The poverty of the younger generations is the lack of the ability to make friends. I am not sure why this is so.
Perhaps it has to do with a thought I have shared on this blog before, which is that people who grow up either as only children or one of two may have trouble making friends.
Part of the problem is the sexualization of relationships, so that people do not know how to be friends, but only sexual partners. This emphasis on sex has caused a great diminishing of the love of friendship in society.
I am not sure. All I know is that there has developed an "idolatry" of the family, again, something of which I have written, an idolatry which denies time and effort needed to build Catholic community, which is built on friendship.
The Europeans are so much better at making friends than the Americans. Most Europeans I have met value family, but also make time for friends. I have been wondering at the difference.
Here are some thoughts on the subject.
One, Americans tend to work too much and therefore, their friends are mostly work cohorts and not friends based on mutual interests.
Two, Europeans have gathering places which are conducive to friendship, such as coffee houses and pubs. Taverns in America do not provide the same ambience for discussion and intense sharing.
Three, families are, of course, valued in Europe, but so are friends. Friends are included in family gatherings and there are overlaps between family and friends.
Four, European men and women do not seem afraid to have close friends of the same gender. American men seen afraid of intimate male friendships. American women do not seem to have those fears.
Five, Catholic men gather for utilitarian reasons but not for philosophical or theological reasons in America. This is not good, as friendship is not merely building houses or doing finances for various groups, but discussing real issues.
Six, friendships take time. Too many people do not make time to cultivate friends. I try to meet my best friend in Iowa at least once a month if not once every three weeks. We have been close friends for eight years, and despite three years apart, picked up just where we left off. This is a test of real friendship.
Seven, good friends bring one closer to Christ and closer to Mary. One must choose one's friends carefully and not settle for false relationships.
More later..
