Would love to be a church mouse here

A Tale of Everildis

Emily groaned. This was the sixth time her managing editor had thrown an article back on her desk dripping with red pencil and the word “deleted” sprinkled throughout the text..

Jack still wanted “hard copies” of the articles everyone wrote for the Everingham Gazette, one the oldest and highly regarded newspapers in northern England. Jack had been brought kicking and screaming into the 21^st century but changing to the computerized version of the paper, added by the publishers in 2008, to the weekly paper edition. But, his compromise involved all his staff having to print out all articles for his perusal, above their elaborate e-mail system, so that he could do what he always had done for 28 years; edited with a red pencil.

Emily, who got her job out of college, two years ago, loved journalism. However, she slowly came to the realization that her ideas and talent did not matter. The only thing that mattered was Everingham Gazette, Ltd.  If one was a company player and fell under the spell of loyalty to the company, fine. If one was at all a bit quirky, or “different”, if one wanted to be created and push the envelope just a little bit, Jack would pounce on the budding journalists like a cat on the proverbial mouse.

Now, Emily could see her days at the paper were, most likely, numbered. This sixth refusal was almost the maximum the others who had been fired told her made up the magic number of re-writes, and that was seven.

Molly had left on her own accord last year, and Emily lost her ally in distress. Molly had tried to be a creative, even daring, feature editor for five years, emphasizing interviews with the locals, old families, and doing great historical pieces, which earned her a commendation from the main office in London, but which irritated Jack. Jack was not a local, like Molly or Emily. In fact, the majority of the writing staff were from all over Great Britain. Mike was from Edinburgh, Chris grew up in Birminham,  Stacey was from Winchester, Ted was from York, Dean from London, and Colum from Dublin. Jack, a man who really no one knew about personally, was from Manchester, a fact he could not hide with his strong  Bolton accent.

Molly and Emily made up the local contingent, hired when two other women quit suddenly two years ago, for mysterious reasons, none of the other staff understood. Of course, rumors circled the office, like low fog off the sea, but rumors were just, well, rumors.

That Meredith and Cassie had just “got up and left” one Monday morning two years to this date, when Emily was staring at her rejected copy, July 5^th, gave Emily goose pimples.

Her cell twittered like a bird. “Emily here, ah Molly, yes, I think I need to meet you for lunch, sure.”

Emily looked at her cell, It was ten past one. She was late leaving for lunch and because of the tight scheduling of the office, she had to be back by two. But, Molly was meeting her at La Piazza, as that was close to the newspaper office.

Emily gathered her things and rushed out. Molly was already at the restaurant. Emily and Molly kept up their friendship even though Molly was now married, pregnant and planning on being a stay-at-home mum.

Molly looked great, better than ever. “Molly, thanks so much for phoning. I really needed to talk with you today.”

Emily sat down and ordered the same thing she always ordered-the veggie wrap with a black coffee.

“Emily, I am glad to see you.” Molly could see her friend was flustered. She would wait and listen to Emily vent.

“I got number six today. Doesn’t look good for me, Molly. Jack just hates my work and more and more picks away at all my sentences. Look at this copy!”

Emily pushed an envelope towards Molly over the black faux marble table.

Molly read the text.  “This is so unfair. Your writing is brilliant, much better than mine ever was, and I only had four articles refused before I quit. Jack is being so picky.”

“I really can’t take this much longer, Molly. Not only is Jack rude as well as being stupid about my work, but the ambience in the office has become horrible. No one talks to me because I am seen now as a pariah. No one wants to go down in my sinking ship. Not even Chris talks with me now. I have been marginalized.”

“Jack does that. He creates this ethos of coldness, which others pick up and then sits back and waits until the person he is shutting out by his manipulations quits. He never fires anyone. He just isolates them until they walk.”

Molly drank her tea. Emily noticed how well she looked, but she also seemed burdened.

“Molly, I am sorry about rabbiting on. What is bothering you? Do you feel well? Is the baby fine?”

Molly smiled. She could never hide her feelings. “Emily, I have news which is good and bad. Good for Dave and me and bad for you. He is being transferred to Cambridge. His unit is moving out of this area and the army is going to close the entire base here at Everiingham. I can give you a scoop on this as it will be public knowledge in two days."

"It is not classified info. Here, I wrote a little story on it. You can use it. But, I won’t be here for you anymore. We leave in two weeks.”

Emily tried not to look disappointed. That her only and best friend was moving far away did crush her even more than the problems at work. “Molly, I understand. You know how much I shall miss you, but maybe I need to move on somewhere else as well. This job is  a dead-end.”

Molly picked at her salad. “I am so sorry, Emily. You can come stay with us, while you look for work, if you want to move near us. Dave and I talked about it. I shall need help when the baby comes.”

Emily tried not to cry. “Oh, Molly. You two are wonderful. I shall think about it. Hey, I need to get back. Thanks for the story. Maybe this news will get me out of hot water, but I doubt it. I shall phone you tonight.”

Emily got up to leave. She put her hand on Molly’s shoulder. “I need to think about all these things. I phone you about eight.”

Molly nodded. “I need to leave now, anyway. Can you believe it, three weeks from my baby’s due date and I have to pack.”

Emily blurted out. “Oh, I am so selfish. Hey, can I come over tomorrow, on my day off, and help you?”

Molly and Emily stood outside the door, They hurriedly put up their umbrellas, as rain began to fall softly over the town. “Would you? You have no idea how I dread packing.”

“I’ll phone, but I shall see you tomorrow for sure. Bye, I need to run.”

