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Friday, 27 July 2012

More on being female...

There seems to be a misunderstanding regarding male and female traits or activities. Now, I rode bicycles, climbed trees, shot, did archery, fished, camped and played tennis, golf, cross-country skiing etc. However, sports activities at school, when I was a girl were played in skirts with shorts underneath. Then the styles moved to Bermuda shorts, long pants in winter if we skied. We were modest as children. Girls wore sundresses in the summer. And we covered our shoulders in Mass.  By the way, there are several modest clothes websites which make clothes at very reasonable prices. If I had girl children, I would be looking at those. As to climbing trees, I think my mother stopped me from doing that at a certain age, which was correct and good.

Puberty changes things. So does wearing female clothes. I have very few clothes. Ask my friends. I have enough to get through a week summer and a week winter. So what if there are not many clothes, as long as these are feminine. One does not have to be a clothes horse to be feminine. I hate shopping. Ask my son, and my brothers-three out of the four LOVE shopping and I do not.

Being a "tom-boy" may or may not indicate anything. I had 22 dolls, play prams, play dishes, play pots and pans, tea-sets, a doll house, nursing kit, nurses play outfit, play house, play store, doll houses, etc., but I also did all those more daring things. But as adults, we transition into seriously considering who we are and how we act.

This morning at daily Mass, there were about thirty people attending. Ten were men and twenty were women. Out of those twenty women, seven of us had dresses or skirts. The same women daily wear the same types of clothes and those seven always dress in female styles. Two are elderly Irish ladies, one is French, I am the American, and the others are from African countries. The African ladies also always wear a hat or turban. The French woman and I wear mantillas.

The other, and majority of the women, again, daily participants, fall into two groups. One group dresses in rather posh slacks and tops. The others are in jeans. The jeans group is the majority. And, I am afraid, some of the women look like men.

I cannot express how much God wants us to be women and love ourselves as women. I think part of the problem is that some women do not think they are beautiful. We all are in some way.

I remind people that I do not publish anonymous comments, of which there have been many on this subject.


New Sister said...

Far superior to the burmuda short is the *skort*. God reward the person who first brought them to the market - past 10 years they started appearing. I wear them everywhere in summer - [non-serious] biking, hiking, crawdading w/ niece/nephews, shopping. I have a some long enough for Holy Mass, too. With the right shoes and a quality top, some can be worn in the office as well. The ones shorter than that, which I used to wear everywhere, I now reserve for outdoor & sporting activities only. (I now desire that all my "city" skirts hit at the knee - thank you, Saint Anne!)

As I commented under your last post on this, Supertradmum: I find that we're so very blessed by the high-tech fabrics and styles of today. They permit us to "have our cake and eat it too."

New Sister said...

I am disappointed by the number of senior military women who wear their uniform blouse with only a bra beneath -- no camisole -- revealing its outline. I used to discreetly corrected them, woman-to-woman, but have since given up because the resentment I got back was palatable. [and this with fraternal correction being a very strong part of the military ethos!]

What is it about women that we become so defensive when corrected about our clothes? Daggers shot at me from the eyes of one major who was serving as aide-de-camp for a highly placed four-star officer - whilst mumbling a perfunctory "thanks" for my advice that she wear an undershirt, which she blatantly ignored. Just horrible - she not only continued to conspicuously dart around like that in an office frequented by highly placed officials, but she happened to be Air Force, whose light blue wool/poly blend blouses are the most see-through of all the services. (Army is next worse in white. Marines/Navy have no issue - they wear stiff khaki) It's astonishing, really.

Supertradmum said...

New Sister, and why women refuse to be modest for the sake of our brothers in Christ, or simply for good taste, I do not know...

newguy40 said...

Hi. Caught you over at Fr Z and thought I'd check out your blog.

Can I give you my assessment on daily Mass dressing? When I have been allowed the Grace to attend daily Mass more frequently, I go from home to Mass to work. In general, my work atmosphere is casual. So, I do wear clean jeans and button down shirt with nice shoes. After daily Mass, I head over to my job. On Sunday's I usually wear a jacket and tie even to the NO. I have a bit more time to dress for Sunday. Don't you think that the time I spend before daily Mass reading "In Conversations with God" and praying as I drive over and before the sacrament, is enough? Maybe some of these other women attendees have similar constraints?

I will say that I have no tolerance for immodesty in women in any situation but especially during Mass. I could regail you with some tales that you would likely tut tut over but what's the point?

Supertradmum said...

newguy40, All the women in my congregation are either stay at home moms or retired. None of them rush off to work. Same for the men, who are mostly retired.

No excuses. Your outfit sounds good. I do not, of course, criticize men, as you can do that yourself. I am trying to get my sisters in Christ to realize how beautiful it is to be a mom. And, none of these people are poor, I assure, except two and they wear dresses!

New Sister said...

Best dressed lady at my parish is a Liberian immigrant hairdresser. Long skirts, chaste blouses, and chapel veil. She mostly wears black. Gorgeous.

One Step at a Time said...

I hardly ever wore a skirt until about a year ago when another lady at church who wears skirts all the time said that what was good enough for the Blessed Mother was good enough for her. Mary of course wears long robes which look extremely feminine. I started to try and look more feminine too and I love it. Light cotton skirts are cool in the summer. A warm skirt in the winter is much cosier than jeans (they can be worn underneath if its really cold). I hardly ever wear jeans and only when I work at home or hiking. No more trousers or jeans for me.

love is patience said...

Dear Ethledreda,
I am a deep admirer of your writings. I've been perousing many articles and especially at the moment those in regards to being feminine. I'm 25 and am pregnant with no.4 - my first daughter. I have to confess I have no idea how to be a woman. It's not the wanting to be a man type of feminist - but being a person devoid of most 'feminine' traits. The strong and refined woman. But what does that actually make me? I thought it was 'the modern woman' but now I really just don't know. I'm looking for anything to read to have a purpose as a woman - not just for myself but for my daughter too. I used to think women were the same model but more sophisticated version of men - lol (like the difference between an iphone 3 and an iphone 5) (oh dear) but God is slowly revealing the truth to my ever so proud and blinded eyes. I've started wearing a mantilla as an act of humility before God and a skirt to mass - but it just feels so awkward and foreign. My comfort zone is definitely jeans. If you have any suggestions on where to look for guidance for appropriate reading material to help in my stumbling I would be ever so grateful.

Yours in Christ,

Love is patience.

Supertradmum said...

Love is patience, the way to know how to dress and how to be the beautiful woman God created you to be is simple. Do two things. One, say the rosary daily and Mary Our Mother will show you. Second, read, The Glories of Mary and other books about Mary which are written by the saints.

Read the saints, not modern seers on Mary, such as Bernard of Clairvaux and St. Alphonsus. More later