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Friday, 19 December 2014

The Desert Can Also Be Wet And Cold

How odd that I find it much easier to be a hesychast  when it is hot or warm and the sun is shining, and much more difficult when it is cold and wet.

The temperature and climate affect me, especially in counties where there is minimal temperature control.

But, why I should pray more easily when hot or warm is interesting. Perhaps the aches and pains of the cold and damp dampen my purpose as well and make me tired. It is tiring carrying around pain, as those who have such know. My fingers now hurt all the time with chilblains, and my feet most of the time.

I do not mind being in the real desert, but the desert gets very cold when the sun sets.

Yesterday, twice, I had to go out and come back again, Both times it was bucketing down with water, and the major roadway where I wait for the bus flooded both times. Both times, car after car rushed by and I was sprayed with water over and over again. I had never experienced being so wet, soaked through to my skin all over. No exaggeration. Every piece of clothing was very, very wet.

My wooden clogs, which I wear in the rain as I do not have boots, many, many hours later, are still wet-the wood soaked through.

I tried to think of Mary Our Mother, and forgive all those drivers who could have slowed down so as not to splash dirty water over those of use waiting for the bus. A few did.  One young man jumped up on a wall to avoid the sprays and splashes. I could not do that and nor could another lady.

Forgiveness and being humble enough not to be angry takes practice and, yesterday, I had a lot of practice. I try not to waste moments of humiliation. It got easier as the day worn on.

Then, I had to sit on the bus in drenched clothes for over two hours to get to a needed destination.

I tried to imagine whether Mother Mary ever was cold and wet. I think the answer was yes. I mentioned this to someone who told me that (at the age of 55), they had never in their life waited for or taken a bus. Interesting. They looked at me and judged me as being poor for being very wet and a bit dirty. Another humiliation. Someday, when I am perfected, these things will not longer bother me. And, that is God's plan in allowing me to walk around for hours in drenched clothing on a cold day.

It is practice....the practice of the virtues and the dying to comfort and vanity. God knows what He is about.

The desert can also be wet and cold.