Molly waved and walked back to the short distance to the bus which would take her to the base. Emily raced across the street and down the road to the office, She was not looking, and a small, electric car came up behind her, knocking her onto the pavement. She fell and blacked out. When she came to, she could here voices, people talking, but she could not make out what they were saying,  She felt sick to her stomach. She sat up. She was groping for her handbag, cell phone and the envelope from Molly. But, when she put her hands down around her to push herself up, she realized she was feeling grass and dirt and not cement. Emily felt sick from the accident, but now, she panicked. She looked around her at the people. Who were these odd people? They were all dressed as if they were either going to a masquerade or were in a play. Four women stood around her in long gowns, two were nuns in black habits, old and strange habits. Two men bent over her, one a priest, in a strange cassock, like an old Benedictine habit. Emily looked around her, and saw that Everingham had literally vanished. She was sitting on the grassy edge of a small road, a dirt road. She felt terrified. Then, she realized the two men were speaking a dialect of old English from this area of England. Emily’s two degrees were in linguistics and journalism. She recognized a strange combination of  Anglo-Saxon, and Latin, Then, she saw blood on her skirt and felt her head. Immediately, Emily fainted.

Emily woke up in a warm room with a large fireplace and dark walls covered with heavy woolen blanket-type hangings. Two nuns fussed about the room carrying large pewter bowels of water. Emily felt sick. She thought she was hallucinating. But, when the nun came and put a cold cloth on her head, Emily knew this entire scene was not a dream. How could she be in such a strange place? Was this Everingham?”

Emily decided to speak in Latin, not the odd dialect of English she was hearing.

“Where am I? Who are you?”

A beautiful young nun with the face of an angel came and laid her hands on Emily’s shoulders. “Ah, you speak Latin? You were speaking odd words earlier. We were concerned. And your dress, so odd. But do not worrying, the abbess said we could care for you until we find out where your people are and until you are well.”

Emily looked around the strange scene. The room was large, but cozy. Everything was made out of oak or beech, she could see that. The bed she was in felt strange, and she realized it was made out of rope and a feather-bed.

The fire in the fireplace crackled in a homey way, and in one corner was a large shrine with a statue of Our Lady, a strange statue, more ancient and modest than Emily had ever seen. The statue made Emily think of the Lady of the Taper, in Wales. But, not quite.

“Dear Sister, where am I?” 

“Do not be concerned. You are in the monastery of Bishop’s Farm, and the abbess is the holy Everildis, whom you will meet later. Here, drink this, please.” The nun gave Emily a large goblet of some type of hot drink. Emily tasted it. It was an odd combination of mint, lavender and something else she could not place, plus hot wine of some sort, or a heavy alcoholic drink, almost like purple mead.

Emily drank and laid back on the feather bed. She was strangely calm. Even though she could not understand how she got to this odd place, Emily felt safe. “Bishop’s Farm, Everildis…I have gone back in time, from a car accident, not a tardis.”

Emily knew local history extremely well. Bishop’s Farm was the land given to St. Everildis by the great St. Wilfird or a Benedictine monk. Was this 680? How could a bump on the head, or a concussion cause this odd travel time warp? Emily looked at her clothes. The nuns had changed her into a soft woolen garment, like a very heavy nightgown. It was grey with white flecks. On her head was a large bandage, and on her feet, heavy stockings, again wool.

When she fell, which now seemed like an eternity, it was a rainy but warm day in Everingham. Now, it seemed cold and dry, not damp. Perhaps the fire helped.

“I know a little Latin,” offered Emily, feeling much stronger from the drink. “But, not much.”

The young nun smiled. Her blue eyes looked like stars. “I am here by your side because I know a little Latin as well. My uncle is a priest and he taught me. Few of the nuns know Latin, but my ancestors were Romans and we kept up the language in our houses.”

The little nuns turned away and went over to a large kettle over the fire in the fireplace. She then bought Emily a plate, with strange hot fried bread and some cheese. “Can you try and eat this?”

Emily said thank you and took the plate, which was on a small cloth. The plate was warm to the touch. “How long was I unconscious?” Emily had to stretch for that word in Latin.

….inscius

“You were only not with us for a few minutes, but then you fell into a fever, which has lasted five days. The abbess asked us all to pray, as we thought you may die. But, here you are, still here, among the living.” The young nun smiled and her face was like the sun.

Emily slowly ate and wondered at her predicament. She realized now that by some strange will of God she had been taken from the Everingham of 2014 to the Bishop’s Hill of 670 or so. How weird, how mysterious. Emily could not even think of the word, “why” as the why word seemed lame and out of place in this setting.

Just then, a tall, noble woman of about 45 came into the room. The young nun, and the elderly one who was cooking and fussing about the room, stepped to the side and bowed.

This new lady was obviously the abbess. Around her neck was one of the most beautiful crosses Emily had ever seen. It was gold with a huge emerald in the middle and small purple mosaics on the transepts.

Emily tried to get up to bow. “No, child, you rest. You do not need to bow to me. I am Abbess Everildis, and when you are better, we shall have a long talk. I want to ask you many questions.” Everild was one of the most beautiful women Emily had ever seen. She had a long face, with dainty features, but her eyes were large and the deepest blue Emily had ever seen.

“Lady Abbess, you know I am not from this world.”

Everild smiled. “None of us are from this world. We are all from God. Now, rest. We shall have time to talk in a few days. These two sisters, Mary Bega and Mary Wuldreda, will stay with you constantly until you are well. They will say their hours here, in this room. Do you pray? I see that you are wearing two strange emblems of our faith.”

