Much Needed Advice from An Older Mum

Sometimes, God makes it clear to me that I need to write on a specific topic, when several readers bring up the same doubts or direct questions.

I have been thinking of writing on parental roles in discerning children's vocations for a few days, and had two people bring this up in different parts of the country.

Please consider what I have to share here.

First of all, young parents, and by young I mean under fifty, lack confidence in their parenting. Society has beat confidence to pulp by undermining the role of the parent in the formation of the child. Governments now want and do take over the formation of children, which is not only in contradiction to the teaching of the Church, but natural law.

Parents are the first, primary and God-given teachers of their children.

Second, parents are given graces in the sacrament of marriage for raising children. Part of the raising of children is the formation of virtue, which some of you have read in my long series last summer of 2013.

Third, parents are given gifts, insights into guiding their children to the specific vocations to which God is calling them.

Finding out one's vocation is not great hidden secret. Indeed, in times past, parents not only saw the gifts of their children clearly but guided them directly into various vocations.

Which leads me to the next point. Parents not only are given gifts to help their children discern their vocations, but parents have a duty to do so.

Why parents are so reluctant to guide directly their own children is a mystery to me. And, if someone is giving advice to the contrary, those people are just plain misguided.

Parents have  duty to ask God specifically what a child is called to do and to help that child fulfill that vocation.

Any parent who neglects prayer and guidance is not fulfilling the role and authority given to them by God. A parent who neglects his duty to raise a child in holiness, guiding that child to the vocation God has in Mind, may lose his salvation for thwarting God's plan.

Now, here is the rub. The parent must be objective and holy to see clearly what God has in mind for the children. A parent cannot merely want a child to be a doctor, for example, because of pride and status, or money and security.

A parent cannot push a child to live out the faded and unfulfilled dreams that the parents once had but lost.

A parent cannot push a child away from a vocation to the priesthood or religious life because that parent wants the child in his life, or wants grandchildren, or the name of the family to be carried on in posterity.

No, no, no...

God will genuinely show the parent who is sincere about seeing God's plan for their children's lives. God will show the parent what to do, how to plan the child's life, education, formation.

This is the natural plan of God, to work with the parent so that the child becomes the man or woman God intended them to be. God even calls children to be and to do things from the womb.

Jeremiah 1:5Douay-Rheims 

5 Before I formed thee in the bowels of thy mother, I knew thee: and before thou camest forth out of the womb, I sanctified thee, and made thee a prophet unto the nations.

Why young parents back off from this important role is a mystery to me. Children need and deserve guidance from holy parents who want the child to be what God desires.

Some saints had excellent parents who cooperated with God's plan. Some did not. One thinks of the excellent parents of St. Bernard of Clairvaux, who are both recognized as being holy-his mother is a blessed-, and the awful, selfish parents of St. Thomas Aquinas, who are not blesseds.

Catholic parents must pray daily for knowledge and to push this responsibility totally on a youth, no matter how old, is irresponsible.

Whether a child is called to marriage, a religious vocation or the priesthood, that child needs the direction of holy parents

Some parents pray that God would show the child his or her vocation, when the prayer should be that God would show the parents and the child the vocation to which God has called that child.

God gives many hints and even large indications as to what He wants a child to do and to be. And, if a child rebels against holy parents who have sought out the will of God, woe to that child. Disobedience and rebellion are not normal.

Pray and pay attention, parents, as that is your role.

Are your children in the Church Militant or the Church Mushy?

There is a famous story of a young girl in France, who was Jewish. On her way home from school, on July 15 or 16, 1942, she witnessed the infamous Vel d’Hiv roundup, when up to 13,000 Jews in Paris were taken to the old stadium Vélodrome d'Hiver and sent to Auschwitz. 

The young girl had enough sense not to go home, but turned around and went to the closest house. She knocked on the door and an older woman answered. The woman opened the door, looked at the girl, and let her in.

Through out the entire war and occupation of Paris, this woman pretended that this girl was her own. 

The child was saved by a brave woman, who would have been killed, if she was discovered hiding a Jewess.

The young girl was about twelve years old. 

I am sharing some of the details as I am writing to parents a harsh but necessary lesson.

As parents, it is our duty to protect our children from harm. 

It is not our duty to protect them from the truth of coming times of trials. Children in the next years will be facing a number of extremely difficult situations which will change their lives. 

These changes should not come as a shock or surprise to even those in grade school.

