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Sunday 6 July 2014

Novella Continued Sally Forth....Part Three


“I am only going to meet Dr. Allen three more times and then quit,” Matt shared with Sally over the phone. “He is convinced that I am not scarred for life.” Matt laughed. Sally could imagine his bright smile over the phone. “He said I was remarkably sane for a person my age, which is a bit worrying, don’t you think?” Sally smiled at her end. Yes, Matt had escaped the habits of the Toxics. “I always wondered why you decided to get counseling. You need it less than any of us.”

“It was my conversion, you know, Sal,” Matt said quietly. “You and I have something, and you understand.” Sally said yes, and Matt had to go. He had a client coming in after his lunch break and he needed to go over the information he had. “Talk to you soon.”

Sally did indeed remember Matt’s conversion, as it followed her intense experience of Christ by a mere two weeks, two years ago. The entire family had decided to meet for the annual picnic in Tulsa, where John and his family lived. But, an extraordinary thing happened. Matt was to fly in from Houston and Sally was coming in from Madison. They were going to meet in Tulsa for dinner before moving on to the family reunion at the Sheraton.

But two months before Tulsa, Sally was going to Adoration, invited by her friend Frieda, a member of the staff of her college. But, what Frieda had not told Sally was that Adoration began with Mass, a Tridentine Mass said by a member of the Fraternity of St. Peter, Fr. Richmann. Sally had never been to a “TLM”. She met Frieda outside the church.

“Here, wear this, if you do not mind,” and Frieda handed Sally a mantilla. “Why?” Sally looked at the black lace triangle. “Well, I didn’t tell you that Mass was first, and it is a traditional Latin Mass. But, you don’t mind, do you? I mean you are a faithful Catholic.”

Sally looked at Frieda. “Sure, why not. I have never been to a Latin Mass before and would like to attend one. Adoration is immediately after, correct?”

Frieda said yes, and the two went in. Sally had not expected a choir or so many people. She was genuinely surprised at so many on a Saturday. She followed Frieda into the pew, genuflecting, as she always did. Looking around, Sally saw more young people her age than she had seen in her parish in Madison. In fact, she was one of the youngest at that parish, even though she was in her mid-thirties.

The Mass began, a special observance for the Annunciation, and Sally immediately knew she was “home”. She experienced something she had never experienced in the Mass she regularly attended near the University. She discovered the Transcendent God. For the first time, for some reason, Sally knew the Indwelling of the Trinity, her baptismal gift, as if she had never experienced God before. At first, she was surprised, as the chant ebbed and flowed through her brain like a consoling breath. Then, as the Mass continued, Sally felt more and more like she “belonged”, that here was a place, a time where she was loved and respected in the depths of her being.

She looked around to see if anyone else had noticed her amazement, but almost all those in the pews were following the Liturgy with missals.

When Sally went up to receive Communion on the tongue and kneeling, something she had never done before in her life, her Communion became a real communication of the Presence of Christ. Her thoughts were lifted out of her world into something, Someone, else. Sally, for a moment, lost herself in God.

At Adoration, this moment returned, and for the half-hour the two women could stay, Sally knew she had been found by God, that God had let her be found.

She could not talk about this. Frieda wanted to go for coffee afterwards, but Sally begged off. “I need to go home.”

Frieda asked, “Did you like the Mass? I mean, do you want to go again? I go every Sunday.” Sally said, “Yes, I do. I can meet you here again tomorrow.”

And that was the beginning of a new time for Sally. For two weeks, she managed to get to daily and Sunday Mass in the Tridentine Rite. Then, she phoned Matt.

She had to tell someone. “Matt, I have been attending the FSSP Mass here and I cannot tell you what it is like. But, I am going to go now, all the time.”  Matt was silent on the other end for a moment.

“This is weird, Sal. My counselor goes and he invited me to come next Sunday in Houston. Hey, this is so, well, synchronic.”

Sally laughed. She and Matt had a thing about synchronicity. She remembered the several times in their lives that similar things happened to each of them at about the same time.

“Hey, Sal, I have to go. I am working on something. Get back to you soon.”

Matt did get back to Sal, when at a new restaurant, on Sunday, two weeks later. “Sal, I am sitting here with four great guys I just met at the TLM. Hey, we have been talking about the Liturgy for an hour. This is so cool. Why did I not know about this?”