Emily felt and under the heavy gown, she could feel her Benedictine medal and her silver scapular medal. She sighed. “Yes, and I could follow some of the Latin in the Book of the Hours.” 

The Abbess turned to the two nuns. “You will let this woman pray with you, but you must make sure she rests. I would say, Morning Praise and Evening Prayer only for now. Goodbye, strange girl from the future, as I know you are. I shall visit you tomorrow.”

Abbess Everildis held out her hand and Emily kissed her huge sapphire ring, the ring of a princess abbess. How amazing that Everildis, who Emily knew to be a saint, understood that Emily was not of this time. They had her clothes, and maybe her cell phone, and her handbag with all the normal things a woman of 25 would carry in her bag.  As the Abbess left, Emily wondered also at the nuns saying some sort of the Divine Office. She has learned that this rule had only come in after Benedictines had come to England, but the Celtic monks and nuns had prayers as well, but not in Latin, of course. Emily, despite her weakness and sore head was intrigued. Of course, Everildis could have met Benedictines. This was not an impossible scenario.

She lay back on the feather bed and a strange thought came to her. “I am glad my parents are dead. They would be so worried about my disappearance. But, have I disappeared form 2014, or am I in two places at once. And, poor Molly, I missed my promised to help her. What must she think?” Then, the sleepy woman thought of something odd-"My baptismal name is Averil, Averil Emily Grant."

Then, Emily became sleepy, but before she did sleep, she could see the young nun bring a small bench over to her bedside and sit down next to her. Emily again thought a fleeting thought as she fell asleep. “Maybe, I am not out of danger. They would not stay and watch.” As she felt asleep and woke again, Emily could hear part of the prayer. 

"Fæder ure,

ðu ðe eart on heofenum,
si ðin nama gehalgod;
to-becume ðin rice;
geweorþe ðin willa on eorðan swa swa on heofenum.
Urne ge dæghwamlican hlaf syle us to-deag,
and forgyf us ure gyltas
swa swa we forgifaþ urum gyltendum,
ane ne gelæde ðu us on costnunge, ac alys us of yfle.
Amen."

To be continued…

In Whom Do We Trust?

I shocked someone today by stating that I would not trust .......because she is not a practicing Catholic. Now, she is  fallen away Catholic, not a born Protestant or any other non-Catholic belief system. She went to Catholic schools all the way through college and married a Catholic in the Catholic Church.

Then, she and her husband decided not to have any children. They decided not to go to Mass anymore. They decided that their careers were all important and that making and keeping lots of money were the most worthy uses of their time and attention. They have built two enormous houses, they collect antiques, and they live the lives of so many others who are godless.

What my companion could not understand was my comment in context of me entrusting this fallen-away Catholic with personal information.

Trust must be based on the fact that someone has integrity. Integrity is the "quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness."

Have we lost all objectivity? Have we lost the sense of character?

Humans must earn trust by being consistent in the life of grace. Even Christ did not entrust Himself to all people.²⁴ But Jesus did not trust himself unto them, for that he knew all men. John 2:24

Someone said to me, "But she is a good person?" What does it mean to be good?

Too many Catholics trust atheists, agnostics, adulterers, embezzlers, fornicators, pedophiles, teachers of heresies and corrupt government officials.

Who do you trust?

Go to Mary

Reading St. John Vianney’s sermons makes one realize that one is either a Servant of God or a Servant of Satan.

There is no middle ground. Either one thinks like God or one will think like the devils.

Why is it that we all kid ourselves into thinking there is a middle course, the course of just getting by, or tolerating evil and not doing enough for God?

Why is it that we excuse ourselves by saying that Catholicism is just “too hard’ and that people just are not good enough to be Catholics?

The problem is simply a lack of faith in the sufficient grace from God. So many Catholics never think about grace, or God’s Presence in this very moment, as you read these words.

In the last several months, I have written how I have found so many Americans are asleep, not facing the real world of decay and imminent tyranny. So many Catholics are worse than asleep. They are spiritually dead.

The wealth and ease of American life are two causes for this death-the stronger belief in the American utopia, rather than the Kingdom of God is endemic here.

St. John Vianney reminds us that those who are steeped in sin no longer love the Blessed Mother. He reminds us that those who have recourse to Mary will not be damned.

Several saints write that the love of the rosary is a sign of predilection.

If one has strayed from being a Servant of God and finds themselves a Servant of Satan, go to Mary. She will lead you to God.

St. John Vianney writes, “Now then, my dear brethren, why should not we imitate thes great Saints who obtained so many graced from Mary to preserve them from sin? Have we not the same enemies to fight, the same Heaven to hope for? Yes, Mary always has her eyes upon us. Do we suffer temptations? Let us turn our hearts towards Mary and we shall be delivered.”

If it is too hard to be a Catholic, turn to Mary.

Fear of The Lord Is A Good

Substitute computer games for his call to break away from dancing; substitute television watching, or eating to much, or wasting money shopping all the time.

From St. John Vianney:

“Oh my friends, unless you want to stop up your ears, you will hear the voice of God, which follows you unceasingly. Tell me, my friends, then, what is this remorse of conscience which overwhelms you in the midst of sin? Why do these anxieties and storms agitate you?  Why this fear, this dread  that you are in , when you seem to be forever expecting to be crushed by the thunders of Heaven? How many times, even when you  were sinning, have you not experienced the touch of an invisible hand which seemed to push you away, as if someone were saying, ‘Unhappy men, what are you doing? Unhappy man, where are you going? Ah my son, why do you wish to damn yourself…?”

