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Friday, 24 July 2015

The Blame Game Part Two

Continuing with thoughts this morning's thoughts and observations, which are not new, I have seen the denial of sins, both venial and mortal, from people who refuse to think outside the psychological box.

One man I know has never comes to grips with his falling away from the Church by his own volition, because he blames his parents.

Another couple blames the bishop for charging for annulments, which he does not in their diocese, for being in an unholy, irregular marriage.

Yet another young woman blames a priest for saying something against contraception, which she did not like, as she was contracepting and did not want to hear the truth--so she blames, still, the Church.

And so on....

The refrain of complaints reveals the lack of truth, the continuation of lies, which cover up the fact that these people, like others, have left the Church by an act of the will, their own wills.

For years, parents have not taught consequences--no time out bench will curb a rebellious spirit, and few parents take away things, such as rights to the TV or own computer, or the use of "grounding", a popular punishment for teens in my day.

I know one parent who literally saved the soul of her girl by refusing to let her to finals in a band competition because of very bad behavior. Yes, for awhile, the teen was angry, but then, she cooled down and recollected that what she had done required a consequence.

I am reminded of the famous scene from the Peter O'Toole version of Good-by Mr. Chips, in which a young lad was not allowed to play in the tennis finals because he had not done his Latin homework.

Where are those adult heroes today?

Too often people think being "strict" with children will harm them when in actuality, in psychological studies. done on adults with problems and parenting styles, children from families with lax parents have more problems than those from strict families.

Boundaries and consequences create maturity.

The blame game has to stop, and adults who are whingers must stop looking to reasons why they sin and stop sinning.

Reading the lives of the saints may help, as the saints are hardest on themselves, as real sinners, realizing that God will not excuse sin.

Is God merciful? Of course, but He is also just, and the two attributes cannot be separated.

Do some people suffer more than others in trying to combat sin? Yes.

Are some people naturally more good than others by grace? Yes.

But, we are not given a pass if we must fight against our natural tendencies towards sin just because we were hurt or even damaged as children or even as adults.

I remind readers of the four heroes of Faith in my own family-three women and a man molested for years and years by a priest in a boarding school. None left the Church, three got married and had as many children as God sent, and all loved God the entire life.

Were their marriages difficult sometimes? Yes. Have they struggled with deep feelings of hurt and rejection? Yes.

Did they forgive the priest, long dead? Yes.

Forgiveness and long-suffering form the two pillars of heroic virtue.

One does not have to walk away from God because of the sins of others. In fact, many times, the gross sins of others can be the means of coming towards God more readily.