Like this young girl, who knew what was happening, and used her common sense to survive, we need to be training children to live in the Church Militant, not the Church Mushy.

There is a wrong way that parents look at suffering. Too many want to pretend that their children will not suffer. But, we have a duty to prepare our children spiritually for suffering.

What does this mean? I have written many posts on the formation of virtue in children from a young age. 

That is merely the first step. Formation in the virtues means reading books about virtues, going to Mass in the week, going to regular confession, saying the rosary, going to proper Adoration.

When my son was eight, I took him to the abortion vigil across from where a clinic was being built, and he said the rosary with the group there. The priest who led the vigils told me recently that my young son confided in him that he wanted to be a priest. 

There is a connection. Another priest who influenced my son at the age of thirteen came out of the Serbian-Croatian wars as a young man. He shared stories of horrible persecution, and so did his wife. They lost family members because of their religion. They are Byzantine Catholics. 

The lives of the martyrs should be shown as soon as possible, especially such great movies as A Man for All Seasons. Ten to twelve would be an appropriate age to begin with movies, but books can be read much earlier. One can share the news about the Christians being persecuted in Syria, or Bethlehem or Saudi Arabia, or Pakistan and show children the lives modern martyrs. Families can pray for these Christians.

Age 13-14

Agnes, Lucy, Tarcisius, Agatha, Odilo, Hugh of Lincoln, Peter Yu Tae-cho, the Ulma children, Ambrosio Kibuuka, Denis Ssebuggwawo, Kizito, Reparata,  and José Luis Sánchez del Río are either Servants of God or Blesseds, or Saints. 

They are all martyrs, and so are the seven sons of the Mother in the Book of Maccabees, which you can find here. http://supertradmum-etheldredasplace.blogspot.com/2013/08/the-mother-of-seven-brothers.html



They were aged three to eighteen when they were martyred-all of the above. The Church honors them. There are many more child or adolescent saints who were martyred. 

Denis SSebuggwawo, Age 16

I was reading books about the early martyrs at age seven. So was my son.

The third step, as stories and movies is step two, would be the praying to martyrs, especially if the child is named after one. I named my son after two martyrs, knowing the days to come would bring suffering, and he would need strong patrons. 

Talk about the reality of the political situation if it begins to impinge on the family. Do not hide the truth, for example, if your church is shut down because of the lack of vocations or a priest shortage, share this with the family. If there are heresies or contraception taught in the schools, talk about this. Children need to know the future of the Church as real and affecting their lives. This would be step four.

Step five would be explaining to them that to be a Catholic means making a decision for Christ and His Church even in hard times. 

Our children are surrounded more and more by people who hate the Church, hate Christ, and the ways of God. Step six would include discussions on what it means to be in the world, but not of the world. And, I would hope that parents would be living a life which is teaching this truth on a daily basis.

Parents, it is our duty to raise saints, not marshmallow children.

Those in the Church Mushy may not be able to save their souls in the times to come. We are responsible for teaching our children how to become saints in a hostile world.

And, of course, if you are helping your children become closer to Jesus, they will know that they are not alone.

Say the Guardian Angel prayer daily. I do. 

to be continued....

Pondering on The Readings from The NO Mass Today-Second Reading

I could have called this the post of the Young Saints.

In the Novus Ordo Mass today, the second reading highlights the discipline and suffering needed for all of us.

After the TLM today, outside, many young people, the ones with whom I am closest in the community, mainly because some of them have made and celibate commitment, some are pursuing perfection, and some are on line were talking for a good 45 minutes in a group on suffering.

Amazing. These are the saints in training. Many of them have deep personal sufferings, such as illnesses, or barrenness although being young marrieds. Some have suffering in their families, many of whom are parents who have lost the Faith.

Incredible as it sounds, all of these young people, only one of them Irish, all expect organized persecution. The young ones from Poland have seen it all before through the stories of their families in Poland. The ones from Scotland pray and understand the signs of the times. They understand that the Church needs to be purified. Those from Brazil have seen the rot in the Church set in.

While some have been mistaken about the length of these hard times coming soon, they all acknowledge the reality of the purification of themselves and the Church.

It is too bad that the older people in the congregation do not get this. Of course, there are few, if any my age, mostly the people are much older or like these twenty and thirty somethings, much younger.

I have no idea where the rest are....

Hebrews 12:7-15

Douay-Rheims 

7 Persevere under discipline. God dealeth with you as with his sons; for what son is there, whom the father doth not correct?

