But, since August, I have seriously considered dropping the blog for three reasons.
First, as God shows me more and more of my hidden sins, those predominant faults, the more I realize I have no right to write about anything.
Second, the times are such that people must now make decisions and stop reading how to be perfect, and become perfect. One can only share so much and then it is time for readers to act.
Third, being in the Dark Night is exhausting. I cannot imagine how Mother Teresa kept going in fifty years of the Dark Night. Will power keeps me going...sometimes passion.
But, I cannot yet leave off the blog...not yet. I keep waiting to hear that clear voice I heard to start, stop and re-start again.
My blogging is a work of love and passion, for God and for the Church, which is all of you out there in the blogosphere.
But, knowing how much I am the wounded healer becomes more and more of a burden.
Today, I read this, by the Pope Emeritus:
"Redemption is not 'wellness' it is not about basking in self-indulgence; on the contrary it is a liberation from imprisonment in self-absorption. This liberation comes at a price, the anguish of the Cross."
Being a writer demands some sense of self-absorption. One must be a wordsmith, working with ideas on paper, on the computer, moving pieces of type around mentally in order to communicate clearly.
But, for those of us called to write, the action is part of who we are as well as what we do.
To break through the self-absorption, one must reflect and pray much, and, listen. I must daily listen to God and listen to His People.
My liberation from sin comes at a price. Someday, God will clearly say, "Stop writing."
That day has not come, yet.
But, I wait on orders, knowing that more of me will die when I have to give up the blog.
Today, in the Carmelite Church where I went to Mass, I saw the large modern stained-glass window of Blessed Titus Brandsma. A bit of comfort, as there is a window of him in the Carmelite Church I attended regularly the summer of 2013. It was almost as if he was saying-"No, you cannot quit yet. Keep going."
The Cross is writing in the pain of knowing I have no right to write, that my readers need to out-grow me, and that so many I love the most do not read this blog. I write for the absent ones as well as you.
Here was a post on this subject.
Friday, 26 July 2013
Titus Brandsma and Thoughts on Time
In the Carmelite Church on Whitefriars in Dublin, the sacristan has moved the statue of Blessed Titus
Brandsma from its place in a small shrine, to the front of the church, in honour of his feast day tomorrow.
Already, dozens of candles have been lit for intercessions.
In the small shrine, at the back on the left-hand aisle, are now placed a few letters from Blessed Titus to
In the small shrine, at the back on the left-hand aisle, are now placed a few letters from Blessed Titus to
various people, concerning his stay in Ireland in the 1930s. I read the translations, and was reminded
of the letter in the Church of the Circumcision in Valletta, from St. Ignatius of Loyola. (no longer there in Oct. '14)
I find it moving to see the handwriting and read the words of saints. These men were doing what God asked
I find it moving to see the handwriting and read the words of saints. These men were doing what God asked
them to do on earth. Now, their letters are second class relics.
And, I was reminded at how fast the world changed from the writing of these letters of Bl. Titus to the
And, I was reminded at how fast the world changed from the writing of these letters of Bl. Titus to the
day he was murdered. Freedom of speech was taken for granted when he wrote his letters in the mid 1930s.
How quickly things changed for him. He was actually killed today, July 26th, in 1942, less than eight years
from the dates when he was writing freely in Ireland, just before his trip to the States in 1935.
How fast things can change, dear brothers and sisters in Christ. Bl. Titus was arrested on January 19 and
How fast things can change, dear brothers and sisters in Christ. Bl. Titus was arrested on January 19 and
died on July 26th. Not much time to prepare for martyrdom...
We have more time to think of freedom of the press, freedom of speech for Catholics; perhaps a year
We have more time to think of freedom of the press, freedom of speech for Catholics; perhaps a year
and half will pass before we are fined for writing on certain subjects. I am extrapolating from recently passed laws.
Blessed Titus is a great saint for modern times. May he bless all of us who pray and write for the glory of
Blessed Titus is a great saint for modern times. May he bless all of us who pray and write for the glory of