I am surrounded in this small city by people who are unhappy or unpeaceful. They complain almost constantly. They gossip about the flaws of others. They become steeped in bad news by watching horrific news shows glorifying death and destruction.

These are Christians who simply are not listening to the voice of God.

Why?

They have lost their faith. They do not believe St. John Vianney when he writes that, “All creation demands vengeance it is, in fact, God alone Who wishes to save this soul and Who is opposed to all that could be prejudicial to it. He watched over its salvation as if it were the only soul in the world.”

Americans seem healthy and wealthy, but are walking around with dead souls. These dead souls have completely forgotten that God is in daily life around them, desiring to show them His love and mercy.

If they keep ignoring His constant calls for love, these souls will only meet justice, and the justice will be an answer to their own choices.

John Vianney could not be clearer: “Either you will be religious or you will be damned. What is a religious person? This is nothing other than a person who fulfills his duties as a Christian. You say that I achieve nothing to you about dances and that you will indulge neither more nor less in them. You are wrong again. In ignoring and despising the instructions of your pastor, you draw down upon yourself fresh chastisements from God, and I, on my side, will achieve quite a lot for fulfilling my duties.  At the hour of my death, God will ask me not if you have fulfilled your duties but if I have taught you what you must do to fulfill them. You say too, that I shall never break down your resistance to the point of making you believe that there is harm in amusing yourself for a little while in dancing (computer games, movies, TV, eating out all the time, buying more and more stuff, listening or watching sport daily), You do not wish to believe that there is any harm in it? Well, that is your affair, As far as I am concerned, it is sufficient for me to tell you in such a way as will insure that you do understand, even if you want to do it all the same. By doing this I am doing all that I should do. That should not irritate you; your pastor is doing your duty. But, you will say, the Commandments of God do not forbid dancing, (or computer games, or television, or eating out all the time, or going to the Mall weekly, listening or watching sports daily), nor does Holy Scripture either. Perhaps you have not examined them very closely….It is impossible to please God and the world….These children (who go to the dances, or play computer games or watch movies and television daily, or eat out daily or shop weekly) are no longer Heaven-bent, but are fattening for Hell.”

“Go on, shameless fathers and mothers, go on into Hell, where the fury of God awaits you, you and all the good actions you have done in letting your children run such risks. Go on, they will not be long in joining you, for you have outlined the road plainly for them. Go and count the number of years that your boys and girls have lost, go before your Judge to give an account of your lives….”

I pray for God’s forgiveness in my own life for lost years and for not being even more strict than I seemed, by the world’s standards, with my own son. I pray that God shows parents daily how they teach their own children how to waste time and not pray or reflect or read the Scriptures.

We are too wealthy, too complacent, too easy with our selves and with our children. We say to ourselves, “Oh I want him or her to be just like other kids, normal, socialized, part of the culture.”

The new vanities and pleasures of the world have been rationalized into being “down time”, “cooling off time”, rest from pressures.

Instead, we have allowed satan to weave a web of lies that entertainment is a right.

God forgive us Catholic moms and dads in this century.  St. John Vianney saw what dancing did to his own community and rightly spoke against it.

I have never heard one priest from the pulpit talk about the evils of television, computer games, eating out all the time, listening to sports daily, shopping for unnecessary things.

Never have I been in a church where a priest has said that we Americans waste time and that we shall be responsible for teaching our children to waste time.

One of my best friends said to me today that there was a reason why the holy fathers and women fled to the desert in the ancient world.

We need to create new deserts, in our homes, in our hearts. St. John Vianney today would be addressing us with the subjects I added to his sermons.

Would we really listen?

Habits and Addictions

Habits and Addictions are chosen, as some point, because of a lack of order in one’s life. One chooses bad habits which become addictions, serious mortal sin. Then, the trap is so hard to break out of, one may be tempted to despair, the ultimate last sin of many.

Rules can shape our day, and for those who work, there exists many rules which mean  we have responsibilities to duty, to others. But, what is so easily forgotten, is that our first time must and does belong to God.

But, we choose to deny Him the time we owe to Him as creatures.

On this day of the feast of St. Benedict, I have been thinking of the beauty of the Rule and the scheduled hours of the typical monastic day. Those who have been reading my blog for a long time, know how many posts I have on order, scheduling and the necessity for good habits.

A habit of prayer or reading Scripture learned as a child or in college, or in one’s twenties, will be part of a person’s life until they die.

The absolute necessity of habits cannot be emphasized enough, and the building of habits goes hand in hand with life of the virtues.

Again, children can easily be taught to have good habits of prayer, fasting, mortification, even meditation.

I have been reading the sermons of St. John Vianney this week and one of the main themes in these has to do with the saint pointing out how much time people waste in doing things which not only have nothing to do with their salvation, but are contrary to those habits which bring about the cooperation with grace.

I repeat two points I have made on this blog. Number one, without a schedule, one cannot become holy. And, two good habits can be formed in a relatively short period of time.

To look at the first consideration, again, one sees so many people not only wasting time, but building into their daily lives the false idea that somehow they cannot help not praying or reading Scripture.

I know many people who watch hours of television, talk or even gossip, go shopping for hours, (for unnecessary things), spend hours on the phone complaining to friends and family about their lives and yet tell me they have no time to read a half-hour of Scripture or pray.

These very bad and even evil pursuits will push the Catholic off the path to holiness, and yet, the complaint of such people is that they have no free will to choose to pray.

This is a scary mindset. We are not guaranteed heaven by weekly Mass or Confession once a year. To think that interruptions must be tolerated, especially trivial ones, is simply a great lie.

