good it is to live in the sole desire to please God. As regards our neighbour, only one thing is good: the love which is charity."

Raissa speaks for me today as I sit in the dark and think of Mouse so far away.

"God, my God, have pity on me, allow me to live in your presence with an upright soul, wholly lifted towards You; a sincere soul, drinking in your sweet Veracity; a very humble soul, looking only to you for all its good. But a soul that also has great confidence in its Father's goodness, and receives the manifestations of Your Love as simple as a child."

I last read these words in 2004, ten years ago, and in 1984, before I got really busy with marriage and a child. In those early years, I aspired to be in this state of complete dependency on Divine Providence. God has brought me here and Bjorn has sent this book just at the right time to see how far I have come in these ten busy years. Malta is my place of detachment from all people and things I love the most.

Raissa has been my guide since 1979, when I first bought the book, her Journal. The discovery of this book and de Caussade's book on abandonment changed my life. But, as my son reminded me recently, I was busy about many things, working hard as a single mum, and maybe not as focused on pursuing perfection as I should have been.

God changed all that in 2002, when I had a death experience, and since then, the process has been slow, but steady. I learned to be open and generous with God. One needs a generous heart to follow God. When I got cancer in 2009, I had another chance to be generous with God. Again and again, He has called me to give up, give in, give all to Him.

Goodbye, Mouse. I miss you. Like all things, places, creatures, and people, I give you back to God.

To be continued....

Animals Sent by Angels

I do not heal well. My blood does not coagulate properly. Others get over paper cuts in two hours. I have one for three days, bleeding.

Also, I get infections easily. Do not ask me why, as I do not know. I cut my foot badly one summer on a large staple from an Amazon package. I did not see it on the floor. For days, it hurt and bled, then got infected, of course.  That summer, the air was so hot and still at night, one felt like one was in another plane of reality. As I lay in bed, having taken off the bandage to give the wound air, I feel a little scratching tongue on my ankle. My Russian Blue/Norwegian Tree Cat mix, Vladimir, was cleaning my wound. As it was so hot, I feel asleep. The next morning, my foot was completely healed. Son said it had to do with some sort of antiseptic in the cat's mouth. I thought, God sent Vlada to help me.

Several months later, I had cancer and was in bed at home for two weeks. The two male cats, Puddy and Vladimir slept at my feet, one on each side of me. But, Miho-chan, my wounded female, who we rescued and who had buckshot in her spine from someone in Missouri shooting her when she it was a kitty, came up to the side of my body where I had the wound. Miho-chan snuggled up to neck, and put it's paw on my shoulder the entire time I convalesced, as if reassuring me everything would be alright. And, it was. 

Then, Vladimir ran away, which he had never done, and as we were moving back up to Iowa for me to start teaching in three days, we had to move. We had to leave, heartbroken, worried,  and came back down to the town where we had lived, and looked for this cat for two days. Our neighbor, who has eight cats, made signs on her computer, and printed them out, peppering the town with notices and phone numbers. This all happened the last weekend of August.

Son and I were sick at the loss of Vladimir, as it was, as we thought, the least intelligent of the three. And, we had lived in coyote and eagle territory, both animals known for eating small cats. Tears, and giving the cat we loved so much to God gave us respite. Time went on. Then, in the first week of December, 2010, we got a phone call from our cat-lady friend. 

Vladimir had been found, or, rather it had found a house. Francis and Larry, a retired couple, were sitting near the patio door of their lovely house, watching the first snowflakes of the year. Up onto the patio came a bedraggled grey and white cat. It stood up it hind legs and scratched at the door. Vladimir wanted in.

He had been, apparently spotted a month before going in and out of a dog door, eating dog food in a nearby basement. But, Vladimir knew he wanted the good life. Frances and Larry adopted him as they had just lost their cat to death.

Yesterday, I spoke with Larry. Frances died last year of cancer. Larry told me that Vladimir has been a great comfort to him in his sorrow over losing his wife. He told me he would not know what to do without Vladimir. I knew, even though I still miss Vlada, that this cat is, indeed, where God wants this creature to be.

Angels send animals to people. Like us, God used His creatures for comfort. Thank you, God, for our pets.

I wish I knew where Miho-chan was, but that cat was living with a friend whose marriage broke up after we had to pass it on. I have no idea of Miho's whereabouts, but I trust God is using that black beauty for His purposes. Still, I have an ache in my heart, as this cat had suffered so much, and I wanted it to have some peace.

Nothing is too small in the Eyes of God to be a servant. Neither are we too small to be used, in small ways. 

Even in large ways, God may use us. 

Is not life both mysterious and wonderful? Let God send you where He wants you to go. Let God open the doors He wants to open.

We are only dust, but the Spirit moves where He will. And our souls need to be purified to follow His lead. I have learned from my pets that nature and the Spirit of God conspire to make us whole, but not without suffering. Angels surround us, and, sometimes, they use cats.

I wonder how Puddy is doing in St. Louis with Grace? I am sure Puddyman brings joy.

For my cat lover friends-

Sunday, 10 March 2013  Repeat Post....just because....

OK--repeat of two out three of the most adorable cats in the world...

Posted by Supertradmum

Ah, those unknown, unreal insects

Two weeks ago, I finally found out what was biting my legs. I have taken walks on the Sliema Promenade and stopped to say the rosary there in front of a beautiful, small statue of Mary, Our Mother.

The cats of Malta, many of which live in the park below the Promenade, occupy the same place as me and my rosary.

Cat fleas. I found a dead one which fell off of me. The fact that I had welts indicates an allergic reaction.

Well, I can avoid that area, or at least not sit there and pray.

I do love cats and it is too bad some have fleas.

I have not had bites now for two weeks. One must be careful. Poor cats. There are cat charities in Malta for the strays.

Here is one link .http://streetcatrescue.webs.com/howtohelp.htm

OK--repeat of two out three of the most adorable cats in the world...

Happy Mother's Day, Two

My Favourite Pope Benedict XVI Photo

Pope Benedict and the Birmingham Oratory Cat