A double-edged sword of the Dark Night is the revelation of the depth of one's sins, and more specifically, the deep-rooted predominant fault.
The down-side is the realization that one should and does deserve hell for one's sins. To face the pure God and see the horror of sin is part of the purgation of the Dark Night.
The upside of this is the gaining of the virtue of humility.
Being in the Dark Night and sensing one's sins is very much like an experience I have been having for three weeks, since about May 23rd.
As a star-gazer, I go out at night and study the sky. But, on that night dated above, I could hear the loud snorting of a large deer. Now, most of the deer in this area are White-Tails, but this deer which I could barely sense in the darkness, was much larger and probably a Mule Deer.
Since that time, almost every night, this large deer has passed through the property, snorting, pawing, making noises which indicate that it is claiming the farmyard for its territory.
I have not been able to see this large, loud deer, most likely a buck.
But, I know it is here, even tonight, underneath my window.
It lets me know who is boss. It is intelligent enough to avoid the motion lights.
The same is true for my predominant fault. I can sense it and see the results of it, but to shine the light on it fully seems impossible. But, I must ask God to shine the light on this sin, or I shall never be one with Him, the Bridegroom.
He will not come until the Bride is purified.
Like the buck, the sin comes and goes, making noises in the dark. I must pray for complete sight and this is scary, as one immediately realizes how unlovely one actually is and of all things, we all want to be loved.
Disclosure brings risk, but without taking the risk, one can never be united with God until after purgatory.
And, the Church needs saints.
To see one's sins humbly and humbly to accept the radical love of God forms the basis for the journey into the Dark Night.
There are times when one is persuaded one is going to hell,.
This is not a bad insight but a truthful one.
Such are some of the notes from the Dark Night....
BTW, the Mule Deer have a black bit on the tail and the White-Tails do not.