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Friday, 27 December 2013

Mate Material

Well, all day today, this idea kept coming into my head- a post on what Catholic women should be looking for in a potential mate.

Now, some would say that such an idea is calculating, but common sense and the art of thinking like a Catholic must come into play when one is open to marriage.

After spending a day with lovely young couples whose marriages were "made in heaven", I decided to write down some of my observations for the lady readers who are called to marriage.

A few ideas:

1) Make sure you look for a man who is holier and more religious than you are. Do not fall into the horrible false thinking that you can change a man. One does not marry in order to change someone, but to accept them as they are. A man who demonstrates more spirituality than you, and the desire to grow in holiness, will be the "it" man.

2) Make sure he is capable of being the leader of your domestic church. Can he pray? Does he pray the rosary daily? Does he go to Mass during the week? Does he go to Adoration? Does he read the Bible, and even say the Breviary? Does he believe in frequent Confession? Does he keep the fast and abstinence days of the Church? A yes to all these means you have found a winner, a man who can teach his children how to pray.

3) Does he have his own relationship with God, independent of you? If so, great. If not, oh dear, not good, as too many men rely on their wive's relationship with God instead of developing their own.

4) Is he a protector, of you, of others? And, if you have read my posts on the three "p" types of men, you know what I mean.

5) Does he love the one, holy, Catholic and apostolic Church? Is he orthodox? If he is not a great reader of encyclicals and such, is he willing to learn from others?

6) Does he love and  honor his mum and his sisters? Good "catch" if so, avoid if not.

7) Is he generous, with money, time, himself? If he is not, he will not make a good husband. A good husband denies himself for the sake of the wife and children.

8) Is he humble? Who wants to yoke themselves with a braggart, or arrogant man, or a narcissist. See number 4.

9) Does he know how to be a husband, a father, or is he willing to learn and has the natural as well as supernatural gifts to be such a man?

10) Can he support a stay-at-home mum and children? Is he open to home-schooling? Would he sacrifice for a real Catholic education for his children?

11) Is he capable of real love? Does he love the real you and not an imaginary woman he has created in his own image and likeness?

to be continued.....