One of the traits of the Man-Eater Woman is the syndrome called "passive aggression". Passive aggressiveness is actually a form of abuse and must be address in a marriage or in children.
As a reminder, passive aggression is suppressed anger. Frequently, the person's main symptom is moodiness or sulkiness. Complaining and covert revenge form part of the daily passive aggressive behavior.
The Man-Eater is a professional at being passively aggressive. This woman is the manipulator type, who does not come right out and share her feelings, but expects everyone, especially her husband, to just "know" how she feels.
Manipulation becomes a way of controlling situations the passive aggressive person finds difficult or uncomfortable. The Man-Eater wife or sister-in-law refuses to engage directly but gossips and talks behind the husband's back. They form cliques in order to "punish" the husband.
Sadly, psychology forgets that some behavior is sinful. Emotional disappointments in life do not give a wife the right to be sullen, or short, or disengage in real conversation. The person falls into "victim mentality". We Catholics are not given a pass on sin just because we have been hurt in the past. The sacrament of Confession is the first place to start dealing with abusive behavior.
The woman, if she has sisters or cousins, or good friends, rallies the troops against the husband.
If a woman loves her husband, the others may want to interfere with the marriage, which is a mortal sin on their part-marriage busters are Man-Eaters.
If the couple is Catholic, prayer is essential and praying together is a must. One person told me that prayer and effort saved his marriage, but the family had to move far, far away. Sometimes, counseling is a necessity. But, the key is that the one acting passive aggressively must want to change.
If the wife, she has to stop asking her husband to be the second-in-command. There is a reason why God created the patriarchy and a reason why the husband is the head of the family.
The man in the Man-Eater house is expected not to confront, not to be honest, to "turn in his man card" and take the abuse, and abuse it is.
The answer is "no" to such destructive behavior. Manipulation must be pointed out as deceit.
If a spouse can love another person through this syndrome, good, but the wife must be willing to change. That is key.
I have written this for the men who have written in about problems in marriages and families. There are passive aggressive husbands as well, but the syndrome is behind some of the hatred some women have for men.
Men, if an extended family is destructive to your wife and children, you must move. This advice is not merely mine, but from those who have been in this situation.
Only openness and love can conquer such evils, but wives, and husbands, have to desire to change. If not, the person who continually decides to be passively aggressive may lose their souls to unforgiveness, spite, malice, revenge.
Thank God we Catholics have the sacraments. I suggest that couples who are having difficulty with the extended family talk about how to deal with the chains which may keep one from becoming holy, and the man in the family has to keep carrying his Man Card and never give it up.
