On Vocations, Again
This is a long post. Bear with me as I try to cover many
points which have been observed in the Catholic communities with which I am
familiar.
Those who are single and lay are called by God to share
eternal life with Him. Those who are priests, nuns, sisters, brothers, are
called to share eternal life with God. Married
people are called to share eternal life with God. There are saints on and off
the calendar who are from every walk of life: carpenters, farmers, doctors,
publishers, actors, lawyers, businessmen, musicians, composers, writers, and
housewives.
Salvation is offered to all humans. God gives all sufficient
grace for salvation. The “victim attitude” of so many Western Catholics creates
confusion. Some Catholics actually believe that people cannot avoid serious
sin, or that the rules of the Church are merely too hard for “normal humans”.
Until priests begin to teach natural law philosophy and the
truth that God desires all people to get to heaven and provides them with the
grace to do so, this victim mentality will continue.
Our salvation has been assured by the Passion, Death and
Resurrection of Christ, but whether we each individually respond to grace is
another question.
Today, I am thinking of the middle-aged and the elderly
Catholics, who because of the mostly wishy-washy catechesis and poor sermons
have fallen into the idea that some people are victims of fate or
circumstances, or even health problems, and therefore cannot be “saved”.
Are we witnessing the gross apostasy of the majority of
Catholics in the West?
It dawned on my this morning that those who are younger than
60 had some sort of marriage prep, or, to be more accurate, those who prepared
for marriage in the 1980s on had to attend pre-Cana classes. Now, some of the
presenters themselves were heretics regarding contraception, but, on the whole,
Catholic married in the past thirty years were at least made aware of two
facts: the existence of Humanae Vitae,
and the truth that each person in the marriage helps, and because of the vow of
marriage, must be dedicated to bringing the other person in the couple to
heaven.
Most Catholics over the age of 60, unless they listened to
EWTN or kept up with the apostolic letters of the popes, or read the
encyclicals, have no clue; it seems, of the supernatural nature of their
marriage relationships. How this lacuna of the realization that married is a
vocation for salvation came to be is not the focus of this post.
However, it is time for priests and catechists to focus on the
spiritual relationship of the husband and wife as the key to holiness in the
domestic church. Some teachers, like Scott Hahn, have done this. But, such a
lesson must be taught from the pulpit, on Sunday, for all to hear.
This need for teaching that the husband brings the wife to
heaven and the wife brings the husband to heaven must be emphasized.
I have heard young men say that it is the duty of the wife
to be religious, but not the husband. This is not only a terribly
“Mediterranean” view that religion is only for women, but a view which is
false.
The husband is the priest in the home, the leader of the
faith. Without this leadership, the role falls to the woman, who must step into
the breach and carry on, but in great suffering, and sadly, sometimes with
opposition.
The husband and wife shepherd the children to accept their
God-given vocations. Sadly, I know too many Catholic families where a job is
more important than the real vocation to which the child is called.
Boys and girls frequently are told by their parents to
succeed, to become wealthy, or at least comfortable. Few parents actually pay
attention to the grace given to them as parents to know, understand and nurture
the vocation of the child.
Example of failures reveal the pain and even loss of
salvation for many people who have been told to go into banking, business, or
another field, not because God called them, but because the parents either want
to live a life of success through the children, or because Mammon, not God is
god in the family.
It is the duty of both parents to cooperate with God
concerning the vocations of their children.
Why they do not do this may be because they do not see that
their own vocation as husband and wife are calls from God, not accidents, full
of the graces given on their wedding day, for the final goal-the joy of heaven.
I know a man who is extremely talented as an artist. His
family did not let him go into art, as it was not on the parental list of
acceptable “jobs”. The man pursued
approved jobs, and has spent his life in great unhappiness. He has given up
painting.
I know a woman who was called to engineering. She had a
steel trap memory for the type of knowledge necessary for engineering. Yet, her
middle-call parents had a list of acceptable jobs, and her vocation to be
creative and happy using her math and scientific skills fell into dormancy.
A flower-arranger, a gardener, even teachers, are not
acceptable “jobs” for many Catholic parents who only want their children to go
into medicine, dentistry, banking or some other lucrative position rather than
looking carefully at the gifts of these children.
I was thrilled in the monastery last year when the Mother
General mentioned to me how fortunate the nuns were to have a member who was an
artist. This talented nun painted the shields in the chapel representing the
saints of Tyburn. The nun had painted other works of art, as well. Her gifts
blessed the monastery for years, and in extension, the Church.
To be what God created a person to be and to do, and I
believe we all have many, many gifts to use for His Glory, is the call of each
of us.
Now, one can get to heaven even in a thwarted vocation, but
God’s Kingdom missed out on a stone in the structure of the Church because from
all eternity God had intended that stone to be part of His Church.
I ask parents, no, I
beg parents, to pray about their children’s vocations and not decide for
them what God wants them to do and to be.
I ask married couples to stop being so busy about many
trivial things and begin to concentrate on their real vocation-bringing each
other to heaven, sanctifying each other through the relationship made holy in
the sacrament of marriage.
In the 2013 class of priests ordained in America
I know too many young men who, if they are supported, it is
with a half-hearted nod to God.
Catholics do not understand that the seminaries no longer
take care of all the needs of the students. These institutions are poor, not
rich. It falls on the parent to provide for many things.
One father told me, “I did not expect to have to pay for
more years of education for this boy. It is a long haul.” The honor of having a son who will be a priest
escapes this dad. He is proud of his other sons in business, but is having
trouble with the call of this son.
Sad. And I know some sems who get no financial support from
families, families which are in the financial position of helping.
Not cooperating with God in encouraging the vocation of a
child may be a sin. It may lead to the loss of the soul of the person who did
not follow his call. Most likely, the great joy and happiness that person could
have experienced here on earth will not be so because of a vocation not
followed.
Pray daily, parents, for the graces God will and does give
you to encourage your children to be, to do, what God intended them to do.
Pray daily, parents, to set aside your own dreams and
expectations of your children.
Pray, couples, to see how God wants you to lead your spouse
to heaven. That He does want you to do this is the reason why you are
married-your mutual salvation, and the salvation of any children who may come
into the family.
If anyone thinks something is “missing” in one’s life, if
anyone feels incomplete, that person must pray that he or she will die in the vocation to which God has called
that person. It is never too late for God to find that room in the mansion
He foresaw and prepared for you. It may be that a woman cannot join a
contemplative order for reasons of age, but God still has a plan for you to
fulfill your role as a contemplative, even in the world. If a man or a woman
think they are too old to be married, realize that marriage is first and foremost
for one’s salvation, and that unity may or may not create children. God is in
charge and has created each one to be and to do what He intended.
To be continued…
