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Thursday, 19 July 2012

Olympic disgust three

If you never have lived in a city where there has been an Olympics. count yourself lucky. Londoners are not happy. It is as if one was having a party for mature friends, and then discovered your teen-aged daughter and son invited all their friends to your nice, organized soiree. All of a sudden, there are 300 kids on the patio asking where the pop and computer games are...Also, the rules are getting more and more odd.

Really, can you imagine these early set of games? Here is my take--τὰ Ὀλύμπια 

(Panning out from the Acropolis, an aerial view -heck, this is pretend, right-of a bunch of guys in loin-clothes or nothing on )

(A media girl from the local news center at the well is interviewing the athletes)

(This journalist is named Athena.)

Athena: Here we are in the center of the training grounds for this Olympiad. Let's find out where this young man is from and what his sport is...Hi, what is your name, sir?

Young man: Pericles, but I am not related, you know...

Athena: Sure, what will you be doing here this week?

Pericles: I am not an athlete. You can talk to those guys there, Plato and Ephorus, they will run in the foot race.

Athena: Well, I can't interview them because well, I have an artist here drawing pictures, and you are know.

Pericles: Actually, I am a caterer. I set up stalls and sell olives, figs, dried fish, honey cakes, wine, flat breads, cheese, and other things. I even have fresh water in little clay jars with little clay lids-look-for taking into the stadium. They are recyclable. When the water is gone, you just throw them on the ground and stamp on them. 

Athena: But, Pericles, this year no one can take water into the stadium. Security rules. We are expecting troubles from the Goths, I think. 

Pericles: No water jars? Oh, no and I invested so much in these. Well, I still have giant leaves with ice and snow from the mountains here in this special hide carrier so that people can stay cool.

Athena: Pericles, no one can take ice or snow into the arena either. 

Pericles: What about the aulos and specialty Egyptian sistrum types of instruments for making noise to encourage your athletes? I have bags of them made for the tourists to cheer on the home teams. I even went to Egypt and picked some up, but they each have a strange word I can't read on the side.

Athena: I think these characters say "China". No, all those musical instruments will not be allowed, either. Oh dear, you must have missed the announcements posted up on the pillars of the Parthenon.

Pericles: I haven't had time...shucks, I might as well pack all this up and go home.

Athena: I am sorry. Where is home? 

Pericles: Well, I guess I might as well tell you the truth. My real name is Varazdat and I am a boxer. I was intending to make some money on the side before the games started.

Athena: You mean you are the future King of Armenia? Wow! What a scoop for me.

Varazdat: Well, sure. Go ahead and tell people. I am just a little concerned as I hear there may be more wars involving the Romans and the Goths-- and some of my cousins have been banished to a place called Britannia already by the Emperor.  I really do not want to go there.

Athena: Why?

Varazdat: I hear it is called the Nanny State of the North and it rains all the time.

Athens: Well, that is all now from Athens. Maybe I'll just go speak with that guy over there. By the way, good luck with your fisticuffs. 

Varazdat: Ah, thanks. I have a good feel about this competition. I am in great shape and I am the greatest...

Athena: Sure, right, bye.