Still begging for this book...please

The Practice of Christian and Religious Perfection I, II, and III, by Father Alphonsus Rodriquez, S.J.

Please consider finding these for me.

Repeat....from another Lent...although Lent is over.

Encouraging those during Lent who are trying to endure either the Dark Night of the Soul, or the beginnings of aridity, here is a section from Uniformity With God's Will, by St. Alphonsus Liguori. One can find the entire book online here.

As my readers know, I especially like Rodriguez, and if anyone feels they can find his books for me, let me know. I read some of these in the convent two years ago. (Now three years!) There are three volumes. I have tried several times to download the PDF and cannot do it.

 

From St. Alphonsus: 

Lastly, we should unite ourselves to the will of God as regards our
degree of grace and glory.  True, we should esteem the things that
make for the glory of God, but we should show the greatest esteem for
those that concern the will of God. We should desire to love God more
than the seraphs, but not to a degree higher than God has destined
for us. St. John of Avila says: "I believe every saint has had the
desire to be higher in grace than he actually was. However, despite
this, their serenity of soul always remained unruffled. Their desire
for a greater degree of grace sprang not from a consideration of
their own good, but of God's. They were content with the degree of
grace God had meted out for them, though actually God had given them
less. They considered it a greater sign of true love of God to be
content with what God had given them, than to desire to have received
more."
      

....
This means, as Rodriguez explains it, we should be diligent in
striving to become perfect, so that tepidity and laziness may not
serve as excuses for some to say: "God must help me; I can do only so
much for myself." Nevertheless, when we do fall into some fault, we
should not lose our peace of soul and union with the will of God,
which permits our fall; nor should we lose our courage. 

Update: a reader said she is sending me two vols in softcover...thanks!

The Same Moon

Thursday Night, attempting to spend one hour with Jesus in my little chapel, just being there after Compline, I felt so far away from Him and all I love.

This isolation seems to be a purgatorial experience for all the time I wasted talking nonsense, wasting time, and not being focused on God in years gone by.

I felt so far away from my dearest both in Europe, in America, and in Japan, wishing to share the High Holy Days with someone I love.

But, no...these are desert days. I am resigned and now have peace in this place.

But, I also felt so far away from Christ's own experience in Gethsemane, my little chapel being thousands of miles away from the Mediterranean and also "modern", the house having been built in the 1980s.

I complained to Christ that although mentally I was in Gethsemane with Him, but with many distractions, I could not share His place. I would have loved to be in Jerusalem.

Then, I thought of the Passover Moon outside, to the southeast, so large and bright. I got up and looked out the small chapel window. The clouds passed over the white orb, playing hide and seek with its brilliance.

Suddenly, looking at the full moon, I realized that Christ had seen this same moon, this same full Passover Moon. Like a lover desperate to find a tie to one's Beloved, I was consoled realizing we shared the same moon, despite the distance and years.

1,982 years ago, my Dear Lord, the Beloved One, looked at this same moon I saw outside my chapel window in the dark night of Holy Thursday.

Perhaps He thought of me, perhaps, in that Garden, as Christ, the God-Man, could see all the sins I have committed and all of us have, down through the ages as part of His Passion. How sad that I caused Him pain that night.

Today, as I rise for Good Friday Tenebrae, I shall think of Christ in a small prison cell, maybe smaller than this small chapel. No moon, no birds, no sunlight, only the horrible stench and cramped quarters of a dirty cell.

But, for one hour, we shared the moon of the great feast, sharing even in suffering, loss, yet, peace in the nothingness, in the darkness of isolation.

Matthew 26

40 And he cometh to his disciples, and findeth them asleep, and he saith to Peter: What? Could you not watch one hour with me?

Note from The Bell-Wether-The Green Wood

For only the second time in my adult life, I missed Holy Thursday Mass. However, I am going into a silent retreat tonight which will end Easter morning. Not the same as being with my people, but....

When I ponder on the reasons why I could not get to church today, one thing stuck in my mind.

As usual, I experience something harsh before my fellow brothers and sisters in order to warn them.

In the not too distant future, many of us, perhaps the majority, may not have access to the Triduum. If you do now, take advantage of this great grace.

Many enemies both outside and inside the Church bear upon our daily lives, but this situation will come to a crisis soon.

No priests, or only disobedient ones, no bishops, or only disobedient ones, no sacraments...and so on, will be the norm in many dioceses.

So, tonight, as I begin a time of solitary prayer, I am reminded of the recusants in my beloved England, who did not have the Mass or sacraments except on rare occasions.

