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Friday, 16 November 2012

Hello from the city

Supertradmum is not supertradnun. I could not join the Marines at my age. Up at 4:30, breakfast is tea and toast, period; prayer, work, prayer, work, one hour of solitude; one hour of Adoration; one meal a day-no fresh vegetables but fresh fruit; mostly veggie diet; toast and soup for supper, except for Friday, which is a fast day, on which one only has bread and cheese.

I was ok with the food, believe it or not, as they gave cereal to me and eggs as needed, but not with the hours. No coffee breaks but one, and at the time set only; but the hours were simply too exhausting. If I got up and sang Nocturnes, by four in the afternoon, I was a zombie.

To get one's body into habits at a young age is the only way to do this.

However, God is merciful and has indicated that the lay life can lead to the same states of grace if one cooperates.

Our baptismal graces give us the tremendous gift of the Indwelling of the Trinity. We do not recognize the call or the graces which are there for all of us, no matter what our state in life.

This is the call of the laity-to be perfect, even as our Heavenly Father is perfect. And, only through humility and mortifications, chosen and sent by Him. Each one of us has an individual way. He chooses these, we do not. Having cancer has been one way for me. Being called to be a contemplative in the world is another cross. Being a failure in the eyes of those closest to me is another. No matter. None of this matters.

The other amazingly simple point, which I should have known, is that I am used to being alone and not with people all day. I actually felt claustrophobic, not because of the enclosure, but because of being with people most of the day.




However, I have seven books of notes for plenty of posts on perfection. But, I am simply, exhausted physically. I shall get back to you all soon.

In the meantime, get and read two books--Robert Hugh Benson's None Other Gods, and Lord of the World.




And a special note to Therese and Anita; everyday time we sang the blessings for our absence sisters, I prayed for you especially. God has a plan....

10 comments:

Richard Collins said...

Welcome back and very pleased (if that's the right sentiment) to see you back.

Supertradmum said...

Thanks. If one is going to be a Navy Seal, one must join young...but this is not my vocation. However, I greatly benefited from crushing the doubt and also having a long retreat. The Tyburns are actually more Cistercian than Benedictine. Bernard would be pleased. Now, pray hard, as I am homeless

Anita Moore said...

Thank you for remembering me in the enclosure. I'm glad you have derived benefits from your time there; and it's also good to have you back!

Anonymous said...

So glad you are back, Supertradmum. I'm grateful for your candor. I have wanted to do what you did for a long time, but I think I would experience the same reaction. How wonderful to know that the Lord can use us as we are!

Sissy

Anonymous said...

I missed your informed commentary. The recent past was a great time for retreat and prayer. Fatigue and impossible regimen are a handicap to those ends, if not detriments, tried long after a different way of life.

Pat

Patricia Cecilia said...

Dear Supertradmom, I am glad that you went and returned, and can empathize with the 'must join young' comment. I was remembering you in my morning offering intentions along with a interiorly-beautiful 17-yo I know who is now with the Daughters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist, and just wondering how you were doing, given that neither of us is a spring chicken.

I hope that 'crushing the doubt' will produce spiritual freedom, new wings on your words. I look forward to the posts from all those notes.

ellen said...

Welcome back. I think you have an important mission to help lay people who are seeking holiness. Although I am older than you, and a life-long Catholic, I feel very ignorant about the spiritual life. At the moment, I am reading "Divine Intimacy" by Fr. Gabriel. God bless you, and I hope you find a suitable home soon.

New Sister said...

May God reward you for your prayers and your ministry.

Yes, yes, I will pray for you; may it please God to clearly illumine your path.

Lorraine said...

Supertradmum, I am not surprised what happened. It was best to let you go and find out for yourself. More than a few of us find out that we are attracted more by the IDEA of religious life than the reality of it.

As you say, it is for the young who can adapt themselves, which is why religious communities often have their cut off age at 30

Anonymous said...

One more thing, I did the same thing you did. Gave away everything, even my clothes. I had nothing when I left and had to start from scratch.

God will take care of you. This I promise you.

Lorraine