Secondly, such bad habits lead to addictions. Now, many people inherit addictive behavior from and in families. Some people have become drug addicts and alcoholics because of environment as well as concupiscence and weakness.

But, the heresies which deny free-will deny that God has given us enough grace to combat all addictions.

An addiction may have started as a bad habit, like coming home from work and turning on the television, watching for hours and hours. After a time, the addiction, which frequently turns into mortal sin, the mortal sin of either gluttony, or greed or sloth, can also change into demonic activity.

A bad habit repeated and repeated is an open door for the minions of satan to take over one’s spiritual life.

Bad habits can become addictions.

As to wasting time, I wonder at people who have never had a schedule yet tell me they do not have time to say a daily rosary.

When I was teaching college and university classes, within the first week, I presented ways for my students to manage their time. I did time management charts with them to show them how much time they wasted, which could be used for homework and reflection.

One cannot learn anything without time to reflect on the subject at hand.

Reflection leads to insight.

I pray that those who have any addictions, be it to movies or computer games, may be enlightened to see the real sin of these repeated and time-taking activities. The sinful or spiritually dangerous content is a subject of another post.

But, as St. John Vianney preached, those who are mediocre in the faith, the lukewarm Catholics, will not have the strength, nor the merits necessary for salvation, as they repeatedly ignored the call to repentance and holiness.

St. John Vianney speaks clearly that those who are mediocre and lukewarm pave their own way to hell.

These Catholics want to go to heaven but are unwilling to break with the world around them, unwilling to make the hard choices necessary to develop good habits of prayer.

St. John Vianney preaches the importance of not shopping around for an easy confessor, but seeking out the one who will help one break away from being a “worldling”. He reminds his people in his sermons that they have forgotten God and only seek either pleasure from the world, or approval from other worldlings.

He encourages all to bid farewell to the world daily by choosing the path of God, the path of holiness.

From where I sit today, all I can see are Catholics who really have not decided to be Catholics. One is complaining about the Church’s teaching on contraception, that it is too harsh. One is complaining about “all” the pedophile priests. One is living a life that teaches his children that the minimum is enough to get into heaven.

The minimum is not enough to get into heaven. Remember, either we are moving towards God or away from God. There is no middle ground-none.

St. John Vianney plainly states that one cannot choose both the world and God. He decries the hearts which are so fixed on pleasures, which the Catholic life has been set aside for conformity to the world.

Too often, when I am writing, I think of the many people I know personally who have never read the Catechism of the Catholic Church, or who do not read anything the Popes write. All my family members have not read my blog nor will they. They do not read Catholic blogs or Catholic websites.

They then tell me that because they are in ignorance that God will have mercy on them.

Their faith did not die a death made by some sudden blow, but by the drip, drip, drip of the daily forgetfulness of religious duty and the lack of love for their own souls.

I pray that God will enlighten them, just as St. John Vianney prayed, and return to being really Catholic.

Good habits learned early bring one back to God. Bad habits continually sidetrack one away from God and eternal life.

Not scheduling means that one is open to the winds of distraction, the siren songs of the world, the sheer waste of time.

God forgive us and help us so that at our particular judgment we do not suffer from the grief of seeing a wasted life, a life spent adrift in a boat which could have been under our command. We are in control of our daily schedules. We have free will to avoid the creation of bad habits, of addictions, which may someday take over our lives to the point where we no longer have free will-but we decided, at some juncture, to go on that path of destruction-the destruction of our own spiritual lives, ending in the eternal gnashing of teeth and pain of total separation from God.

According to some statistics, up to 60% of Americans have addictive personalities. Part of this problem has been created by wealth, by fast-food, by a society which denies itself nothing.

Part of the problem is that Catholics are not taught to be moderate, or to give even when it hurts, not merely give over and above one’s income.

Addiction is most likely a state of mortal sin, chosen on a long pathway, and not something which “just happened.” Too many elderly people as well as teens have no idea that they are wasting away their lives in trivia. They have exchange the present moment when they could be meeting God to meet trivia instead.

Pray, pray for self-knowledge, the only thing which helps us be truthful to ourselves, our priests in the confessional. Pray to see the bad habits and addictions which keep us from becoming holy.

Hello to Readers in Russia

Hello to Readers in Greece

Not so many posts today

I am under the weather today and cannot blog as much as I have been doing this week. Apologies. Pray that I get over this little bug. Thanks.

St. John Vianney

I have started to read the Tan book which is made up of some of the sermons of the Cure of Ars.

I have read two and am happily startled at the profundity of thoughts mingled with common sense.

Two things have struck me concerning the first two sermons here. One is that this humble priest was not shy of lambasting his congregation for the real and obvious sins of Ars. He speaks of the tepid, mediocre person, who does some work on Sunday, never really repents of sin and is content not pursuing perfection.

Would that more priests had the courage to address the lack of holiness and the lukewarmness of the vast majority of Catholics.

Second, the good priest is not afraid to address all his parishioners, rich, poor, smug, struggling. The Cure of Ars makes no bones about addressing peasant farmers and businessmen, housewives and single girls alike.

Again, he addresses the real sin of the people of his vision.

Where are the holy priests today? Pray for holy priests?

The Three "Churches" in Providence

This journey through Providence must come to an end. I shall refer to two ideas and then move on.

The first is that the love of the Church Militant, the Church Suffering and the Church Triumphant reaches up to heaven in a great peal of love to God. This insight of Garrigou-Lagrange is so powerful and so obvious,  yet hidden from most of us daily.