So began the new lives of these siblings. Sally in Madison and Matt in Houston became part of the TLM parishes and discovered a Catholicism they never knew existed. They began to read new books which were very old. They attended Holy Hour and First Friday as well as First Saturday Masses and devotions. They both began to receive the sacrament of Penance more often, and soon, Matt was on a men’s weekend retreat just before the family reunion.

They wondered whether they should share this experience with their siblings when the Tulsa crisis hit. James and Bobbie came first with their three children to the camp grounds outside the city. They had a huge camper, the biggest and best one could find. Sally called it the “bungalow on wheels”.

John and Mary were to fly down from Minneapolis with their two children and stay in the same campgrounds with James and Bobbie. There was enough room for all of them. However, there was only one problem. Massie had apparently misunderstood the plans, thinking that she and Duke were staying with James and Bobbie, and that the rest of the family would be renting cabins. Matt and Sally had a cabin, and they thought Mom and Dad had rented one as well.

When Matt met Sally at the airport to go out for dinner before meeting the rest of the family, he had bad news.

“She just left. She turned around after an argument with everyone and left. Duke, of course, left with her. They are somewhere. There were no more cabins available. It is a mess. But, she got is wrong, we all agree.”

“Wow, we all agree on something, amazing.” Sally said this but wished she had not. It was sarcastic and sarcasm fit into the negative, obsessive thoughts she was trying to get rid of in her psyche.

“Sorry,” she mumbled. Matt grinned, “No problem. I thought the same thing but did not say it.”

They ordered dinner. “Well, John and James think they should leave and go home, to visit Mom and Dad there, making up for the mistake. I said that was stupid and that we all should just enjoy ourselves despite Mom’s temper tantrum. James went ballistic and said even though Mom was wrong, we should try and make peace. I call this emotional terrorism. Dr. Allen would call it gross manipulation.”

Sally stirred milk into her coffee. “I really do not know what to do. We paid for the cabin. It sleeps four. Mom and Dad could stay with us. Why go back to Minneapolis? It seems stupid and a waste. The kids are probably looking forward to being here together.”

“So, when are the kids being thought of first? They never are. They are just appendages.”

Sally did not reply. Kids never came first in this narcissitic bunch. No one really cared ever how the children felt about anything. John, especially when drunk, did not care. And Mary, who was an only child, lived for herself, excusing her behavior by blaming John for everything wrong.

“I am not going anywhere. I invited my new girlfriend up for a day and I was going to introduce her to everyone. If no one else stays, will you? Contra mundum?”

“Contra mundum,” replied Sally. This was the battle cry of these siblings. “It is giving in to hysteria to leave. I sincerely hope James and John come to their senses.”

The two finished dinner and took a rental car out to the camp grounds. Within minutes, it was clear that even though everyone there knew and agreed that Massie was wrong and acting like a child, how to deal with the situation varied.

James had asked Bobbie to take the kids swimming. Mary, John, Sally and Matt sat down in the bungalow on wheels with drinks. Mary wore her new muumuu she bought in Hawaii when she and John were there a month ago.  She looked very retro. James spoke first.

“Mom and Dad have disappeared. We think they went to the Radisson, which Mom hates and will complain about. But, we have to decide what to do. Mary and John want to leave, but to be honest, I paid a bunch for this site and I am not inclined to go. Matt, what do you want to do?”

James never asked Sally her opinion for anything. She was a non-person and knew it. She was content to keep silent. Matt would share her point of view. “I have decided to stay. I have my new friend, Abbey, coming up on Wednesday and I am not going to put her out. Sal says she will stay as well.”

James looked shocked. “You mean you are putting this Abbey before Mom and Dad?”

Matt smiled. “Abbey is not just this Abbey, she is the girl friend. Sorry, but yes, I am.”

James poured out a lemonade for himself. It was freshly squeezed in the huge kitchen. He did not drink alcohol at all. Sally knew James thought he was superior to John and Mary, as well as to Matt and herself. She had lived with his priggishness all her life. She was used to it and no longer noticed his grand obsession with health.

“Well, Matt, you are the youngest and cannot understand what Mom’s feelings mean to us. If you want to stay, fine. I am not sure what to do.” James was the master of passive aggressive manipulation. When he was young, he spent four years in a monastery. Sally had assumed he learned to be passively obstinate there. James continued. “Mary and John what do you want to do?”

Mary spoke, as usual, first. “Well, we do not even know where Massie and Duke are, do we?” And, as if on cue, James’ cell phone rang. It was Duke.