Pray for yourselves...Christ's warning to the Women of Jerusalem echo tonight. The Jews and Romans used the green wood to fashion Jesus' Cross...when things are going well, this is how some people act. What will happen in times of great tribulation?

Luke 23

26 As they led him away, they seized a man, Simon of Cyrene, who was coming from the country, and they laid the cross on him, and made him carry it behind Jesus. 27 A great number of the people followed him, and among them were women who were beating their breasts and wailing for him. 28 But Jesus turned to them and said, “Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me, but weep for yourselves and for your children. 29 For the days are surely coming when they will say, ‘Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bore, and the breasts that never nursed.’ 30 Then they will begin to say to the mountains, ‘Fall on us’; and to the hills, ‘Cover us.’ 31 For if they do this when the wood is green, what will happen when it is dry?”

Mistaken Identity

Pondering on my own sins and the lack of holiness in my mind, heart, imagination, soul, body, I was reminded that Christ's Identity was mistaken by those who thought they were holier than most. Too often, if we are not in "serious sin", we can forget who the really holy men and women are.

The members of the Sanhedrin, as we read this week, condemned a Man Whom they thought was a threat to their religion. Now, some Protestants and some rebellious Catholics who do not believe in the institutionalized Church see Christ as the Great Rebel against organized religion.

This is a case of mistaken identity. Christ established His religion, continuing the Revelation of the Old Covenant by making a New Covenant based on Himself., the Messiah, the Saviour, the King of Kings, and Lord of Lords.

But, we too misread people's identities. I would like to mention a few of these faux pas which I have made myself in my life, learning the hard way, that holiness is not always obvious, and that those who seem holy may very well not be. It is not actions which reveal holiness, but the love for God, the love of the Truth.

Years ago, I met a woman who was not educated beyond high school. She has proved to be one of the holiest and most humble persons I know, full of grace and truth. She never reads blogs, or never goes on line. She has never taken a theology course in her life. She is on her way to being a great saint and few know this. She is a barber.

Another person I met a long time ago is also uneducated, a man who taught me to have a devotion to the Divine Mercy, which I did not at the time, and renewed my saying the daily rosary. This person does not have a college degree, and has had a sad and unfulfilled life. Yet, he is on his way to being a saint as well. He is poor, and on state-aid. He prays the Divine Office daily. His children ignore him.

Two other ladies looked like ordinary working women, one single, another still young and busy, but they had powerful experiences of conversion and freedom from horrible past sins, plus being raised in the era of either no catechesis, or very poor teaching of the Faith. Both of these ladies have been brought to a great maturity of Faith by God in an extremely short period of time. In other words, what I had to learn over a lifetime, God taught them in months, yes, months because they are humble and ask Him for grace. They are on their way to becoming great saints.

My last example may be the strongest. Many people I know mistake this person for a public sinner, and yet, she is the most holy and pious person I have ever met. living in penance for early sins, sins which people in her community seem to know. No one knows her personal struggles to stay holy, and yet, she is, imho, the holiest person I know on this earth She is a veritable Mary Magdalen, and God gives her infused knowledge born out of pain and suffering. She is brilliant, loving, and one of the most humble persons I have ever met, not content to look at her many talents, but only on her inadequacies. She is on her way to becoming a great saint. I feel honored to just listen to her speak of holy things, of the knowledge of divine things.

Mistaken identities....the saints are most likely not those prancing about the altar as Eucharistic Ministers, or the teachers of RCIA, or the leaders of charismatic prayer groups. The saints are not those necessarily who have retreat centers and charge for spiritual direction.

The saints are not obvious....neither was Christ to those who did not want to see with the Eyes of God.

Mysterious Words of Christ

Today, we hear Christ telling the apostles at the Last Supper that He will be glorified. This is stated clearly after Christ shows that Judas will betray Him.

Two mysterious things happen almost simultaneously. Satan enters Judas because Judas has given himself over to Satan in order to betray Christ. He is now possessed, by willingly giving over his free will, his decision of treachery to the dark side of evil. Those of us who have been betrayed by loved ones or trusted friends join with Christ in His suffering.

It is as if Satan and Judas have made a pact--Christ's death for Judas' soul. Judas cooperates with Evil to bring down Christ, the Son of God. But, Satan does not see the end of the story.

The second mysterious occurrence is announced by Christ in these words said after Judas leaves:

 When he therefore was gone out, Jesus said: Now is the Son of man glorified, and God is glorified in him.

32 If God be glorified in him, God also will glorify him in himself; and immediately will he glorify him.

Christ speaks of His glory, and that the Father is glorified because of Him, Christ. God gives the glory back to Christ in line 32, as the Father and the Son are One.