This love is not only answered by God, but He, in His Divine Providence, begins and continues His love in us.

The up and down motion of love ties us to the Trinity, and holds together the three parts of the Church. How beautiful, how sublime.

The second idea for today is from an unnamed contemplative the author quotes:

"Though inseparable, heaven and the Church on earth are nevertheless distinct. Although there is enough heat in a single star to melt every particle of ice on the earth, yet we have still to submit to the rigors of winter. To raise a heavy weight with a powerful lever, we still need a fulcrum. Similarly, it is God's will that every action exerted from heaven on this world shall have its fulcrum here below. That fulcrum is to be found in the saints who are still pursuing their pilgrimage in this life. The incomprehensible might of heaven will not have its full efficacy on earth except through one who is really in communion with Christ, through one who is in immediate contact with Calvary and the cross."

Goodbye to Garrigou-Lagrange for now....

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Love My Readers

Dear Readers, I am so touched my the messages you send me. I cannot express the movement of the Holy Spirit in my life because of you.

All I can do is thank you so much and pray that God may give you the real desires of His heart that He places there.

Deo gratias. And some great music for you all.

A short but serious meditation from Providence

St Prosper wrote from the Council of Quiersey, (853 A.D.), “If some are saved, it is the gift of Him who saves; if some perish, it is the fault of them that perish.”

We need meat not milk

(A side note on the works of Garrigou-Lagrange.

The power of this priest’s insights partly comes from his mastery of the works of St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, as well as other Doctors of the Church.

How much has been lost in modern times because priests no longer read or study the great minds of our faith. How many priests do not even know Latin, and cannot read the texts in the original.

We need priests who can bring the jewels of the writings of these great saints back into the pulpit, back into retreats.

Pray that seminaries in the United States and in Europe renew the love of Augustine, Aquinas, Catherine of Siena, Teresa of Avila, John of the Cross,  as well as the Scriptures.

We need meat, not milk, from our priests.)

I sincerely hope readers have enjoyed this partial unpacking of Garrigou-Lagrange’s Providence. There is so much more, but I need to move on to other topics.  One of my good priest friends just gave me a fantastic gift, the biography by Robert Gray of Cardinal Manning. I feel like a kid on Christmas Day, as I also have Garrigou-Lagrange’s Predestination, a book I read years and years ago but did not finish because of the annus horribilis of 2009.

One of the things I learned from Garrigou-Lagrange was a reference in Tobias 13:2 to the Harrowing of Hell.  Interesting. And, I want to, again, quote this beautiful section on us uniting our selves with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

“United then with the sacrifice of Christ perpetuated in substance upon the altar, our death will itself be a sacrifice of adoration both of God’s supreme dominion, who is master of life and death, of the majesty of Him ‘leadeth down to hell and bringeth up again’ (Tob. 13:2) It will be a sacrifice of supplication to obtain the final grace both for ourselves and for those who are to die in the same hour. It will also be a sacrifice of reparation for the sins of our life, and a sacrifice of thanksgiving for all the favors we have received since our baptism.”

If anyone can find any books by Adolphe Rette or Pere Gardeil or Bede Rose, O.S.B, please let me know.

I am going to segue into a complaint at this point. Garrigou-Lagrange wrote this beautiful passage, quoting the old prayer at death.

“Go forth from this world, O Christian soul, in the name of God the Father Almighty, who created thee; in the name of Jesus Christ, Son of the living God, who suffered for thee; in the name of the Holy Ghost, who was poured out upon thee; in the name of the holy and glorious Virgin Mary, Mother of God; in the name of Blessed Joseph, predestined spouse of the Virgin; in the name of the angels and archangels…; in the name of the patriarchs and prophets; in the name of the Apostles and the Evangelists; in the name of the holy martyrs and confessors; and of all the saints of God. May thy place be this day in peace and thy abode in holy Sion, through Our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Here is my complaint. Realizing that there are only 69 active priests in this diocese of 100,000 Catholics, I still think it is absolutely disgraceful that those elderly Catholics who are dying in hospitals, in hospices and at home cannot get a priest to come and anoint them, giving them the sacrament at the end of the dutiful lives.

Many of these old people, and I know many, tithed all their lives, gave to all the bishops’ appeals, even some went to daily Mass. Some wanted to convert or revert at the end and could not get a priest to bring them into the Church or here their confessions.

Why? Because I know at least two priests who refuse to make hospital visits and who refuse to hear confessions. There may be more. And, I also know that at one conference for priestly formation for sems in this diocese, the main speaker said it was more important to go to a high school football game and evangelize the young rather than go to the rest homes and bring Communions.

Why the “either-or”? Why ignore those who all their lives lived in accordance with the laws and love of Holy Mother Church and are now abandoned at the end.

I know two families, which phoned for three days for a priest, any priest, to come and hear the last confession of their grandfather and another of their uncle.

I know of a two people who were very faithful to the Church and even gave large amounts to their local parishes, whose families could not get a priest to come and bless the graves at burial, and the lay people had to say prayers themselves.

Why? Why? I know some priests in this diocese who will do nothing in the evening, after five, as if life and death stopped at office hours.

I beg God for a priest at my bedside in my last hours. May God grant me this gift.  I pray this priest is my own son.

More from Mother Elizabeth of the Cross

I am continuing with the quotation from the retreats of Mother Elizabeth of the Cross.

Christ was speaking to her, remember, of accepting suffering.

