One of things I am learning is how to discern God's Will in an extremely difficult and immediate situation. Something happened today which I shall use as an example.
Three times in the past month, God warned me in prayer that something for which I was preparing and working towards was not going to happen. The first time I thought I heard God in prayer, I merely thought that this warning was my imagination, a warning growing out of my own self, based on anxiety.
The second time I hear this message, I thought that perhaps it could be God talking to me, but I doubted the message which I was hearing, and again thought that this message was from my own imagination.
The third time I heard this message, I began to listen and wondered, is God telling me this and if so why? Then, I asked for a sign in order to determine whether what I was hearing was true or false.
I did not get the affirmation I needed for the counter-decision not to do something I had planned for months. As I did not get the affirmation, I doubted the message.
Then, this morning, the thing for which I was planning blew up in my face. What I had heard came true and I was in the state of amazement that what I had heard had been, all these weeks, from God.
I am learning discernment at a different level. This level is one which demands listening, reflecting, but responding.
My spiritual director is out of the country, otherwise I would have discussed these stages with him.
Here is the situation.
I heard three times that I would not be flying out of Malta today. I heard that this would not happen and that I should listen. I did not trust myself or God well enough.
When I was at the check-in, I was told that my travel agent had made a mistake on my ticket, putting the wrong name on the ticket, using only my middle names and not my last name. I was not allowed on the plane and had to buy another ticket.
I do not know whether I shall get a refund from the travel agent or not, but I am not getting a refund on the fast train or the hotel, as I cancelled on the same day.
Thank God I had enough money for a new ticket-just.
So, what am I suppose to learn from this?
One, to know that God indeed "speaks" to me about things ahead of time to be able to change, to plan, to respond.
Two, to know that I am not trusting myself, but in God, and that I can trust Him, especially in Adoration.
Three, that God did not intend to change this situation of fault or even carelessness, or even mistakes, because people all have free will. But, what He wants to teach us is that He can train us to respond quickly to a situation even ahead of time.
If I had trusted in God and listened, I would have my two fees returned, the hotel and the train ticket refunded, and, also, I could have had my ticket taxes refunded.
But, more than that, God did not want me to fly out today, for some reason. I do not know the reason, except I did use the day to discuss Godly things and pray with a friend. Perhaps, God thought this was more important than my leaving today.
We need to learn to react quickly to situations which are awkward and even expensive, but according to God's Plan. God does not care about comfort or money or situations which we think are odd. He tests our obedience
His Divine Will shall be done. Can we discern early enough to respond properly?
Can we learn to trust in God and not our own self?