8 But if you be without chastisement, whereof all are made partakers, then are you bastards, and not sons.

9 Moreover we have had fathers of our flesh, for instructors, and we reverenced them: shall we not much more obey the Father of spirits, and live?

10 And they indeed for a few days, according to their own pleasure, instructed us: but he, for our profit, that we might receive his sanctification.

11 Now all chastisement for the present indeed seemeth not to bring with it joy, but sorrow: but afterwards it will yield, to them that are exercised by it, the most peaceable fruit of justice.

12 Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees,

13 And make straight steps with your feet: that no one, halting, may go out of the way; but rather be healed.

I am not into "youth events" and I am not a Pelagian: thoughts on works and grace

Ephesians 2:8-9

Douay-Rheims 

8 For by grace you are saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, for it is the gift of God;

9 Not of works, that no man may glory.

In my fairly long life, I can say that I have met less than one hundred people in the Illuminative State. These are the ones DOING the Work of God and not their own works. Why are we not preaching and teaching personal holiness? Heresies are the reasons-the confusion on works and grace.

I am convinced that Pelagianism is the heresy most popular in the Catholic Church in Great Britain.

For several reasons do I know this from experience in listening and discussions, as well as, sadly, sermons and working in the Church.

Pelagius denied the effects of Original Sin, writing that Adam's sin only affected himself and that babies are born in the state of Adam before the Fall.

Does this sound familiar?

Pelagius denied the need for a Redeemer, which is the logical result of the denial of the effects of Original Sin.

The other HUGE evil of Pelagianism and more so in Semipelagianism is that works not Faith save.  We are not saved by works...we gain merit in works ONLY if we are perfected. We cannot merit anything in states of serious or habitual sin. And, merely preaching that we all should love without Christ's Love and not a false sentimentality, borders on self-indulgence. St. Paul went into the desert for up to ten years after his conversion, before he began his ministry-WHY?...

Because holiness is about BEING not DOING.... 

Most Catholics are caught up in doing. I remember years ago when I was working as a missionary in Canada, (yes, that was my visa status-missionary), that a prominent person in the diocese where I was working told me he wanted "Youth Events" not retreats. He did not want me to speak of sin, (most of the teens in this area were on drugs and promiscuous as I had discovered either by actually listening to them or through other missionaries), and he did not want me to speak of Redemption.

I was shocked, as this man and his team were supposed to be working with me and my team to evangelize.

The first team said they wanted the teens to feel good about themselves, which was laughable and sad, as we were working in an very affluent area, as well as with others not so affluent, and with youth who were narcissistically caught us in themselves and needed some good old fashioned awareness of the four last things.

Not so, said Team One and Team Two was stymied....

Many Catholics here have fallen into the same pattern of what I call the psychobabble of how to make youth feel good so that they convert.  Modern youth are not any more mixed up or less evil than First Century Romans or Ephesians or Macedonians. We are allowing the cult of victimhood to interfere with evangelization.

A few lines from the greatest Evangelizers might help here: check these out: , St. Augustine in 412 wrote the famous works: "De peccatorum meritis et remissione libri III" (P.L., XLIV, 109 sqq.) and "De spiritu et litera" (ibid., 201 sqq.), in which he positively established the existence of original sin, the necessity of infant baptism, the impossibility of a life without sin, and the necessity of interior grace (spiritus) in opposition to the exterior grace of the law (litera) Catholic Encyclopedia

And from our first Pope:

from the First Epistle of St. Peter, which you should all read in the entire, as it is THE epistle for our time:

[1] Christ therefore having suffered in the flesh, be you also armed with the same thought: for he that hath suffered in the flesh, hath ceased from sins: [2] That now he may live the rest of his time in the flesh, not after the desires of men, but according to the will of God. [3] For the time past is sufficient to have fulfilled the will of the Gentiles, for them who have walked in riotousness, lusts, excess of wine, revellings, banquetings, and unlawful worshipping of idols. [4] Wherein they think it strange, that you run not with them into the same confusion of riotousness, speaking evil of you. [5]Who shall render account to him, who is ready to judge the living and the dead.

[6] For, for this cause was the gospel preached also to the dead: that they might be judged indeed according to men, in the flesh; but may live according to God, in the Spirit. [7] But the end of all is at hand. Be prudent therefore, and watch in prayers. [8] But before all things have a constant mutual charity among yourselves: for charity covereth a multitude of sins. [9] Using hospitality one towards another, without murmuring, [10] As every man hath received grace, ministering the same one to another: as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.