“My cross is to be found in pride, in sin; give Me a little help in carrying that cross. The fruit of My carrying the cross for you is that you desire nothing her below, that you be prepared to suffer always, that you desire all that the divine will desires, that you make expiation for the sins of men, of My priests and spouses especially, that you complain of nothing, that you keep your soul fast to My own, that your heart be occupied solely with love for Me.”

And another snippet from this wonderful note: “The more your sufferings closely resemble Mine, the happier will you be…it is the proof that you are loved more than others. Be kind of heart toward those who will bring or have already brought the cross to you.”

Therefore, to join one’s self with the sacrifice of the Mass, and as Garrigou-Lagrange notes, daily, even hourly, as Mass is said throughout the world, throughout the day.

If one joins with Christ Crucified in the Mass, one’s own death will be a “sacrifice of adoration”, a “sacrifice of supplication”, a sacrifice of reparation” and a “sacrifice of thanksgiving”.

Much to meditate on here….

To be continued….

Perfection Series II and Perseverance

I pray and many times it is hard to keep praying. I get tired. Prayer becomes wearisome. I worry that if I say the same things daily, my mind and heart will not be in the prayer, but far away, as I cannot always focus.

Focusing takes practice, but also good health. There are so many people who think that the very sick or those in pain can pray. It is very hard to pray when one is ill and tired.

To teach the young to pray well, when they are healthy and full of energy is an excellent thing. Prayer must be habitual. Yes, sometimes habit becomes boring, but if one is faithful, God will reward persistence.

The message of the chapter on a happy death is one of persistence in prayers and good works. We must never give up the fight.

Remember St. Francis’ comment, “My God never says, ‘Enough’”.

 One of the things I learned from Garrigou-Lagrange, which indeed I have never known before I read Providence, is that one can have Masses said for one’s self to have a happy, holy death. Now, I knew that one could have Masses said for the living and the dead, and for one’s intentions, especially health issues which are serious. But, I did not know that Pope Benedict XV wrote in a letter to the director of the Archconfraternity of Our Lady for a Happy Death that the faithful should have Masses said for a happy death.

“This is indeed the greatest of all graces, the grace of the elect; and if at the last moment we unite ourselves by an intense act of love with Christ’s sacrifice perpetuated on the altar, we may even obtain remission of the temporal punishment due to out sins and thus be saved from purgatory.”

Garrigou-Lagrange writes that we should pray in the Name of Jesus Christ specifically for a happy death; that we should united ourselves with the Eucharistic consecration, “the essence of the sacrifice of the mass, pondering on the four ends of sacrifice: adoration, supplication, reparation, and thanksgiving. Let us bear in mind that in this continuous oblation of Himself, our Lord is offering, as well the whole of His mystical body, especially those who suffer spiritually and thereby share a little in His own suffering. This is a path that will carry us far if only we follow it perseveringly.”

Perseverance cannot be emphasized too much. Persevere in prayer, in attending Mass, in Adoration.

Again, there is great wisdom in one of the footnotes. In a book on the foundress of the Carmelit convent of Fontainebleau, Mere Elizabeth de la Croix, Garrigou-Lagrange found this about her visions of Christ. Christ said to this nun that “The two chief motives that led Me to acquiesce in Pilate’s condemnation of Me were the will and glory of My Father and a hunger for the salvation of men. Your whole life, in its smallest details, should be dominated by these two sentiments. Take upon yourself My own sufferings…”

Are we generous enough to do so?

To be continued…

More on Providence and A Happy Death

Our continued obedience to God is not a guarantee of either merit or the grace of final perseverance. Condign merit, that is, merit “founded in justice”, does not mean we shall have the grace of final perseverance. Congruous merit, that is, merit which “founded in rights of friendship uniting us to God” also does not guarantee the grace of a happy death.

Any merit gained can be lost through mortal sin-one mortal sin. The only thing which preserves us from mortal sin is God’s mercy. Herein lays the key to humility.  We can always “blow it” at the end. If we are restored to grace or we are kept it grace to the second we die, it is because of God’s mercy. But, we can pray for final perseverance. Here is what Trent states in the words of Garrigou-Lagrange:

“…the just man can merit eternal lie, si in gratia decesserit, if he dies in the state of grace.”

Or,

“…anyone in the state of grace may merit eternal life only on condition that the merits he has gained have not been lost or have been mercifully restored through the grace of conversion.”

We work out our salvation, our happy death, through humility, realizing that it is the work of God and not our own work which guarantees the grace of final perseverance.

But, we can and must pray and prayer can gain us a happy death, as this prayer is aimed at obtaining God’s mercy.

“What we obtain through prayer is not always  merited: the sinner, for example, who now is in the state of spiritual death, is able with the grace of actual grace to pray for and obtain sanctifying or habitual grace, which could not be merited, since it is the principle of merit. It is the same with the grace of final perseverance; if we cannot merit it in the strict sense, but we can obtain it through prayer for ourselves, and indeed for others also…”

This is essential-we can prepare ourselves to receive the grace of a happy death by leading a better life and through prayer.

Now, here is another interesting facet of this discussion. There are four conditions required of prayer which make prayer “infallibly efficacious”?

These four things are; piety, humility, confidence and perseverance.

God helps us persevere in prayer. For example, there are several atheists and agnostics, as well as confused people in need of healing for whom I have prayed for years. I shall continue to pray for these people and not give up. God is helping me persevere in these prayers. I am not doing this on my own volition, my own will.

It is a great temptation to give up on prayers not seen to be answered. But our perseverance is itself a mercy from God.

So, I end this section with this prayer.

