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Tuesday, 15 October 2013

Arguments on Nomenclature

For years, I have had an on-going argument on the terms child, youth, young adult and adult.

Part of the problem is the over-protection of teens, from the point of view from parents in Gen X. Overprotecting children does not help them grow. I know children who are in their teens who have never walked anywhere, being carried in cars their entire lives from here to there.

I know parents who check up on their children almost constantly on the cell phone, creating hot-house plants instead of allowing youth people experiences that help them grow up.

But, one must start with language. A teen is not a child. A teen is a young adult, who should be learning skills for being independent at college or university. To keep calling teens children is to demean the process of maturation.

In addition to not giving young adults some freedom in movement and making decisions under parental guidance, another huge problem is that parents do not demand obedience from adults who are in the house and being supported.

I tell parents constantly that if they are still paying rent, food, travel, clothes, etc for their offspring, those children owe their parents obedience and honor. I have friends who absolutely disagree with their young adults' lifestyles, but still give them money and meet their needs.

This is not good parenting. One should not become friends with their offspring until these people earn such respect as adults.

One moves towards maturity in slow steps, but these steps have to be orchestrated by the parents. Parents need to plan how to make their children become young adults and finally adults.

Being financially responsible is one of those steps. Becoming mannerly and respectful is part of growing up.
Making good decisions about things is also a step to maturity, under the guidance of parents and under the authority of parents.

To be continued...