What is this glory? I think the glory is threefold. 

First of all, the sacrifice of Christ on the Cross, the Passion, begins in this Upper Room with the Institution of the Eucharist and the priesthood.

Christ and the Father are glorified both in the Mass and in the priesthood. The apostles become each an alter Christus, the other Christs, bringing the Body and Blood of Christ to all Catholics down to this present day through the apostolic succession. Indeed, these two new rites, new sacraments, Holy Eucharist and Holy Orders, bring glory to God, to Christ, to the Church. 

Second, Christ is glorified, and therefore, glorifies the Father through His perfect obedient Passion and Death on the Cross, which is the New Passover, the freeing of all mankind from the bondage of eternal death and sin. Christ is the Second Adam, undoing the sin of Adam through suffering as the Lamb of God Who takes away the sins of the world. God is glorified in His Son's redemption of all people. Freedom to be saints, to regain the lost innocence of Adam and Eve is given to all. The New Passover Lamb leads the New People of God through the new Red Sea of baptism, earned on the Cross by Christ. Christ is the New Adam, the New Moses, the New King David.

Third, Christ is glorified in His love for both the Father and all mankind, and this Love is the Third Person of the Blessed Trinity, the Holy Ghost. The Trinity is glorified at this Last Supper, in Gethsemane, on Calvary, and finally, as shown to all the world, at the Resurrection.

So, now is the Son glorified...

John 13:

18 I speak not of you all: I know whom I have chosen. But that the scripture may be fulfilled: He that eateth bread with me, shall lift up his heel against me.

19 At present I tell you, before it come to pass: that when it shall come to pass, you may believe that I am he.

20 Amen, amen I say to you, he that receiveth whomsoever I send, receiveth me; and he that receiveth me, receiveth him that sent me.

21 When Jesus had said these things, he was troubled in spirit; and he testified, and said: Amen, amen I say to you, one of you shall betray me.

22 The disciples therefore looked one upon another, doubting of whom he spoke.

23 Now there was leaning on Jesus' bosom one of his disciples, whom Jesus loved.

24 Simon Peter therefore beckoned to him, and said to him: Who is it of whom he speaketh?

25 He therefore, leaning on the breast of Jesus, saith to him: Lord, who is it?

26 Jesus answered: He it is to whom I shall reach bread dipped. And when he had dipped the bread, he gave it to Judas Iscariot, the son of Simon.

27 And after the morsel, Satan entered into him. And Jesus said to him: That which thou dost, do quickly.

28 Now no man at the table knew to what purpose he said this unto him.

29 For some thought, because Judas had the purse, that Jesus had said to him: Buy those things which we have need of for the festival day: or that he should give something to the poor.

30 He therefore having received the morsel, went out immediately. And it was night.

31 When he therefore was gone out, Jesus said: Now is the Son of man glorified, and God is glorified in him.

32 If God be glorified in him, God also will glorify him in himself; and immediately will he glorify him.

Dark Night Again....

Matthew 27:46 Douay-Rheims 

46 And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying: Eli, Eli, lamma sabacthani? that is, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?

One of the few "lights"of Holy Week for the person in the Dark Night. is that Christ joins us in His Own darkness. Christ allowed Himself to take our sins upon Himself and experience the type of suffering we suffer daily because of our sins and the sins of others.

Joining us in humanity, the Second Person of the Blessed Trinity became Incarnate specifically to free us from Original, mortal and venial sins.

Christ enters liturgically into His Dark Night of the Spirit, not because of His sin, as He is Perfect, Innocence, Good, but because of our sins. We join His sacrifice in the Masses we attend, but especially this week in the climax of Lent,  in this Passion Week and in the Triduum.

As I enter this week, I am grateful to God for His Sacrifice, when He chose suffering, both spiritual and bodily, so that I do not have to go to hell. Grace upon grace is given to us through His Passion and Death on the Cross, and through His Resurrection. Christ overcame death and sin, conquering Satan, undoing the damage done by our First Parents.

This is the week of Christ's joining with us as we see on Good Friday in the terrible words of pain and faith as noted above.

We neither despair, nor do we pretend to be something other than we are--sinners standing at the foot of the Cross. And, if we love Christ, we are on Calvary not merely for ourselves, but for Him. But, there is no consolation on this Place of the Skull, only the agony which brings victory over sin and death.

The Mass is the real, not symbolic, recreation of Calvary in an unbloody manner. Everytime we go to Mass, we are standing, again, at the foot of the Cross.

Let us all pause and thank God for His Goodness shown to us most clearly in Holy Week.