God, give the graces of salvation to these, and let EF,CM, CM, EM, PC, TM, JM, CM, PD, and all the Ds be led into the Catholic Church, established in truth, and be saved. Heal M and R and let them embrace the vocations you called them to in this life, letting them die in those vocations. Make Z, G, and E holy, saintly priests. Let them all die a holy death in You, O Lord.

Am

Perfection Series II on Providence

Garrigou-Lagrange has a chapter on the grace of a happy death. He refers to St. Augustine’s book, Gift of Perseverance, which I have not read. It is now on my list.

This chapter speaks to one of the most common heresies of our day, heresies which are common in both England and America.

The Semi-Pelagians, Protestants and Jansenists all have different views of death, as well as life. Garrigou-Lagrange does us a great favor by defining these heresies, which are so popular.

Here we go and pay attention to this post, as you most likely will encounter or have encountered people who believe in these false positions.

“The Semi-Pelagians maintained that man can have the initium fidei et salutis, the beginning of faith and a good desire apart from grace, this beginning being subsequently confirmed by God. According to their view, not God but the sinner himself takes the first step in the sinner’s conversion. On the same principles the Semi-Pelagians maintained that, once justified by grace, man can persevere until death without a further special grace. For the just to persevere unto the end, it is enough, they said, that the initium salutis, this natural good will, should persist.”

(Should I comment here that this is the case for so many Protestants, who do not believe in sanctifying grace or the sacraments, but think the initial grace of conversion is enough? See my posts on the types of grace and on converting Protestants.)

“It amounted to this, that God not only wills all men to be saved, but wills it to the same extent in every case; and further, that precisely the element which distinguishes the just from the wicked –the initium salutis and those final good dispositions which are to be found in one and not in another, in Peter and not in Judas—is not to be referred to God as its author; He is simply an onlooker.”

“It meant the rejection of the mystery of predestination and the ignoring of those words of our Lord: ‘No man can come to Me, except the Father, who sent me, draw him’ (John 6:44), words that apply both to the initial and to the final impulse of our hearts to God.”

All our thoughts for goodness and all our desires for God are from God and not ourselves.

Continuing, Garrigou-Lagrange notes that St. Augustine makes it clear that “prevenient grace cannot be merited or in any way be due to a purely natural good impulse, since the principle of merit is sanctifying grace, and this, as its very name implies, is a gratuitous gift….”

So, too, the grace of final perseverance is a gift, a special gift, as Garrigou-Lagrange notes referring to St. Augustine. This is a gift of mercy, given to the elect.

Now, here is the area which some people find difficult. And, in the future, I shall unpack Garrigou-Lagrange’s book, Predestination, which this section anticipates.

The Council of Trent makes it clear that God makes it possible for all people to be saved and observe His precepts, and in fact, helps the elect persevere to the end.

God does will a great good for one over another. There are “levels of holiness” according to our own make-up, our unique souls and unique bodies. But, God never asks the impossible and gives to all what is needed for salvation.

The Second Council of Orange used St. Augustine’s arguments against the Semi-Pelagians. “Thus it remains true,” notes Garrigou-Lagrange, “that the grace of a happy death is a special grace peculiar to the elect.”

Now, some Protestants err on the opposite end of this false thinking.  This is the belief that God, indeed, asks for the impossible. The heresy of Jansenism falls into this error, of thinking that certain of God’s commandments are impossible, even for the elect, as they are denied graces to do certain things.

To think that God would ask or even command the impossible is a common thought among some Catholics today, who tolerate serious sin in their own or others’ lives, thinking that is all these people can do, or achieve. They are denying God’s justice and His mercy--His Providence.

I have heard people say, “Catholicism is too hard” as if God is not standing there giving grace to live up to the life of discipleship. If God does not give us sufficient grace to be saved, then human liberty or freedom is impaired as well.

What flows from this error are these fallacies: 1) sin cannot be avoided; 2) sin no longer exists as humans cannot choose; 3) there is no hell.

We have heard these arguments lately, have we not, from certain famous theologians? In their denial of hell, they deny both human liberty and God’s sufficient graces. The fallacy which follows is that of sola fide, maintaining that good works are totally impossible and unnecessary for salvation. I know many people who actually believe this.

There is no hope. There is only presumption, points out Garrigou-Lagrange. “Jansenism and Protestantism, in fact, oscillate between presumption and despair, without ever being able to find true Christian hope and charity.”

So, one of the Baptists I know sins and never goes to Confession, of course, not believing in the sacraments, and thinks he is saved because of his one moment of conversion. That he drinks too much, or sleeps around, or never goes to church on Sunday does not matter.

He is saved.

Trent states the hard truth, “Whereas we should all have a steadfast hope in God, nevertheless (without a special revelation) no one can have absolute certainty that he will persevere to the end.”

Now, the following points may have never been taught to my readers before this.

 “…the principle of merit is the state of grace and perseverance in that state; but the principle of merit cannot itself be merited.” God continues grace in us, we do not. But, we cannot take this for granted.

It is a special gift to die in the state of grace.  As Garrigou-Lagrange notes, the “just must  humbly admit that they have really no right to the grace of final perseverance”.

Obviously, humility is key…the principle of merit cannot be merited. This means that the state of grace to get merit cannot be merited. Such is grace, freely given by God to us and none of our so-called meritorious acts mean anything if we are in mortal sin.

This is the sadness of those who have chosen heresy, even false religions. This is why it is our duty to be involved in evangelization.

At death, we need to be in the state of grace, we need to have lived in charity, and we need to have had our will correspond to the Will of God.

This is why we must pray for a happy death. We cannot take it for granted.

To be continued…