[11] If any man speak, let him speak, as the words of God. If any man minister, let him do it, as of the power, which God administereth: that in all things God may be honoured through Jesus Christ: to whom is glory and empire for ever and ever. Amen. [12] Dearly beloved, think not strange the burning heat which is to try you, as if some new thing happened to you; [13] But if you partake of the sufferings of Christ, rejoice that when his glory shall be revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. [14] If you be reproached for the name of Christ, you shall be blessed: for that which is of the honour, glory, and power of God, and that which is his Spirit, resteth upon you. [15] But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or a thief, or a railer, or a coveter of other men' s things.

[16] But if as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name. [17] For the time is, that judgment should begin at the house of God. And if first at us, what shall be the end of them that believe not the gospel of God? [18] And if the just man shall scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear? [19] Wherefore let them also that suffer according to the will of God, commend their souls in good deeds to the faithful Creator.

[18] Scarcely: That is, not without much labour and difficulty; and because of the dangers which constantly surround, the temptations of the world, of the devil, and of our own corrupt nature.

Can you imagine a priest saying something similar from the pulpit, only adding contraception, abortion and the gay lifestyle?

Catholics, if you are into youth events and not the real deal of conversion and Redemption in Christ, you are not only wasting your time, but doing more damage than good.

And, there is a second part to this.

Works are practically useless and ARE useless if one, you are not holy and yourself gets in the way of God's Work. And, two, if you are not orthodox, you are possibly causing scandal. One gets no merit for works which come from our own selves and talents and not from the power and purity of God.

Look at the chart on perfection on June 6th here on this blog. Only those who are at the Illuminative Stage, beyond the Dark Night are doing the works of God which convert, which last-examples are SS. Benedict, Francis, Dominic, Anthony, Teresa, Therese, and so on....

Not all saints are born saints.They must go through the stages of holiness. If you are not working on personal purgation of sin, you are most likely not doing God's Work but your own.

You are a Pelagian or Semipelagian, not a Catholic.

By the way, here are the heretical points clarified (again from CE):the famous Council of Carthage, which again branded Pelagianism as a heresy in eight (or nine) canons(Denzinger, "Enchir.", 10th ed., 1908, 101-8). Owing to their importance they may be summarized:

1. Death did not come to Adam from a physical necessity, but through sin.
2. New-born children must be baptized on account of original sin.
3. Justifying grace not only avails for the forgiveness of past sins, but also gives assistance for the avoidance of future sins.
4. The grace of Christ not only discloses the knowledge of God's commandments, but also imparts strength to will and execute them.
5. Without God's grace it is not merely more difficult, but absolutely impossible to perform good works.
6. Not out of humility, but in truth must we confess ourselves to be sinners.
7. The saints refer the petition of the Our Father, "Forgive us our trespasses", not only to others, but also to themselves.
8. The saints pronounce the same supplication not from mere humility, but from truthfulness.
9. Some codices containing a ninth canon (Denzinger, loc. cit., note 3): Children dying without baptism do not go to a "middle place" (medius locus), since the non reception of baptism excludes both from the "kingdom of heaven" and from "eternal life". (This last point is being revisited by the Church, but has not been clarified, except with regard to the statements on the Mercy of God in the CCC and on this blog.

A young couple I know are waiting five months to baptize their baby and they go to Church weekly. Why?

My mother lost four children-one at one and three before full-term. Only my sister and one at four months in the womb were baptized. 

Do not wait, parents. And, protestant "dedication" is not a sacrament.

Also, here are the main elements of Semipelagianism: I hope some can recognize these faults in thinking and rectify their approach, especially some priests, who have fallen into the fallacy of number 2.

1. In distinguishing between the beginning of faith (initium fidei) and the increase of faith (augmentum fidei), one may refer the former to the power of the free will, while the faith itself and its increase is absolutely dependent upon God;
2. the gratuity of grace is to be maintained against Pelagius in so far as every strictly natural merit is excluded; this, however, does not prevent nature and its works from having a certain claim to grace;
3. as regards final perseverance in particular, it must not be regarded as a special gift of grace, since the justified man may of his own strength persevere to the end;
4. the granting or withholding of baptismal grace in the case of children depends on the Divine prescience of their future conditioned merits or misdeeds.

If you want more on freedom and grace, read St. Augustine.

And here is the chart list again, for those who do not want to use search: http://supertradmum-etheldredasplace.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/for-those-who-love-chartson-way-to.html

To be continued....