When one is in the Dark Night, at first, one remembers the past regarding sins which were not sensitively seen as sins, and failures is the use of gifts or talents. That is, one sees one's pride and serf-centeredness. One is being moved into purification
The darkness, however, is not merely falling into a forgetfulness of consolations, past deeds, or even past sins. The darkness may be simplified by describing it in two categories. This post is on the first darkness.
The first is the darkness of faith. One cannot see where God is leading one. One cannot see the path of purgation. One can only take steps as if one is walking in a mist. This mist is necessary to purify the imagination and senses. To live completely in faith means that one cannot see a road-map or plan from God clearly, or, perhaps, not at all. One walks, literally, in the dark. Recall that in another post on the Dark Night, I said that one feels fenced in by God. That is part of the darkness. This darkness of living in faith involves a severe daily realization of one's sins.
I am going to refer to John of the Cross and his description of the souls in purgatory to describe partially what this first definition of darkness is like. The boldface type is important for understanding this first type of darkness.
The intensity of thinking one is going to hell introduces this stage, as one sees the enormity of one's sins daily, but that passes into more of a purgatorial stage, wherein, one does live in the habit of faith, hope and charity.
It is really hard for me to understand how protestants can enter into a deep spirituality without coming to some idea that purgatory is necessary-either on earth before one dies, or after death.
This is the reason why those who lie in purgatory suffer great misgivings as to whether they will ever go forth from it and whether their pains will ever be over. For, although they have the habit of the three theological virtues—faith, hope and charity—the present realization which they have of their afflictions and of their deprivation of God allows them not to enjoy the present blessing and consolation of these virtues. For, although they are able to realize that they have a great love for God, this is no consolation to them, since they cannot think that God loves them or that they are worthy that He should do so; rather, as they see that they are deprived of Him, and left in their own miseries, they think that there is that in themselves which provides a very good reason why they should with perfect justice be abhorred and cast out by God for ever.134
John Liberto, Mt. Purgatory |