I sincerely hope to be full of grace in the way God intended me. I pray daily to live in God's Perfect Will.
This may mean absolutely doing what I do not want to do.
On the other hand, if we love God and are trying to live in His Perfect Will, our prayers and desires reflect His Will for us.
I have had prayers answered because I was praying in God's Will. I have seen things blocked in my life, as this was His Will.
But, sometimes, God's Will involves His allowing great suffering, such as persecution and martyrdom.
Think on this. We do not have much time for freedom. It is eluding us, fading away quickly.
Greater good can come out of intense suffering, and therefore Divine Providence allows this.
But, we are always, always in the palm of His Hand.
Some do not experience suffering as intensely as others. This is also His Will.
Do not bring down suffering on yourself unless it is God's Will. That could be simply the sin of pride.
We do not redeem ourselves through suffering but have been redeemed through Christ's sufferings.
Be patient, be peaceful, do not "sweat the small stuff."
And, I hope when I am very old, that I am more full of grace than I am now-and revealing the gifts. May God grant me time...