Only those who have deadened their consciences no longer feel guilty about serious and even venial sin.
Shame comes from a culture. Some cultures create criteria for shame. Some people feel shamed because of outside influences.
A friend of mine told me she would be ashamed to beg. There is no shame, per se, in begging for one's needs.
Another friend of mine noted that she felt shameful in her family, as they are all hyper-successful and she is not.
These two shames are imposed shames, put on a person by the larger culture in which they live.
Facing complete financial ruin and homelessness, I have had to deal with those who blame me for poverty.
Poverty happens for many reasons. I have had cancer, I have had asthma and many, many medical bills. I was a single mom, the largest group of poor in the States.
One may never be able, even with brains and gumption, to ever pull one's self out of dire poverty.
Yet, the vast majority of people I meet want me to feel shame.
There should be no shame in being poor. There should be no guilt or shame in being rich.
Cultures heavily influenced by Calvinism, such as the Midwest, have created a shame culture. People complain about some of the poor who act "uppity". Can they not see that such attitudes are defenses against false shame? God asked us to love the poor, not throw money at them. The poor want to be independent, not dependent, not treated like stupid children.
God has allowed me to be humbled and I accept this. If I were in a convent, I would be embracing voluntary poverty, which is of a higher level, as it is freely chosen. I did choose poverty in some ways, like not marrying two millionaires who asked me long ago. I did not love them, and I do not believe in using people. They were good men but I knew we would not make a good couple in each case. One was not Catholic and the other was not a religious Catholic. It was not God's Will as the old adage that women can change a man is simply not true. We do not marry to convert. We marry in strength and in a common purpose to serve God, not man. I would never act out of utilitarianism or manipulation.
My son is God's Will. He belongs to God and to Mary, Our Mother. My son taught me not to feel shame. He grew up in poverty and accepted it with grace and panache. His peace and objectivity showed me how to be free of shame. I thank him for this grace.
For an independent one like me, poverty stops freedom. Poverty is a physical prison. One cannot do what one likes. I love to paint, to walk long distances daily, to go to daily Mass and Adoration. I would love to have my own space, being an INTJ. These things are denied to me. Such is God's Will right now, perhaps forever. God knows and has known from all time. This does not mean I do not try to get out of the situation, of course.
People assume persistence creates results. I have applied for so many jobs I have lost track.
To be poor is to accept God's Will. It does not seem to be God's Will that everyone is wealthy, healthy and wise...
I shall take the wisdom first. Thank you. And, I am not ashamed if I am doing God's Will in my life.
One must accept the suffering God allows. Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane said this, and if Christ can say this, so can I.
Luke 22:42
Douay-Rheims
42 Saying: Father, if thou wilt, remove this chalice from me: but yet not my will, but thine be done.
How ironic that one of the things I would love to do the most, buy my son's chalice for his ordination in 2017, I may not be able to do. Thy Will be done, O Lord. I have to give up my will is this as well as in many things I would love to do.