James left the table and walked into another room. A few minutes later, he came back. “Dad said they will come back if the kids stay with Sally and Matt, leaving room for them here.”

Matt squirmed in his chair. All five kids in the cabin and Abbey coming---Sally tried not to laugh out loud. She got up, “Well, I am going to go for a swim with the kids. You all let me know what you decide.”

Sally had her own way to deal with passive aggressiveness. She walked out, went to her cabin and changed. She honestly felt that she could not longer bear the charade of love and care her siblings wove like a web to hide the fact that they were all constantly manipulated.

Sally was taking her time and about a half-hour later, Matt came up to the door. “Hey, can I come in?”

Sally yelled out, “Sure”. Matt threw himself on the futon in the main room.

“Well?” Sally stood there in her swimming wrap and waited. “While James and Duke were sorting things out, Bobbie came in with Jewel and Carson. They have welts all over them. Mary is panicking. There is a nurse in the main building. I think it is poison ivy, but Mary is convinced there is something in the water. Well, the upshot is that John, Mary and their kids are leaving. Mary wants to sue the camp. I mean, one cannot make this stuff up.”

Sally was sure the children were not in danger. “Well, Massie and Duke can now stay with James and Bobbie. No problem.”

“No, James called them back, told them about the hives, and now the parents are leaving to go home.”

“Man, what a waste of time and money. I just do not understand any of this.”

Matt got up and went to the small fridge for a soda. “Well, you do not have to be the center of attention. That is your charm.”

Sally sat down. “Well, I shall stay for the week as intended. What are James and Bobbie doing?”

Matt offered Sally some pop. She said no thanks. “I guess they have not decided. Hey, I shall join you by the lake.”

Two hours later, John and Mary packed and left with the children, who indeed, had a severe reaction to poison ivy. Mary had told James that she would never agree to any place he and Bobbie would decide upon for a vacation. Bobbie had said, “Fine, you decide and plan next year and let us know.” As usual, James and Bobbie were undecided as to what to do with the rest of the week, when Sally and Matt joined them for dinner in the bungalow on wheels.

“Bobbie and I are having a little disagreement.” Bobbie glared at James. Obviously, it was more than a little disagreement.

“The kids do not have their cousins here and the reason for this vacation was a family reunion.”  James stopped talking.  He wanted others to decide for him.

Bobbie had fallen into a sullen silence. Sally knew the scene. Bobbie would not say anything in front of James, but complain behind his back for days after any decision was made. But, most likely, a decision would not be made. Things would just happen.

Matt said they should all eat and discuss details after dinner. Sean, Fiona, and Michael came in from outside. They said nothing. Sally felt so sorry for these three. While Jewel and Carson had a drunk dad to deal with, these three had to work around unspoken resentments and a clawing negativity. She really felt for her niece and nephews.

Sally thought of some fun things they could do together this week. She would be a real aunt and help the kids have fun.

“When is Abbey joining you, again? I cannot remember the day you mentioned, Matt.”

“Wednesday, and only for the day, because she has a sister in Tulsa and is going to stay with her. She just wanted to see me and meet some of the family.” Matt was setting up a chess set to play with Fiona, who loved chess.

“Well, I can understand why you want to stay,” Bobbie ventured into new territory, expressing herself before James had done so.

Bobbie continued, “What about a compromise, James? We can stay through Wednesday and then leave Thursday morning, visiting the parents on the way back.”

James sat down with his ice tea. “Hmm, that might work. I shall phone Mom and Dad and see if we can see them. It will take us about a day and a half to get there.”

So, the vacation plans were settled. Sally managed to go riding with Sean and Michael, and Matt got to introduce the puzzled Abbey to at least part of the family.

As planned, the giant camper pulled out on Thursday morning, leaving a relieved brother and sister to spend three days as they wished. The first thing they did was to find a Latin Mass in Tulsa, using the rental car for the rest of the week, and having more of a retreat than a vacation, until they left. Sally more or less decided this was the last family reunion she would ever attend, but as it turned out, she ended up at one more.

However, this year, two years later, as she flicked water away from her with her feet,  this year not attending the reunion but staying at her own little place, Sally knew she would have to make more serious decisions than merely avoiding family gatherings. She had to decide on her life. She had to make a severe break and she was not sure how to do this. But, deep down inside, a little voice niggled at her. She could here Hans’ voice, quiet, severe, serious.

To be continued….