Like so many other families, my immediate family has three members who are fallen-away Catholics. They are "practical atheists".
Thinking about them and praying daily for their re-version on the rosary brings up feelings of grief. Yet, one must trust in Divine Providence, to provide grace for these persons.
St. Bernard of Clairvaux ends his treatise on the steps of humility with a meditation on St. Martha at the tomb of her brother, St. Lazarus. Bernard remarks that she had faith, but perhaps we do not understand how to ask God for things or for persons. In his effort to teach us humility, Bernard notes that the humble do not demand answers to prayers, but request, politely, with trust.
In addition, Bernard writes that those who have died spiritually, such as our family members who are living in sin, separated from God and His Church, not attending Mass, not going to confession or receiving Christ in the Eucharist, are like the monk who has been cast out of the monastery for not only grievous sins, but for a spirit of rebellion, as well as hardness of heart.
Bernard reminds us that on Good Friday, we do not pray for the "excommunicated". But, pray we must as long as there is hope for repentance, for change. Lay people are excommunicated for some serious reasons.
But God forbid that we should cease to pray in
our hearts for such even as these though we do
not venture to do so openly, as Paul also mourned
for those whom he knew to have died impenitent.
For although they shut themselves out from our united prayers,
they cannot altogether do so from
their effects. They should nevertheless realize
the great danger which those incur whom the
Church, which prays confidently for Jews, heretics
and heathen, dares not to mention in her worship.
For when on Good Friday prayer is expressly
offered for certain wicked persons, no mention is
made of those who are excommunicated.
